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I feel so numb

Community Member
One of my very good friends just said he liked me and really wanted to let me know so that the friendship doesn't whittle down for any unexplained reasons. I'm very happy that he's said this because he's still choosing to be my friend and i expressed that I am so thankful for that and that's what he wants too. I am actually so happy to have him in my life and im so happy that we can talk everyday and just maintain the level of pleasure we have when we're around each other.

However it was very hard to turn him down after reading that. I have a crush on him too but decided not to date him because he's my brother's friend. I was asking on advice before all this happened on whether or not I pursue him but my Dad advised that I don't because of the weird tie. My mum found it normal and that I can date him if I wanted to. I initially thought not because I thought it was weird at first...but then my feelings became stronger.

After he expressed how he felt and how I felt, I feel so numb. But I guess I know this is a good decision (I think) even though when I'm high on my feelings, I want to date him so bad. But when I'm not high on feelings, I still tell myself to turn him down. I just hope we can still be exactly how we are after this. I really like being around him so much and he's helped me so much. We've been friends for 2 years but he's known me since I was little. I just feel so hurt that I had to do that.
3 Replies 3

Dear angrylozenger

Welcome to the forums and thank you for being a member of this open, kind and helpful community.

We can hear from your post that you are feeling very conflicted at the moment.  It's important to give yourself the time you need and to look after yourself. 

If ever you need to talk we are here 24/7 on 1300 22 4636 or via our webchat.  Our team who answer the phones are ready to have a supportive and non-judgmental chat whenever you need it.
We are here to help and support you through this journey.  Thank you again for joining this community, we hope that you can join other conversations that resonate with you and read about other users and their journey to better mental health.


Sophie M

Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Hello angrylozenger, the feeling you both have for each other is wonderful and even if he is a friend of your brothers, doesn't necessarily matter, because there are 2 options, he will remain quiet and not tell anyone what the two of you do, or even if he tells your brother, then nothing will be said, if both of them tell other people, then your privacy has been broken and perhaps trust has been denied.

Go out with him and ask him to keep everything between the two of you a secret, even from your brother, because if this happens, your trust has been broken.

Enjoy yourselves.


Community Champion
Community Champion

Hi there,

It is clear you are feeling conflicted at the moment. However, you cannot control your feelings. Maybe you can go on one date and see what happens?

Your brother will surely understand and be supportive of you guys if you decide to go out ? Yes, it can complicate things down the track but also think about what you could miss out on if you don't take this chance.

All the best

Jaz xx