Young people

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Eeep! When study is overwhelming! - Tips, ideas and coping strategies

replies: 51

Hi! Just thought I’d make a post with some tips for study. I know this is something we can all struggle with. These are all suggestions so feel free to take them or leave them! Hope they help! If you only remember one thing, let it be this: You are important. Your grades don’t define you. (support) Studying can feel isolating but know you’re not alone! Reach out – and find or make friends that can support you along the way. If you’re having trouble finding some friends, join some local communities or clubs! They have lots at Uni’s and even stuff like open days are great ways to meet new people and find out what’s happening. Study groups can also be a great way to meet people and stay motivated. Also remind yourself why you’re doing this; inspirational wallpapers or quotes can be super inspiring. Remember the saying about the oxygen mask? If you can’t take care of yourself first studying will be harder. You are important. You know the drill - water, food, exercise, sleep. Try to stay calm. Stuff that might be able to help include mindfulness, breathing exercises, colouring in, going for walks, journaling, listening to music… If you’re struggling – reach out. See a therapist. Talk to your student counsellor. If you need help, don’t be afraid to ask for it. Also lots of Universities and TAFE offer disability services – which includes conditions like Depression and Anxiety. (study) Find the right study space for you. Maybe that’s in your room, or a coffee shop, or the library. Some people find that noise helps; other people not so much. If you like particular kinds of noise, you can find ‘coffee shop’ noise or ‘rain sounds’ to help concentrate. Make a plan. It helps to do it often so it becomes a habit. Anytime you get a due date, write it down. Maybe you could use a diary, planner, bullet journal or an app. I find the 30/30 App helpful - study for a bit and then break for a bit. You can also get add-on’s for your computer to block sites like Facebook if you find them too distracting. Find out what study technique works for you. Do you like cue cards? Mind maps? Colour coding? Does highlighting stuff help you remember? Charts, maps, diagrams? Recorded lectures? Goals! These are so important – not just writing down deadlines but rewarding yourself for meeting them. Even making smaller goals like ‘read two pages from a textbook’ can help. Break it down into bite size pieces, and don’t forget to reward yourself after!

NEW TO THIS FORUM? Please read this first

replies: 0

The Young People space is a sub-forum within the wider Beyond Blue forum community. 1. Its purpose is to provide members aged 25 and under a space to discuss anxiety, depression and other related life issues. If you are aged over 25, please be mindful that this forum is a space for younger people to connect and provide peer support for each other. 2. Content from this sub-forum is displayed on both the beyondblue and youthbeyondblue websites. 3. Please bear in mind that some members find content relating to suicide and/or self-harm distressing or triggering. If you would like to post on these topics, please do so in our Suicidal Thoughts and Self Harm section. Please see also our guidelines for making posts on this topic. Posts made here in the Young People sub-forum containing content relating to suicide and/or self-harm will be moved. 4. These forums are moderated, so your posts may not appear straightaway. Information on how our system works can be found here. Being familiar with our community rules can help ensure that your posts appear online as quickly as possible. 5. This is a peer support community, and to get the best out of being here we recommend that you 'give support to receive support'. More on how that works here.

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Losing my identity

replies: 4

Henlo, first-year uni student here! This is my first ever post so any response would be appreciated :") . So, over the course of COVID-19, I've taken this period to become more self-aware and tidy up my thoughts as an attempt to be kinder to myself. Through reflecting, one big thing that changed dramatically over the year was my personality. From what I think, I was extraverted in my terms and was more confident and true to myself. But from one point in high school, I found myself constantly (mentally) beating myself up which over the years spiralled into occasional suicidal thoughts, crying myself to sleep and randomly bursting into tears. This is all a norm for me in the present. I've developed unhealthy mindsets at the back of my head which ONLY applied to me. Another issue is that (I don't know what triggers it) I constantly find myself thinking back to past mistakes which makes me feel even more ashamed and makes me burst into tears. The reason why this is all an issue is that I'm a very emotional person, my emotions seem to dictate my actions. However, despite knowing this, I don't know how to fix it and I really really really don't want to be down every time anymore. I don't have any friends that I can trust to talk about this. I absolutely cannot tell my family because they already have enough issues to face. I've considered therapy but I'm not financially stable to have regular sessions, and I don't know if this issue is 'serious' enough to go to therapy. I also hope that this thread can help anyone facing the same/ similar situation that I'm currently going through :"""""")

