Struggling with parents understanding

[CHCH02]

Hi, I've recently been having some struggles with my parents, as a full time uni student I can find it difficult to get them to understand that a semester can be overwhelming and exhausting. My parents however want me to get another job but I find it difficult because the current job I have has flexible working hours and have a great relationship with my manager that allows me to make adjustment to my roster when uni is on. They just seem to think that I'm not getting enough hours but when I'm not at work I am doing uni work or trying to look after myself do things that fill my cup, it feels like my happiness or contentment is never enough but having to work full time, or in the industry I am studying will make me enough. It gives me a lot of stress and feels like anything I do is hopeless. When we get into arguments about it they don't understand the difficulty I face and how hard it is to find a job in the industry without any academic qualifications or they are casual work without any guarantee hours. Even when I say I'll try and I'll look they say that's not good enough which confuses me. This isn't the first time they do this and they go in cycles for when it seems okay to when its not, so I am constantly on edge and hoping they don't bring it up. I don't know how to make them understand why I won't get a new job, why volunteering is good option and why I need to do things that fill my cup. 

[Bob_22]

Hi CHCH02,

What a difficult situation you're in. You sound so mature in knowing what you need and knowing what is sustainable for you. But it is unfortunate that your parents are not on the same page. I've been in a similar situation also where my father has thought that volunteering is a waste of time which is better spent doing something that's paid. He has also pressured me to work while full time studying and juggling another job.

I would try to emphasise to your parents that you're playing the long game. At that you're current pursuits are things that keep you healthy enough to do well at uni and that volunteering is something that looks good on your resume. Yes you could pick up another job but your uni results would suffer which would make finding a job after graduation even harder. Perhaps coming at it from this angle might be good. You could also try to find scholarships that are available through the uni. You don't have to be successful but simply showing your parents that you're applying for scholarships which are paid might show them enough incentive to keep them off your back so to speak. That's what I did during uni.

Hope that helps and keep us updated.

Bob

[brianbrad115]

Hey CHCH02,

I know the situation's tough, I would like to suggest you Parentology, there are several  blog and articles regarding parenting I hope you find any of the articles relevant to and hope it provides you some kind of assistance.