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How to get out of a toxic situation

Community Member

I am currently 22 , and still living with my extremely toxic and verbally abusive mother. I really want to move out but I have no idea where to start, I’ve looked at places online but I can’t find anywhere that is suitable for me and my cat that is both easy for me to get to and in my price range. I don’t have a license which makes things harder as I can’t just live out of my car nor do i have any friends or family that would take me in.

can someone please give me advice on how to get out of this situation?

4 Replies 4

Dear Atrociousace,

  Firstly, welcome to the forums we are so glad that you found your way to this supportive and welcoming community. We hope that you find ideas, options and support from the shared experiences and knowledge of all our members. We can hear from your post that you have been struggling with your mum and a toxic relationship. We hope you acknowledge the effort and fortitude you have displayed just persevering despite feeling trapped with nowhere to go. We would strongly urge that you contact 1800RESPECT. They offer 24/7 confidential information, counselling and support for people impacted by family violence and abuse. The lovely supportive counsellors have a lot of experience offering advice and support to anyone who has been through trauma like this. You can contact them on 1800 737 732 or visit  https://www.1800respect.org.au/ .

Please note, it’s worth remembering that immediate support is not available via the forums. Some days are slower than others, and some topics hit home with people more than others. The number of replies received will always vary from day to day.
If you need more immediate contact, please use our support service either via phone 1300 22 4636 or web chat: http://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/get-immediate-support


Sophie M

Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Hello Atrociousace, if your mother is treating like you've said, then it's best for you to move away, which you understand.

If you are at uni, which'm unsure of, but if so, they will have a notice board available to everybody, where people may be wanting a person to move in with them and share a flat/house or likewise a shopping centre could also have a board where people can put notices on, asking for the same.

You can still put a notice on these boards yourself and hopefully you'll get a response.

If you could please give us a few more details then we can help you further.


Spl spl
Community Member

Hi atrociousace,

Thanks for reaching out, its good to see you've decided to leave that toxic situation. That's the first step. As for the next, it's a bit tricky say if we dont know whether you are at school or work etc. You don't have to say if it makes you feel uncomfortable or anything though.

When it comes to toxic situations, it can get a bit complicated. But my other main question is, do you want to leave but stay in contact with her, or leave completely? Even if you move away, she could still be verbally abusive to you over the phone, for example. So I think the answer to that would help as well in my opinion.

Mark Z.
Community Champion
Community Champion

Hi atrociousace,

Sophie has the right answer, for family violence or abuse, feel free to contract 1800respect any time.

Alternatively, there're some government support resources. For example, if you're in Victoria, check this website: https://services.dffh.vic.gov.au/homelessness-and-family-violence