Not experiencing enough

[Vexed]

Hey all, I'm an 18 year old male and quite confused about quite a few things. I really want to get out more and enjoy life but I don't really have any incentive to do it. I used to hang out with the biggest scumbags and did a lot of drugs, I'm clean now and barely drink. Looking back I really regret doing it but I guess I liked having people to hang out with. I don't text anyone except for when my family texts me and I hate the whole going to partys deal, I've been to two and hated both. I play a lot of video games and have never been in a relationship before which is probably the thing that makes me the most saddened. I tend to think alot deeply about the wonders of life and things in general but don't get a chance to experience them, I feel really different to the people I know and I just don't know why.

[therising]

Hi Vexed

That quest to 'find our self' or where we fit in can definitely be a challenging one at times, for sure. By the way, knowing who you are not is always a good start. Being an ex heavy drinker, I can relate to your break away from those artificial 'highs' in life. Being an ex-drinker also means that the drinking/party scene is a think of the past for me cos I just can't immerse myself in that vibe whilst my brain is sober (which is not a bad thing as far as I'm concerned). So, the question becomes 'How to find a new tribe?', so to speak.

Sounds a bit cliche but I shall ask where your interests lie. Basically, any interests which involve meeting up with groups of positive like-minded people turn out to be productive interests in more ways than one. Instead of meeting up with folk who are together experiencing the artificial highs, you're meeting up with the ones who thrive off the natural highs the brain is capable of producing.

Definitely a tough thing when you feel different to most people. Being a mum to 2 teenagers, I never could get into that mother's club scene when my kids were growing up. It was a scene that I just never felt comfortable in. Never was a really sporty person, so the local sports club was out of the question for me. Took me a while but I did 'find my tribe'. Being a soulful kind of person, I ended up immersing myself in the more spiritual scene. Meditation sessions have become my thing, when it comes to meeting up with others. Yes, I am what others refer to as 'a freak' or 'a weirdo', being into all that spiritual stuff. In finding others who are different from the norm, I came to find support on my quest. Anyhow, enough about me...

Feeling different from everyone else may make it a little challenging for you to find a sense of belonging or that sense of fulfillment you're looking for but as soon as you begin to celebrate your difference, both your mind and the world opens up a little more. Vexed, you are a unique person in search of amazement and excitement, with an obvious longing to evolve. You may just have to branch out from the people you know and become 'a lone pioneer', a little daunting but highly rewarding. Unexplored territory may be exactly where a fulfilling relationship with another unique person exists.

Take care of yourself Vexed as you continue on your quest

[baet123]

Hey Vexed,

Welcome to the forums and thanks for sharing your story with us. Really brave of you and you should be proud!

It is excellent that you have gotten clean and turned your life around. I can tell that you are an extremely strong willed person and your experiences have built up great resilience and at just 18 that is amazing!

You mentioned video games. What games do you enjoy playing? I think it would be a great idea to find and meet people with similar interests. There are so many communities/social groups that you can join who love gaming, music and many other hobbies of yours. You may want to consider the we3app and meetup platforms as a way of meeting new people also.

I think you may be a bit too hard on yourself to. We are always our own biggest critics but you have been through a lot and have prevailed mate and that is amazing and so hard to achieve. Relationships will come and you will find the one organically man. Don't stress about that. When we are happy other things tend to fall in place.

I can tell you are a genuine person with so much to give and live for. As we get older our thinking and thought process/priorities change.

Stay strong and positive mate.

Keep us posted.

All the best,

Nick.

[Vexed]

Thanks for your feedback therising and Nick. It's nice to hear that there is people that don't think I'm completely mad, I get the sense of disaproval from most people I know. It was really refreshing hearing a different perspective and I'm feeling so much more confident about giving the things I want to do a shot.

Therising, what you said about being "A lone pioneer" is something that really resonated with me, it gives me that extra little bit of incentive to just make that switch and start doing things. I really like the idea of going on that journey of finding out more without compromising who I am and pretending to like people I don't. I know that on the way I'll meet like-minded people so it all is starting to seem really exciting to me now. And yes I understand what you mean about the meditation seen, I'm very interested in the concept of no-self and completely understand what you mean by the way people assume that people that meditate are nuts because they are simply different from the mass.

Nick, thanks for you insight. I do love playing video games however I use to join community's but feel like it grounded me too much at home. Now I prefer not to get stuck into it as much because I would like to get out more. When you said "When your happy, things just seem to fall into place" this reminds me of those extremly good days I've had were this happens and everything had a nice flow to it.

Thank you both for your kindful and extremely meaningful feedback, it has given me the strength to get out and do more, find out what's out there 🙂