Young people

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Eeep! When study is overwhelming! - Tips, ideas and coping strategies

replies: 51

Hi! Just thought I’d make a post with some tips for study. I know this is something we can all struggle with. These are all suggestions so feel free to take them or leave them! Hope they help! If you only remember one thing, let it be this: You are important. Your grades don’t define you. (support) Studying can feel isolating but know you’re not alone! Reach out – and find or make friends that can support you along the way. If you’re having trouble finding some friends, join some local communities or clubs! They have lots at Uni’s and even stuff like open days are great ways to meet new people and find out what’s happening. Study groups can also be a great way to meet people and stay motivated. Also remind yourself why you’re doing this; inspirational wallpapers or quotes can be super inspiring. Remember the saying about the oxygen mask? If you can’t take care of yourself first studying will be harder. You are important. You know the drill - water, food, exercise, sleep. Try to stay calm. Stuff that might be able to help include mindfulness, breathing exercises, colouring in, going for walks, journaling, listening to music… If you’re struggling – reach out. See a therapist. Talk to your student counsellor. If you need help, don’t be afraid to ask for it. Also lots of Universities and TAFE offer disability services – which includes conditions like Depression and Anxiety. (study) Find the right study space for you. Maybe that’s in your room, or a coffee shop, or the library. Some people find that noise helps; other people not so much. If you like particular kinds of noise, you can find ‘coffee shop’ noise or ‘rain sounds’ to help concentrate. Make a plan. It helps to do it often so it becomes a habit. Anytime you get a due date, write it down. Maybe you could use a diary, planner, bullet journal or an app. I find the 30/30 App helpful - study for a bit and then break for a bit. You can also get add-on’s for your computer to block sites like Facebook if you find them too distracting. Find out what study technique works for you. Do you like cue cards? Mind maps? Colour coding? Does highlighting stuff help you remember? Charts, maps, diagrams? Recorded lectures? Goals! These are so important – not just writing down deadlines but rewarding yourself for meeting them. Even making smaller goals like ‘read two pages from a textbook’ can help. Break it down into bite size pieces, and don’t forget to reward yourself after!

NEW TO THIS FORUM? Please read this first

replies: 0

The Young People space is a sub-forum within the wider Beyond Blue forum community. 1. Its purpose is to provide members aged 25 and under a space to discuss anxiety, depression and other related life issues. If you are aged over 25, please be mindful that this forum is a space for younger people to connect and provide peer support for each other. 2. Content from this sub-forum is displayed on both the beyondblue and youthbeyondblue websites. 3. Please bear in mind that some members find content relating to suicide and/or self-harm distressing or triggering. If you would like to post on these topics, please do so in our Suicidal Thoughts and Self Harm section. Please see also our guidelines for making posts on this topic. Posts made here in the Young People sub-forum containing content relating to suicide and/or self-harm will be moved. 4. These forums are moderated, so your posts may not appear straightaway. Information on how our system works can be found here. Being familiar with our community rules can help ensure that your posts appear online as quickly as possible. 5. This is a peer support community, and to get the best out of being here we recommend that you 'give support to receive support'. More on how that works here.

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Overwhelming feelings and coming across something Uncomfortable