Why do I change my entire personality so often?

replies: 1

No idea where to post this lol. I've never told anyone I do this but I've noticed that I've done this since I was very young. When I was younger it didn't occur as often but I feel like it's getting more frequent. One that I clearly remember was when I was around 10, I took dancing lessons and there was this girl who always caught my eye. I copied the way she acted and when she and her mum weren’t in the room, I'd go to her bag write down the labels of everything in her bag. I even started to crack my knuckles just because she did. I tried smiling the way she did and dancing the same way. When my dance teacher didn't give me the same opportunities or treated me the same I would get pissed off and wouldn't dance how they wanted me to. I even faked injuries to sit out and watch the girl. (I tried to make sure I wasn't being really creepy lol) After I watched her for a while, I would be so excited to go to school the next day and try everything the girl did with her friends to my school friends. I even tried hugging them more because that's what she did. Nowadays I still do this but the person I choose to mimic will be anyone, for example, someone in a tv show, or someone I see at school. I have lots of friends and get plenty of attention too, so I think I've come to realise that the reason I do this is probably because I see what those people get from other people and I want it too. I get so focused and kind of "obsessed" with the person I choose that it becomes very frustrating and I can't do anything without thinking about them. I find it very hard to get work done without getting the urge to spend hours researching everything I can find about them. I'll be feeling like my whole life revolves around acting like them then I'll wake up the next day bored and just choose someone else to mimic. I have a bunch of other things I do that I feel are kinda odd. Some of my friends also jokingly mention how I seem to hate them one day than love them the next, which I honestly feel is true. If they all suddenly disappeared, I really wouldn’t care. I'm aware that I sound like a shitty friend, but I honestly couldn't care less. If I'm bored, ill occasionally spend a whole day messaging them and giving them attention, then for the next week never respond, purely because its funny watching all my friends panic. There are a bunch more things that people mention or I notice but I don’t have enough words. Do you think this is this normal?

i feel like i'm going nowhere

replies: 9

I hope you're all doing well, drinking your water, getting fresh air. I'll get straight into it. I'm not sure if I'm asking for advice or just someone to listen, I'd appreciate either. I'm nearing the end of year 12 and currently preparing for trials. There's zoom classes, online work, homework, personal study – I don't know which one to prioritise. More than that, my fears of the present and future is leaving me paralysed. I'm constantly wondering, what if I don't get the ATAR I need? What if I sit in the exam room and have no clue where to begin? I'm constantly thinking about death, grieving over loved ones who aren't even gone. I think about how trivial and a waste of time school is – I could be finding myself, learning to love myself, building the skills I want, becoming good at my hobbies. I feel like school has made me lose sight of who I am. And if I can't even make it through school, how could I ever survive the real world? These thoughts make it impossible to study without getting distracted or depressed or anxious. And even when I am super focused, I feel like I'm barely getting anything done. It seems like everyone else finds it so much easier than me. They're focused, they're productive, they understand the content, they have their life together. When my friends tell me they're stressed about school, I secretly feel so upset, because I know they've always been doing so much better than me. I know I'm not the most hard working person, but I feel like this is something beyond laziness. I think I've tried every tip and trick in the book to study more efficiently, but nothing works and I'm the common denominator. I feel so broken and incapable. I've always felt like there's something wrong with me but year 12 has really brought that feeling to the front of my mind. I just want to lay in bed until it all blows over

