starting to struggle with relationship

[will_awt]

im 27 and have suffered from anxiety and depression for about 12 years now. im on medication.

8 months ago i started seeing this awesome chick i work with in remote australia, things have been so great i have been head over heels for her in love with the down to earth supportive person she is ,until a couple weeks ago i got major anxiety which has i think gone into mild depression all about the relationship. i have been flat out at work and it all of a sudden just hit me . im certain i love her and want to be with her im just not feeling it all of a sudden and it’s really starting to get to me , i sort of dont want to be around anyone to be true but because im feeling it toward her breaks my heart.

she is aware of my circumstances/issues and is completely fine and just wants to help and support in any way .

just wondering has anyone else been through this with a loved one ?? im sure it will pass soon but maybe some techniques will help me as im not going down without a fight . thanks people ☺️

[will_awt]

hey geoff

thanks for that , maybe that contributed to how im feeling now and ehy i feel so down. im a very gentle person and thoughts scare me like that i have had them for a while now and never come close to what they are .

im hoping the clouds lift and things go back to the way they were before! and try to take something away from each experience.

cheers for that input geoff

[Terry73]

Hi Will,

I been where your at too, but I know I handled it very wrong in the past, so I hope you are able to avoid the problems I faced. Here are some small things I learned, and I hope they help you.

You are working your way to move in together, that is adding stress to you, but it can be worked out, there will be a period of time where you both need to adjust to each others schedules and mannerisms, so make sure you are able to understand hers and help where you can, she should return the same to you, that makes it much easier on you both.

Try and learn to leave work at work, its ok to say what you have done and such, but try and keep it as far out of the private life as you can by simply sticking to basics. If there is a problem at work, leave it at there, same as for at work, if there is a problem at home, use work to be able to give you a time out to clear your thoughts, so when you come back home, you can have a solution ready.

Lastly, dont stop dating her, take her out when you can, even if for a simple drive to a cafe for a coffee, for no reason. This will help you be able to start to relax together, something that can help combat your (and her) stress levels.

Thats some of what I learned, it may seem all just generic, but it really is the best advice I have been given in the past, and it helped greatly.

Terry

[will_awt]

hi terry

thanks for that information

we work on the same site at work and sleep in accommodation blocks on the mine camp. then see each other on our breaks . it’s so funny how i feel like bolting from it all because im scared all of a sudden to not knowing what i want but ill still cuddle with her all night long, i guess what im saying is i wouldn’t be doing that if i didn’t like her or want to be with her.

i suppose i work 2 weeks at a time so that might be messing up things in general. The moving in together is stressing me because i feel like im going to let her down it’s what i have wanted for so long but now am anxious and worried about it happening??

will

[therising]

Hi Will

Sounds like you have a couple of wonderful guiding lights in your life (girlfriend and psychologist). Having people light the path we're on is a definite bonus when it comes to gaining greater clarity.

Try to remain aware of how you're identifying yourself whilst you're overcoming the anxiety Will. You're not incapable or helpless but capable and pro-active; don't undersell yourself - after all, you are determined in managing to deal with some pretty intense chemistry in that lab up there in your head. By the way, keep in mind that self-doubt is powerful food for depression, it feasts and grows so remain conscious of your internal dialogue in order to starve the beast.

Something else to keep in mind involves all the things you are giving to your girlfriend. You are giving her the companionship of a sensitive guy (something longed for by most women) and the experience of gaining greater understanding regarding the challenges of mental dis-ease, among other things. Many people are not even willing to acknowledge the challenges of anxiety or depression, let alone help another through such challenges whilst they educate their own self. She is growing and evolving in a variety of ways because of you, which makes you both wonderful, powerful and valuable giving people. Remember, in the desire for each other's evolution mutual love is found. We all grow and evolve in often unseen and unique ways.

If it's of any help in alleviating doubt, you can see moving in with each other as simply being an exercise in evolving together under one roof and not two. Such an exercise may just add another light to your path.

Take care

[will_awt]

hi the rising

so im in love for 8 months and then all of a sudden a flick of the switch im anxious depressed and feeling like it’s all to much.

i certainly don’t want to break up with her as we have made all these plans to move in together so she is actually relying on me for a roof over her head , i want to be with her but i don’t want her wasting her time. i feel i should ride this out for sure however and see if the anxiety and depression lifts and it goes back to the way it was before this episode.

alex