replies: 11

Hey I’m not a social media kind of person, I have Facebook because my friends use messenger more than texting to contact each other. So that’s the only reason why I have it. I check off Facebook notifications so that don’t annoy me on my phone and something happened that made me feel uncomfortable. When I was checking off a video notification, I randomly scrolled down where it showed random suggestion of what is popular on Facebook at the time. Random stuff and one result came up was a video called "How to Catch a Cheater" where a guy sets up a scenario with a fake model to helps girlfriends see if their boyfriends are cheats. Except it went too far and the model got the guy to cheat. It was really disgusting to see something like that on Facebook. The girlfriend was really upset. I feel bad I ended watching the whole video. I don't support that at all and I can't believe it was on social media like that. What a creep. I blocked it as soon as the video was over so that way it doesn't come up again. But I feel very uncomfortable after seeing that. I wouldn't actively go searching for something like that. I thought it was some reality TV garbage. I’m a bad person? What doesn't help is at the moment I've been having these overwhelming feelings of arousal and reaction to the opposite gender. No matter what the situation is, there is no filter, I feel like I get rooted in the spot and there's a part of my brain that takes over and I'm trying to fight it. I'm finding ways of trying to sort these feelings out and have better control. But when I came across the video by accident, I felt that overwhelming reaction root me to the spot. It makes me feel horrible, I didn't want to watch it but my mind wouldn't let me turn away and I really wanted to turn away. I want to be nothing else but respectfully towards women. So am I a bad person?

Girlfriend and family problems

replies: 4

Hey guys, I'm knew here so I just thought I'd tell my story, give us your thoughts. So I'm 14 years old, I have a gf, 4 sisters, and my mum and stepdad. All of my sisters have moved out I'm the youngest, I haven't seen my real father since I was 9 years old. I rang him one night because I was sick of having to visit him because he is always doing drugs, so I rang him and told him to choose between me and drugs, and he said "I would choose drugs over you anyday". My mum was already seperated from him by then so it was easy for me to not have to see him. My stepdad treats my mum a lot better but after my real father left I have really bad trust issues, so I'm not to sure how to feel about him, even though my mum got married to him this year. He is very strict and doesn't allow me to use my phone after 7:30 which is really hard because my gf is always on her phone at night time and not much during the day so this doesn't give me much time to talk to her. I also can't take my phone out of the loungeroom (which he has a security camera in) because he won't let me. I'm not even allowed to see my gf because both of our parents hate each other so this leaves me and my gf in a very difficult spot. It's also really hard because my gf's mum took my gf's phone so I have no way of contacting her, we also don't even go to the same school and covid has interrupted our relationship because we would generally sneak out to see each other when our parents went to work. This would allow us to see each other otherwise we wouldn't be able to. I've spent nights crying just because I can't see her more often and it's taking away at my mental health and idk how to deal with it. My gf is my everything I've gained so much love for her in our 6 short months together, we have only seen each other twice. At the start of mine and my gf's relationship was our hardest period (because I actually met her at the show and it was basically love at first sight because at the end of that night I knew she was perfect) , because we don't go to the same school all the guys at her school were saying that I was cheating on her and I think that was even harder because I couldn't be there and show her just how much I care, because after all texting can only go so far. All these things on top of; studies, Covid lockdown, work, and my sporting career leaves me in a really difficult situations and sometimes makes me feel hopeless and suicidal.

25 feel like I’m having a qtr life crisis, lacking in hope and motivation to move forward

replies: 13

Hi there I’m a 25 year old male whose single and I feel like I’m slowly hitting a wall each day. Things I used to enjoy don’t faze me anymore, my life seems like a repeating cycle of spending each day working but also replaying the same thoughts of being alone over and over again. I have been trying to meet a partner and it is just a constant source of disappointment, I don’t see any light at the end of the tunnel…online dating apps contribute to this as I do not get any matches at all and when I do it’s fleeting. from the outside looking in it would seem I have a good social network but I do not feel part of anything and never have, I have no outlet and things I would do to distract myself are no longer working I feel lost and do not have a clue who I am or are supposed to be, feelings of complete hopelessness are what I carry each down and I just spend most of the time flat and down although I can mask it around family. I do not have any suicidal tendencies and I would not do anything like that for my family’s sake but I am questioning what is the purpose of everything I do when I just feel inherently alone

