I wanna have best friend. Feel lonely

Xeroxpie · ‎09-03-2015

Hi everyone

I have problem with myself. I really wanna change everything, I am struggling several years to make friends. In some situations , I feel worthless and lack of confidence. I get anxiety when I am with my friends in our group that makes me become quiet. I afraid to say something or give my opinions. It's difficult to express myself. I wanna be free from anxiety. Now, I have several friends but I am afraid to be my own self. I am afraid to be closer with them. I am afraid that they will not accept me as who I am.

All these years I live in fears about what others will say about me. Every time I try to be my true self all those negative thoughts appears. I don'trust people easily. I only can be my true self with my family. I feel lonely even if now I have several friends from my foundation (pre-uni ), church, and house mates. I wanna have best friend who can accept me and encourage me to be better. I have 4 close friends but I am still afraid of myself. I don't want to get hurt again . I don't know can I trust them to be my best friend.

Please give me some advices 🙂

CrashCoyote · ‎11-03-2015

Hi Xeroxpie,

I am writing to you because you have not had a reply to your post yet. I don't know why that is for other volunteers on here, but in my case I do not feel I can advise you based on what you have written. Maybe others feel the same.

It sounds like you have friends and are socially capable, yet a close friend eludes you. Perhaps you have one and do not know it? I am really just speculating.

The reason I have posted is to ask you to contact the Web Chat or the 1300 number. I think your situation is more complex than can be explained in a dozen lines of text.

Let me know how you go.

Kind regards, John.

geoff · ‎11-03-2015

dear Xeroxpie, thanks for having the courage to post a comment on the BB site, because sometimes it becomes quite daunting for a new person, but well done.

Can I ask you are you comfortable talking to someone when it's not a face to face discussion, and it seems that somewhere before you have been let down badly by someone close to you, but I don't think it's anyone in your family, although I maybe wrong.

When people become anxious their trust in people diminishes and their self esteem drops away and so does their confidence.

There are some sites that I would like you to see and if you google this may be of assistance, 'free courses for gaining trust'.

You mention that 'you don't want to get hurt again', and that's quite understandable because that's definitely not want any of us want to happen as most of us have had to struggle with this.

I am just wondering whether or not you are seeing a doctor and I know it maybe confronting for you, but these people are there to help all of us.

I hope that you can get back to us. Geoff.

Xeroxpie · ‎16-03-2015

@CrashCoyote and @geoff

Thanks for your reply and advices . I called 1300 number and I feel more relax

I had bad experience, but now I let it go.

Doolhof · ‎16-03-2015

Hi Xeroxpie,

It is great you were able to give the phone numbers a try and have been able to chat with someone to help sort out your thoughts and emotions.

Sometimes we really need to let go of the negative stuff that happens and concentrate more on the positive and good things in life.

It sounds to me like you have some wonderful people around you already! Enjoy the friendships and relationships you have now. Occasionally we don't even realise how good we have life.

At the end of each day or each week, think about all the good times you have had with family, friends from Church, your house mates and who ever else you meet in the week and you will be surprised at how blessed you actually are!

Cheers for now, from Mrs. Dools