Can anyone relate?

[TashK]

I don't know what to do, i just need someone to say "yeah i understand or yeah that makes total sense"

I don't know if I'm depressed because I've never been medically diagnosed but i feel like i am. I cant go a day without being the happiest then all of sudden being sooo sad, it sucks. I will tell my best friend about how upset i was the night before and she will look at me like I'm some crazy lunatic because i was so happy yesterday and then depressed at night! I told my mum how I felt and we have always been close but the last 6 months its been difficult to open up about some things, so when i told her about how happy i can be then be so sad, she just said "you have to believe in god and not accept it" (she is very religious btw) I hate it because it doesn't give me an answer! I need an answer, i so badly want to go to the doctor and tell her how i feel but i cant. 

What I'm trying to ask is if anyone has any tips on how to get through this or just convince my mum to actually think about how i really feel right at this second, or even just someone who can relate!! I have been through some crazy super tough times in my life and that has triggered depressing times that have included self harm and suicidal thoughts, but for those similar emotions to just come out of nowhere worries me. I want help i do! 

Can anyone please relate?

[White_Rose]

Dear Tash

Welcome to the Beyond Blue forum. It's good that you can write about your concerns in this safe environment.

What you have written makes total sense to me. I am not qualified to make a diagnosis about you.  You need to see your doctor about this. Having said this I can relate to much of what you have written.

It may help you to complete the one minute depression checklist on the home page. It's not a diagnostic tool but will give you some idea of how usual your feelings are. You can then tell you doctor about the results.

May I ask how old you are? Not that it makes any difference about whether or not you are depressed but there may be other factors to consider if you are still at school.

I also suggest you explore the BB web site and read the information about depression. Look at the tabs at the top of the page, The Facts and Resources have drop down lists of the information available. There is also information for family and friends about depression which you can to your mom. Beyond Blue will send any of the information to you. Become as informed as possible.

If you do have depression then the quicker you get help the easier it will be to recover. If there is a reason why you cannot go to your doctor, can you go to a school counsellor, if you are still at school, or does your place of employment have a counselling program? I do wonder why you cannot go to your doctor as this is the most straight forward way to get an answer.

If you feel very down and want to talk to someone phone the BB helpline. The number is 1300 22 4636 and someone is available 24/7. This would be a good option for you as the person you will talk to is trained in mental health issues.

Please continue to write in here.

Mary

[Leeza]

Thank you for sharing.

I have suffered from depression since I was about 11. I have been suicidal, self harmed and just prayed that I would die. The good news is that i dont always feel like that and have had a pretty good and happy life. The bad news is that it always comes back. I can go months feeling great and then all of  sudden I wake up feeling depressed, anxious, completely lost and alone. The simple fact is that depression is a disease. Diabetics will always have diabetes but they manage there illness. Its taken me a long time to look at depression as an illness I need to manage instead of something that i just wish would disappear forever.

I am 33 now and while I still struggle I can share some things that have helped me.

I kept my depression a secret for many years fearing my loved ones would think i was crazy. I finally told my then boyfriend about my past and my depression and although he doesn't really understand,  he loves me and is now my husband of 7yrs and tries to help me through the hard times. I have told my parents a little but honestly; people who have never suffered from depression don't  understand it. People who have never self harmed don't  really understand  why we have hurt ourselves. Talking to someone who understands is vital. So i congratulate you for posting here. I do find that telling my husband when im feeling bad helps, just to get it off my chest. Also writing in  journal.

But the thing that helps me the most is me. I know that each depressive state will pass, I tell myself that I will feel better soon and eventually I do. I also watch funny movies, walk my dogs, bake cupcakes, make future plans and anything else that might cheer me up. 

Know that even when you feel lonely and helpless, you are never alone. There are people out here who understand what you are going through and sometimes just talking to them (this forum) can make you feel a lot better.

Take care

[geoff]

dear Tash, thanks for joining the BB site, and what Mary has said to you is exactly what I would have said, but our concern is to know your age.

What I can say is 'yeah I understand and yeah that makes total sense' and your mum has every right to say to believe in god, but I'm not religious and believe that it needs more attention.

I am not taking anything away from what your mum has said but we hope that you can get back to us. Geoff. x