Falling apart, meeting a psychiatrist in mid ish October for ADHD and very scared

replies: 3

Hello, I have a first appointment with the second psychiatrist in mid October and I am very scared and anxious. The first time I visited the psychiatrist (not the ones I have booked with in October), it was nothing but an absolute train wreck, she didn't believe I had depression or ADHD. To the point, where she said I should stop being tired and form habits. I am scared and very anxious that the psychiatrist will not believe I have any difficulties in life. I am scared that he will think I am a drug seeker, despite me not ever taking drugs, scared that he will say it's all in my head, scared that he will send me off and not help. I am barely functioning right now, I am constantly tired, cannot think properly, constant brain fog, pacing extensively for several hours, forgetting appointment, forgetting bills, spending money impulsively, relying on my mum to take care of cause i can't, hygiene maintenance, fired from two jobs and withdrawn from uni 7 times. i am not functioning, I was prescribed anti depressants, and they made me feel dumb and shaky. I feel like all the doors in life are closing, all my opportunities closed, I can barely even believe that this me and I am very scared that I will be homeless because of these issues. I want to be functional, I want to be productive, I want to work and study, I want to lead an independent life, but at this moment with this brain, I can't. And I don't think I can handle another psychiatrist appointment where either they say I'm depressed or stop being tired. I have goals I want to achieve, I know what I need to do to achieve them, so why isn't there any psychiatrist who can help me. I can't access psychologists because the ones who specialise in ADHD are booked out or there is no ADHD psychologists. I am fed up and exhausted. The school reports I plan to bring don't indicate any mental health issues, and I can't bring my family over since they don't believe in mental health at all. I'm genuinely afraid that I will be seen as someone who is just another ice addict who wants ADHD meds. Trying to access an adult ADHD assessment as a 21 yr old makes me feel like I'm being treated as a criminal or drug addict by the whole mental health system. I am willing to undergo randomised drug testing if it means the psychiatrist can properly evaluate me when it comes to assessment. I don't want to live like this, I don't want to be a burden, pacing extensively for hours because you can't sit still is not depression

Feeling ashamed to be a White Male

replies: 32

I'm a male myself and I have NEVER EVER been sexist or disrespectful or racist to anyone ever. Not now, not EVER!!!! But I feel like what ever I come across in media, it feels like all I hear is "White Males Are Bad". When I watch shows like Charmed and I come across certain scenes where Males are regarded as bad people, it makes me feel uncomfortable. You got shows like the Neighbourhood sitcom that I came across where they cover racism where a black guy gets put in a jail cell for being black which is so NOT fair whatsoever. And the main lead says the police system is working the right way for white guys but not black people or any other culture. And white people will never understand whatsoever the pain other people go through. And they whole policeman beating up a black guy which leads to the black lives matter movement. I feel like I'm ashamed of all these bad things happening even though I have done NOTHING to do with anything of that bad stuff. But because of the long history I hear of white males doing bad stuff, I feel like I have to be responsible for that or feel as though it's my fault. It may sound silly but I feel like all I hear is White Males are bad and cause problems. I feel like if I see someone in pain or needs help, I want to be able to help or show support no matter what their colour or background is. We are all still human beings after all and all this dumb bad stuff like racism and sexism shouldn't be around any more. Nor should it have existed in the first place. I hate the fact that bad stuff like this still happens and I feel helpless to see it pop up in media or fiction. I felt ashamed to be a white male so many times and my friend says I shouldn't, all that stuff isn't my fault and I shouldn't take on the responsibility of other people's actions that I don't even know. Focus on my own actions and what I can change. But because all that stuff happens, I feel like I get stuffed into a category where I'm a white male and are automatically the enemy. And no matter how hard I try to help and try to show that not all white males are bad, I feel like I can't make a positive difference. Like I'm powerless to make a positive change so people can see not all white males are bad people, or even white people in general. I want to be able to try and understand what others are going through as well as try to stop bad things from happening.