Recently left job, got broken up with and stressed with grades

replies: 6

Hey all, I’m 21 and it’s currently 7 am and I haven’t slept as I’ve been crying for the whole day… I left my job at the start of the month because I couldn’t balance a full time study load with full time work. I felt so guilty as during the pandemic it seems like the worst thing to do - I’ve been feeling super stressed trying to find other jobs at this time and feel like such a failure I have not been unemployed since I’ve come out of high school and I feel so lost… my grades were not the best while I was working which is why I thought to stop working and focus on studying but during lockdown every day seems so hard, I’m constantly tired even though I don’t do much in my day, I have constant head aches and nights where all I do is stay up and cry. My boyfriend of 6 years broke up with me today as I told him I wasn’t okay with him talking to a girl and would feel more comfortable if he just had blocked her. He has previously cheated on me 2 years ago and I don’t feel comfy with him talking to girls like that anymore… she was sending him screenshots of her dms and all. He told me I was being a psycho and a weird overreactor which is why he previously felt the need to delete conversations even though I don’t check his phone or ask for his passwords. I feel completely hopeless, I feel like I am a psycho and toxic and I just don’t know what my purpose in life is anymore. I have so many exams coming up and I feel super stressed and that I won’t be able to achieve the marks that I want. This month I have not felt happy at all even though I may have had glimpses of it. I know I need to take care of myself and do better but it’s so hard to, even when I’m awake I feel disconnected to everything as if I’m not living in my own body and experiencing my own emotions. Everyone seems to be talking about their future goals and ambitions while it’s so hard for me to get by each day, I honestly feel like I’m a waste to this world and maybe I am victimising myself as my bf says or just idk. I just wanted to come on here and say my thoughts because I genuinely don’t have anyone to talk to and I really don’t want to burden my friends and family with this, or let them know I’m not okay. I think I should definitely seek a therapist but I’m so scared to do so! I feel guilty because I haven’t faced any traumatic experiences yet I am still in this thick bubble of sadness. I honestly wouldn’t know what to talk about or how to start? Sighs.

Im 22 and need help

replies: 4

hello guys, Im 22 Now and i have no idea what i want to do in my life, i have graduated from BBA in International Business, nut now i dont have any idea what should do any help would be appreciated

Derealisation

replies: 5

I have been experiencing derealisation for over ten years straight day after day. I feel like I'm in a dream, everything is 2D, fake and like I am separated from the rest of the world by an invisible wall . Quite often if I put my hand out to touch an object, I expect my hand to go straight through it. I have mentioned it to my doctors and psychologists over the years and they keep saying I'm experiencing this due to the fact that I am always so anxious. Does anyone else experience this?

venting

replies: 2

i've never vented before, and i doubt i will again, but i'm tired and stressed and unhappy and it keeps bothering me. like a lot of people, i hate myself. i hate how i look, how i act, how i sound. i whine and cry by myself about how i'm a failure and sad and then do nothing about it afterwards. i'm not trying to change, even when i should be. i'm not trying to be happy, even when i should be. how much i hate myself feels ingrained into my identity and i don't want to get better. i'm failing in school. i'm leaving my relationships with others to drift off and disappear. i wake up, i sit down, and then for the rest of the day, i'm wasting my hours doing something i don't even find fun. i'm spending my time doing useless things just to distract myself from properly trying to be better or trying to be productive. i say i'm trying to, but really, i'm lying so i get more time to waste. i dwell on people's words and how much impact they have on me and then i cry about it and then i hate myself for doing so. a friend tried to get me to talk to my school's counselor, and i did, only to lie and go on wasting her time. i feel like a burden, i feel like a piece of trash, and i hate myself for doing so. i do hobbies i like, and singing cheers me up, gives me energy to at least try a little, but nobody wants to hear that, so i don't as much as i want to. i think i might hate my parents, my siblings, and i know i probably shouldn't, but i think i still do and i hate myself for that. i think i might even hate some of my friends, even when they haven't done anything wrong. i look online and i read about others like me, but it doesn't comfort me, it makes me feel like a fake, like someone who's trying to pretend to be sad and angsty and edgy. my parents talk to me about how i'm failing at school, how i can't seem to be productive, and then they ask me why i can't do anything about it. i have a fairly easy life. all i need to do is focus on schoolwork and friends and it's so easy but i can't do it properly. there's something wrong with me and i kind of know what it is but i don't want to get better. i know i'm probably going to change when i'm older, but i don't want to. i want to keep on hating myself.

