Hi cleonykx
Thank you for your post, I think so much of what you have written about
is really relatable. It must have been tough writing about your
experiences and feelings though, so you’ve been very courageous.
Firstly, with so much going on in your personal life I think it’s
amazing you've been keeping on top of uni. It’s a struggle
to get everything done, even without having to manage yours and your parents' mental health difficulties. I know exactly what
you mean when you say you just want to press the pause button to be able to
catch your breath. It can be really hard to manage life and uni at the same
time.
When we have issues that we’re struggling with there are
generally two types of approaches we can take. One is a problem-solving
approach and one is an emotion-focussed approach.
A problem-solving approach is useful when we have a lot of control over
a situation and there are practical things we might be able to do. In the short-term it might be things like cutting
down on other commitments like work, to free up extra time to study.
It might be talking to a lecturer about our personal situation to seek an extension. And in the longer term it might be looking at switching from full-time
to part-time studies to take some of the pressure off yourself.
An emotion-focussed approach is more useful when we don’t have a lot of control
over the practical side of things. In this instance the only thing we can
control is how we think about the situation. It’s generally the case that the
way we think about a situation affects the way we feel, which then affects the
way we behave.
So for example I might be thinking that I didn’t do a good job on my
last assignment, and now with another one to do I feel hopeless and like I won’t
do well. As a result I might keep putting it off, and then not do a great job on it, which will
then reinforce my original feeling that I’m not going to do well.
Instead I might challenge that initial thought. I might recognise that I
didn’t do as well as I’d hoped on the last assignment, but acknowledge that
while I was trying to complete it, my personal life was really messy. With that
new perspective, I’m feeling a bit better about this assignment because I know the
mark I got wasn’t a valid reflection of my ability. Knowing this, I am able to
get onto this next assignment with a better mindset and the knowledge that I can
do this. Does that make sense?
All the best and I hope to hear back from you,
SammyD