I have no motivation for anything

replies: 5

I’m completely unable to do anything i don’t enjoy. I have zero motivation to do any of my school work. There’s not really much to say here i guess. I’m not sure what to do about it because i don’t even have the motivation to try to fix it. I’ve tried things like alarms and calendars almost hoping that it would stress me out and i would do my work. Nothing has worked. I just ignore the alarms, they’re more of a nuisance than a reminder. I don’t even pay attention to my calendar. I couldn’t care less if i tried. I’ve ended up in detention before because i’ve been late to school so many times due to not caring about it. I’m going into year 11 next year and i’m at a total loss. Please help.

Losing my identity

replies: 4

Henlo, first-year uni student here! This is my first ever post so any response would be appreciated :") . So, over the course of COVID-19, I've taken this period to become more self-aware and tidy up my thoughts as an attempt to be kinder to myself. Through reflecting, one big thing that changed dramatically over the year was my personality. From what I think, I was extraverted in my terms and was more confident and true to myself. But from one point in high school, I found myself constantly (mentally) beating myself up which over the years spiralled into occasional suicidal thoughts, crying myself to sleep and randomly bursting into tears. This is all a norm for me in the present. I've developed unhealthy mindsets at the back of my head which ONLY applied to me. Another issue is that (I don't know what triggers it) I constantly find myself thinking back to past mistakes which makes me feel even more ashamed and makes me burst into tears. The reason why this is all an issue is that I'm a very emotional person, my emotions seem to dictate my actions. However, despite knowing this, I don't know how to fix it and I really really really don't want to be down every time anymore. I don't have any friends that I can trust to talk about this. I absolutely cannot tell my family because they already have enough issues to face. I've considered therapy but I'm not financially stable to have regular sessions, and I don't know if this issue is 'serious' enough to go to therapy. I also hope that this thread can help anyone facing the same/ similar situation that I'm currently going through :"""""")

Why do I change my entire personality so often?

replies: 1

No idea where to post this lol. I've never told anyone I do this but I've noticed that I've done this since I was very young. When I was younger it didn't occur as often but I feel like it's getting more frequent. One that I clearly remember was when I was around 10, I took dancing lessons and there was this girl who always caught my eye. I copied the way she acted and when she and her mum weren’t in the room, I'd go to her bag write down the labels of everything in her bag. I even started to crack my knuckles just because she did. I tried smiling the way she did and dancing the same way. When my dance teacher didn't give me the same opportunities or treated me the same I would get pissed off and wouldn't dance how they wanted me to. I even faked injuries to sit out and watch the girl. (I tried to make sure I wasn't being really creepy lol) After I watched her for a while, I would be so excited to go to school the next day and try everything the girl did with her friends to my school friends. I even tried hugging them more because that's what she did. Nowadays I still do this but the person I choose to mimic will be anyone, for example, someone in a tv show, or someone I see at school. I have lots of friends and get plenty of attention too, so I think I've come to realise that the reason I do this is probably because I see what those people get from other people and I want it too. I get so focused and kind of "obsessed" with the person I choose that it becomes very frustrating and I can't do anything without thinking about them. I find it very hard to get work done without getting the urge to spend hours researching everything I can find about them. I'll be feeling like my whole life revolves around acting like them then I'll wake up the next day bored and just choose someone else to mimic. I have a bunch of other things I do that I feel are kinda odd. Some of my friends also jokingly mention how I seem to hate them one day than love them the next, which I honestly feel is true. If they all suddenly disappeared, I really wouldn’t care. I'm aware that I sound like a shitty friend, but I honestly couldn't care less. If I'm bored, ill occasionally spend a whole day messaging them and giving them attention, then for the next week never respond, purely because its funny watching all my friends panic. There are a bunch more things that people mention or I notice but I don’t have enough words. Do you think this is this normal?