My daughter is struggling

replies: 3

Hello my 13 yr old daughter attempted suicide a month ago. she has experienced quite a lot of friendships go bad. I think she might be highly sensitive inside but she can not come across that way to others. Her confidence has been shattered. best friends turned bad and isolating her at school, spreading nasty rumours, deleting her from group chats etc. nothing so that they get in trouble, but consistent passive aggressive behaviour. i very very close to her and she shares a lot with me, last month a video she made was shared to her school in it she was saying she hated some girls at school and she used their names. It wasn’t a very nice video but she understandably is very upset at their group rejection and lashed out without thinking. The video was shared privately but someone sent it to one of the girls she named, they sent it to the school who sent it to me. I was cross with her well actually more disappointed because she had given the bullies ammunition. Later that evening she attempted suicide. how do I support her - friendship groups are often volatile at this age and I’m so worried she will grow up with mistrust issues. we are a strong family unit so there is support here, but my husband and I are devastated and worried. I am watching her like a hawk. Any advice on what I can do. Her psychiatrist just diagnosed her with depression and ptsd. We don’t know whether medication is the right path. thanks for your time sarah

vent: loss of motivation in HSC year

replies: 13

For the last few years I've gradually been loosing motivation to any school work, homework and I hardly study for exams. Now that I'm in year 12 and currently sitting trials, I realize how bad it has gotten. I've been expressing to friends and family that I have lost all motivation but it's getting worse and worse and every strategy that I try to cope with this doesn't work. My lack of motivation is so overpowering that I feel like I'm just watching my life go by but I can't do anything. I have so many things that I want to achieve, I know which uni course I want to do and I have so many goals in life but I feel so unmotivated to do anything constructive to achieve the future I want, I feel like I'm stuck in a downward spiral. I started off highschool so well, I was getting high marks in everything but now I'm getting around 60% in all my classes (no one knows), which is a big drop and every day I get more and more anxious that I'm not going to be able to get into my uni course. I was diagnosed with a generalized anxiety disorder and panic disorder earlier this year as well and I think my anxiety is making this even worse because I'm stuck between my fear of failing and my lack of motivation. All I want to do each day is just sleep in bed. I can't be bothered to take showers, brush my teeth, eat, go outside but at the same time everyone thinks I've got my life together. A few years ago, I couldn't see myself living to year 12 and now that I made it to year 12, I have no academic motivation and feel like I'm ruining my future. I don't want to let my family down but pressure from them or teachers is not enough to get me motivated like it used to. It's like I don't care anymore but I obviously still do. I don't know what I can do to regain motivation. I've been waiting for it come back but it doesn't seem it is. I'm worried I'll be like this for years. Has anyone had or is having a similar experience? How were you able to regain motivation?

I feel a bit sad

replies: 5

Hi everyone Ive been wondering for a while if I should post something but I didn't really know what to say I guess I've been feeling sad for a while. Recently, I just don't know. I don't know what to do. I'm in my first year of uni and I moved to a different state. I think I'm going to move back home at the end of the year for a few reasons but mainly because I miss my parents. I have social anxiety I guess. I got help last year and things are improving, but I feel like because I had it for so long without realising, it affected me a lot. I don't have friends here or back home. My only friend was my twin sister but we got into an argument and haven't talked for a more than a month. We often argue and that's why I think it's partly good we aren't talking, but I also don't really have anyone else. I call my parents and usually talking to them makes me feel better but it's hard because they're so far away. I have a roommate but it's hard for me to talk to her and I'm not sure I would feel comfortable talking to her about personal stuff anyway. I can't tell if I'm actually having trouble sleeping or if it's my own fault. I wake up feeling okay in terms of mood (just tired) and I don't have problems with motivation much except uni makes me tired a lot. I don't think I feel lonely, but I'm not sure. I don't want to talk to anyone though. I don't really want to try to make friends right now because I don't feel like I'm in the right headspace. Online uni is hard, but I'm kind of relieved I don't have to go out and interact with people in person. I’ve kind of had a sad week because of some things that happened, but it’s too hard to write about. I feel like I should talk to a psychologist or something. The one I went to before is in my home state. When I left she said we could do an online session if I needed it, but I can't really bring myself to ask now. It just seems like too much. I don't know. I feel like I'm so horrible at communicating. I'm sorry. Thanks for taking the time to read this.

Eeep! When study is overwhelming! - Tips, ideas and coping strategies replies: 51

NEW TO THIS FORUM? Please read this first replies: 0

Losing my identity replies: 4

Why do I change my entire personality so often? replies: 1

i feel like i'm going nowhere replies: 9

Recently left job, got broken up with and stressed with grades replies: 6

Im 22 and need help replies: 4

Derealisation replies: 5

venting replies: 2

My daughter is struggling replies: 3

vent: loss of motivation in HSC year replies: 13

I feel a bit sad replies: 5