Something new..

[C_ainsley]

Hi

this this is something completely different for me but I just need to try something new  

at the age of 12 I was sexually abused until i was 13 and since have been through a long and tiring court case for 3 years to get little result  

during this time I saw myself slipping away I let myself go, I turned to things that I thought could help such as drugs alcohol and self harm  in this time I've noticed I also let go of my family, I feel like they gave up on me  to

I noticed how much this started to control my life so I tried hard to do something with myself. I started to try in school again, I stopped doing those things but I never got my family back the way we where. 

Lately I see myself fading away again I feel like I'm letting myself turn into the person I was a year ago, I've tried so hard but I feel like I have no control over myself  

I've tried to talk to my family and so has my psychologist of 3 years but they ignore the facts  

I just feel so empty which is why I came here  

[white knight]

Hi CA, welcome again here.

I know the secret of your future. It is inside you. Nothing to do with family attitudes, nothing to do with friends and the challenges you have with them. You. Its in ..you

Deep inside you there is an inner self. This inner self allows us to survive. It pulls us back from the brink, from destroying ourselves. It is where pride lives, dignity and self loving. These things take a battering during times of stress and hurt. You are no different. So what can we do to restore this?

The first think IMO is to accept you can never be the way your life would have been, without the abuse. You wont ever recover from that ordeal. You fought bravely against that abuser and although you didnt get the ideal result, you did fight and that is your honour. Well done. I'm really proud of people like you. Now try to move on, accepting that there will be relapses when your mind returns to that period in your life. Allow it to go there, then move on the best you can again and again..

So what is this "inner self" I speak of. Well I started looking for my inner self 25 years ago. A neighbour introduced me to some recordings of a man called Prem Rawat otherwise known as Maharaji. He has several Youtube videos and my favourites are "sunset" and "the perfect instrument". It is not religion. Seek them out and play them. He is so wise yet so logical.

Maharaji also teaches the inner self, that "you are the only person in the world that can use the key to your inner heart". It cant do any harm listening to Youtube videos. But it is only a tool, to steer you in the right direction where you can feel comfort and experience joy again.

Dig deep. There is an amazing person inside you that is busting to get out. Dont give that abuser any more of your life. Any thoughts about him are taking up space in your mind....dont give it to him.

I'd suggest locating a local relaxation class as well.

Take care.   Tony WK

[Chris_B]

Hi guys, I've locked this thread as it is almost identical in content to this one here. Please feel free to continue this conversation in the original thread.