Something new..

[C_ainsley]

Hi,

im 16 years old and struggling which is why I've turned to here  

the past 3 years I've tried to pick myself up and make something of myself and try make my family proud  

at the age of 12 I was sexually abused for a year and have been through a long court case the past 3 years  

I tried so hard to keep it together but I saw myself slipping away to drugs alcohol and self harm  I saw how much it started to take over my life and worked on it I knuckled down at school and I tried to form a relationship with my friends and family again

but lately I see myself going nowhere I feel like I'm nothing. I've tried to talk to my family but they don't listen my psychologist also tries but they won't listen. I see myself letting go again but no matter how hard I try to fix it it never goes away  

I just don't know what to do or if this is normal

which is why I've turned to this option to get the opinion of others that my be experiencing the same/similar things  

[White_Rose]

Dear C.ainsley

Welcome to Beyond Blue. I am so sad to read your story and I offer my deepest sympathy on going through such a dreadful experience. I have never been in such a situation so I cannot give a first hand answer. I know others who write on this site have endured such an event and I hope they will respond to you.

I am a grandmother, four children and eight grandchildren. I cannot imagine your pain and I am at a loss to understand your family. I know that if you were my child I would be helping you as much as possible, but it is also possible that your family feel they are helping by not responding to you. They may think the sooner you 'forget it" the happier you will be. But despite my words I am not convinced.

Do your parents see your GP very often? I ask because If your parents need to go to the doctor perhaps he/she could have a word with them. This will mean you need to make an appointment and explain your difficulty and give the doctor permission to talk to your parents. Also, can you ask the psychologist to send a report to the doctor to keep him/her in the loop?

What makes you think your family are not proud of you? I am not a psychologist and quite probably your psych has already asked you this question. I am asking because I'm not sure if you want them to be proud that you have got your life back on track with school work or that you are recovering from the abuse. I would be proud of you doing both or either.

Can you talk to your psych about ways to engage your family, in particular your parents. How to bring up the subject and when, what to say and how to keep yourself from becoming distressed. I far as I know BB does not have any literature on child abuse although there is information about self-harm. Click on The Facts at the top of the page and go from there.

Beyond Blue has  24/7 phone line for people who are distressed or need help. Phone them on 1300 22 4636. Have you tried The Kids Helpline? There is a web page and phone 1800 55 1800. This is a service for people aged 5-25. I imagine they would have materials available on sexual abuse.

I am suggesting these alternatives so you can give your family information about your ordeal.  It has occurred to me that your family may blame you for being abused, especially if the abuser is a family member. You do not need to tell us here. We are not here to pry into painful areas. Sometimes the abused person is blamed and this causes all sorts of additional problems.

I hope you can reply

Mary

[Pixie15]

Hi C.ainsley,

Welcome to the BB forums.

I am a parent myself and I agree with what White Rose has written. This situation would be really hard for everyone to deal with. I think that there may be opportunity for family counselling and you might want to talk to your doctor and psychologist about that.

You are only 16. You need supportive adults in your life. Drugs, alcohol and self harm are not positive ways to deal with what is happening in your life. You need to get help to find better ways of coping. If your immediate family are not helpful to you have and aunt or uncle or grandparent who you may be able to get some support from.

I can see why you might want to connect with other young people. Possibly though it may be a difficult topic to discuss on the forum here. If you have a look a the community rules it is not recommended for people to discuss things that they would not talk about with a stranger in another situation. 

Have you tried to find alternate ways to connect to young people? You could talk to your doctor or psychologist about support groups and check out your community and health center and maybe your school counselor if you have one.

I hope you can get some help. Please keep posting here if it helps you. 

Grateful.