i feel like i'm going nowhere

replies: 9

I hope you're all doing well, drinking your water, getting fresh air. I'll get straight into it. I'm not sure if I'm asking for advice or just someone to listen, I'd appreciate either. I'm nearing the end of year 12 and currently preparing for trials. There's zoom classes, online work, homework, personal study – I don't know which one to prioritise. More than that, my fears of the present and future is leaving me paralysed. I'm constantly wondering, what if I don't get the ATAR I need? What if I sit in the exam room and have no clue where to begin? I'm constantly thinking about death, grieving over loved ones who aren't even gone. I think about how trivial and a waste of time school is – I could be finding myself, learning to love myself, building the skills I want, becoming good at my hobbies. I feel like school has made me lose sight of who I am. And if I can't even make it through school, how could I ever survive the real world? These thoughts make it impossible to study without getting distracted or depressed or anxious. And even when I am super focused, I feel like I'm barely getting anything done. It seems like everyone else finds it so much easier than me. They're focused, they're productive, they understand the content, they have their life together. When my friends tell me they're stressed about school, I secretly feel so upset, because I know they've always been doing so much better than me. I know I'm not the most hard working person, but I feel like this is something beyond laziness. I think I've tried every tip and trick in the book to study more efficiently, but nothing works and I'm the common denominator. I feel so broken and incapable. I've always felt like there's something wrong with me but year 12 has really brought that feeling to the front of my mind. I just want to lay in bed until it all blows over

Recently left job, got broken up with and stressed with grades

replies: 6

Hey all, I’m 21 and it’s currently 7 am and I haven’t slept as I’ve been crying for the whole day… I left my job at the start of the month because I couldn’t balance a full time study load with full time work. I felt so guilty as during the pandemic it seems like the worst thing to do - I’ve been feeling super stressed trying to find other jobs at this time and feel like such a failure I have not been unemployed since I’ve come out of high school and I feel so lost… my grades were not the best while I was working which is why I thought to stop working and focus on studying but during lockdown every day seems so hard, I’m constantly tired even though I don’t do much in my day, I have constant head aches and nights where all I do is stay up and cry. My boyfriend of 6 years broke up with me today as I told him I wasn’t okay with him talking to a girl and would feel more comfortable if he just had blocked her. He has previously cheated on me 2 years ago and I don’t feel comfy with him talking to girls like that anymore… she was sending him screenshots of her dms and all. He told me I was being a psycho and a weird overreactor which is why he previously felt the need to delete conversations even though I don’t check his phone or ask for his passwords. I feel completely hopeless, I feel like I am a psycho and toxic and I just don’t know what my purpose in life is anymore. I have so many exams coming up and I feel super stressed and that I won’t be able to achieve the marks that I want. This month I have not felt happy at all even though I may have had glimpses of it. I know I need to take care of myself and do better but it’s so hard to, even when I’m awake I feel disconnected to everything as if I’m not living in my own body and experiencing my own emotions. Everyone seems to be talking about their future goals and ambitions while it’s so hard for me to get by each day, I honestly feel like I’m a waste to this world and maybe I am victimising myself as my bf says or just idk. I just wanted to come on here and say my thoughts because I genuinely don’t have anyone to talk to and I really don’t want to burden my friends and family with this, or let them know I’m not okay. I think I should definitely seek a therapist but I’m so scared to do so! I feel guilty because I haven’t faced any traumatic experiences yet I am still in this thick bubble of sadness. I honestly wouldn’t know what to talk about or how to start? Sighs.

Eeep! When study is overwhelming! - Tips, ideas and coping strategies replies: 51

NEW TO THIS FORUM? Please read this first replies: 0

Overwhelming feelings and coming across something Uncomfortable replies: 11

Girlfriend and family problems replies: 4

25 feel like I’m having a qtr life crisis, lacking in hope and motivation to move forward replies: 13

Falling apart, meeting a psychiatrist in mid ish October for ADHD and very scared replies: 3

Feeling ashamed to be a White Male replies: 32

I have no motivation for anything replies: 5

Losing my identity replies: 4

Why do I change my entire personality so often? replies: 1

i feel like i'm going nowhere replies: 9

Recently left job, got broken up with and stressed with grades replies: 6