Pictures

[Guesy_839]

Hey guys,

So school photos are coming up, and I can't do it.

In a more simpler terms, there was an incident last year. I had a breakdown, they forced me to smile for my individual photos. They took a picture of me, I asked them not to use it. They did, and it completely destroyed me for about a month. I know it's the law, but it hurts, and it still does, and I've had trust issues after that.

My mum said I have to have photos, or a few possessions of mine will be given away. I hate that kind of system, it makes me uncomfortable. It also kind of bugs me that I don't really have friends at school as well, so I can't have a "pep talk" before it.

I'm also just plain anxious because records as well, because the school went as far to ban my preferred name because it isn't formal, and I'm uncomfortable with records anyways because I've had other issues.

My mind is a mess, what do I do?

Sierra

(P.S, photos are Thursday by the way)

[Doolhof]

Hi Sierra,

I would like to suggest that you call the beyondblue help line and have a chat with a support worker. They may be able to make some suggestions to you and put you in touch with other services that may be suitable for you.

Hope you are able to sort this out. Can you have a talk to a teacher at school or a school counsellor?

Dools

[Guesy_839]

Hi Dools,

I'd love to be able to, but I don't have all of the required information to be able to enter. Like a phone number that isn't someone else's

Sierra

[romantic_thi3f]

Hi Sierra,

Thanks for your post and I'm sorry that you're struggling with this!

I just wanted to clarify first - is it that you hate school pictures because it gives you a lot of anxiety or are there other issues going on (like protection)? You said that you were uncomfortable with the records so I was just curious about why that is.

It's true that school photos are compulsory, but at the same time there are always exceptions to that rule (like protection / identifying information). If it's the second one, it would be worth having a chat to your teacher about it.

I personally struggled a lot with any sorts of photos being taken as I was incredibly self-conscious. The things that got me through was counting down until it was over. Once the photo is taken - that's it. There's nothing else you have to do.

I wonder too - if you did have friends that gave you a pep talk, what might they say to you?

and finally - if you don't have a phone number, that's okay. There are other ways to have a chat to people. KHL (Kids Help Line) is for anyone under the age of 25, and they have both email and web-chat. You can find the link at the bottom of this page - https://kidshelpline.com.au/get-help/phone-counselling Talking on the phone is the quickest way to get to someone but web-chat is the second fastest.

[Doolhof]

Hi Sierra,

I'm a little confused about the phone number issue. Are you saying that you are only able to call certain numbers on your telephone or that you don't have the number for beyondblue as the number is 1300 22 4636.

Have you made enquiries at school to see if there is someone there you can talk to?

Are you also saying that the school is not recognising a name that you preferred to be called by which is not your actual name? If so, have you spoken to someone at school about that issue? I remember my niece telling me she had to use the name on her birth certificate not the name she liked for herself.

It does not mean the school is rejecting you in any way, they have to adhere to rules and regulations.

Would you like to share more about how you are feeling here? I find that writing things down helps gets those negative thoughts out of my mind!

I often find the time leading up to an event feels worse than the actual event, then I wonder what on earth I made all the fuss about! Hope you are doing okay!

Cheers from Dools

[Guesy_839]

Hi Dools,

For the phone number clarification, you need a number for the online chat thing. I don't have one. I'd use the email system, but that just doesn't work for me.

Sierra is my preferred name (Real name Georgina), and I'd like to change my last name as well. I don't like my dad anyways (It's his). The school banned my preferred name, and my school is a private Christian school. They don't accept those. Sierra just isn't formal enough.

In terms of feelings, I'm expecting to break down like last year, while everyone stares. I'm okay with it, my school is used to me breaking down. Even while writing this I broke down. Neat. I stopped feeling anxious, but I'm not sure if it's because I suppressed my feelings, or they stopped by itself. Literally just now (I'm in school right now), a teacher told me they someone tried to ask about the name thing, but I know that wasn't true because I would've been informed.

My thoughts get messy. I'm sorry if you can't understand.

Sierra

[Guesy_839]

Hi romantic th3if

Well, I hate photos because broken trust, records and people making fun of me early on. As the 6 year old with short hair, people were mean. But kids can have their mean side, I'm not mad about that now.

More reasoning with the records is because I'm afraid of being tracked down, and when I grow up, I want to move to a different state and change my name to get away from people who hurt me. I also was picked on for bearing my legal name. I had friends who respected me, but people at school wouldn't have it. I've been Sierra for 6 years now. Also I used to have these little people inside my mind who used to tell me how bad I was. One of them was a variation of "me", and she was called Georgina. I called them hallucinations, although it was probably me not being able to control my thoughts. Also I just really hate the name Georgina. It feels ugly and weird. No offence to any Georgia's and Georgina's.

Unfortunately, the photos are used everywhere, and put on to a portal people have access to. School ID's, profile pictures. No escape. I also don't smile much anymore, and I look like a human blobfish. That's cool with me though.

Sierra

[LavenderTea]

Hey Sierra,

Photos are today I'm assuming. Wishing you all the best, you can always vent here afterwards.

P.s. a human blobfish does actually sounds pretty cool. Sometimes I feel like a gummy shark when I smile in photos :'D ..

LT.

[Guesy_839]

Hi Lavender,

Photos were today.

My favorite teacher got me through it. My bestie who doesn't go to my school reminded my of my favorite poem, about aspen trees.

All is well.

Sierra

[LavenderTea]

Hey Sierra,

That's wonderful to hear... what a trooper! You rock!

I'd love to hear it 🙂

Great work.

LT.