Social Anxiety

[Rea]

Hi and thanks for clicking, I suppose. I'm a 23 year old female who has been experiencing social anxiety since childhood. When I was 10 I would burst into tears if I had to give a presentation and my voice and knees would shake uncontrollably. As the years went by I assumed it was just a 'phase' that I would outgrow however it only worsened and affected my schooling greatly. When I was 18 I finally saw a psychologist to deal with some issues I was having after my father passed away and ended up telling them about the severe stress I experience when out in public, dealing with daily social interactions and my low self esteem. It turned out to be a case of "you've had X amount of sessions, good luck, adios" type of thing. Now that I'm in my 20s I find it harder to reach out for professional help. If somebody tries to chat or befriend me I automatically push them away without realising it and I've found myself gradually dwindling down my number of friends to zero. I have almost no dating experience, the only numbers I have in my phone are of old friends who are less than acquaintances now and I don't go out anymore. My feeling of self worth has been incredibly low ever since I can remember - I have always hated everything about my body and my appearance, I know people hardly notice me yet I always feel like people are judging me and think I'm repulsive and on the rare occasion that a man speaks to me and sounds like he's asking me out or even asks for my number I immediately question his intentions in my head and assume it's some sort of sick joke or he's being nice out of pity. My family life has been rocky at times and I have had my trust broken over the years which doesn't help opening up to people (my idea of opening up is a discussion beyond general interests and pets). To get help I need to talk to a stranger about my fear of strangers to overcome my fear of strangers, it feels impossible. I know they are professionals but baring all is terrifying considering I have enough trouble going down to the local corner shop. I didn't mean for this to be a pity party, I think I may have needed a bit of a 'vent'. I suppose I'd like to know if anybody here is or has also experienced severe social anxiety and how you built up the courage to seek professional help? How did you go about getting help? Can you ever totally conquer social anxiety disorder? Are there any daily living tips you can share? Any advice is appreciated. Thanks for listening (well, reading).

[Rea]

Sorry if there are already many posts about this, I didn't think about that. And sorry it's so long - this is as basic as I could make it. x

[Ladyhawke]

Hi Rea,

​Welcome to the forums. I can assure you that you are not alone with this debilitating condition; there are thousands of us.

I've had severe anxiety and depression for more than 40 years. The anxiety kicked in at the age of five - when I started.school and I began to experience periods of depression from the age of 9.

Having severe anxiety as a child made every day feel like hell. I'd wake up feeling nauseous -often to the point of vomiting - terrified and shaking. I experienced this daily throughout childhood, my teenage years, university and into my adult life. I don't ever recall waking up feeling excited about the day ahead, just dread at the thought of getting through the day. 

In my late teens and early 20s I developed social phobias. I was unable to eat in front of people, couldn't look at people while walking along a street and could barely speak in a group.

I had very low self esteem and pushed people away as I expected to be rejected and wanted to preempt their rejection.

I first sought help in my mid-30s when I became so unwell I could barely function. I saw my GP, explained my story and he referred me to a psychiatrist. This was the turning point. I finally had an outlet to openly discuss my issues and was finally given medication that eventually made life tolerable. 

That was 20 years ago. I've changed psychiatrists 4 times until I found one who seemed to "get" me and was a good "fit" for me. I've been seeing him weekly for the last 14 years and if I experience issues between sessions, I phone or text him for advice. 

I regret not seeking help earlier but I didn't know what help was available. I had been dealing with the issues for so long, I just thought that was how I would always be. I was also afraid and ashamed of the stigma that surrounded mental health issues. If I'd had therapy and the appropriate medication earlier,  my life would have been very, very different.

I urge you to speak with your GP about your issues and ask to be referred to a psychiatrist or psychologist. Not all therapists are the same. Don't let a negative experience deter you from seeking help. My life changed dramatically when I sought treatment and with patience and persistence, I'm confident yours will too. I hope my story has been of some help. Feel free to make contact if you need to.

Best wishes

LH

[Chris_B]

Rea said:Sorry if there are already many posts about this, I didn't think about that.

Hi Rea, no problems. There are quite a few threads on social anxiety, if you have a look through the ones below you should find some helpful insights, as well as other people who are going through the same thing.

Social anxiety - by Katie101

Social anxiety at school - by Gtwow

Social anxiety - by clouise

Social anxiety - by Jukee

I can't handle the social anxiety anymore - by kelliew

Social anxiety by sarah272

[Qlder_forever]

Hi Rae,

You have been through an awful lot in your short life. It is no wonder than you are hurting.  Yes I suffer from anxiety too.  I am on medication which helps. Meditation every day helps to calm you and build up your self esteem. You need to take little steps. First one is go to a good Dr, get on medication, get referred to a psychologist.   I know of a great psychologist Andrew Fuller who talks at Generation Next days. Andrew is down to earth and has written some great books. 

 You are a unique human being with special qualities which need to nurtured and used. We are all different. We all have some sort of problem.  You by taking these steps will turn you into a butterfly and you will be free. You will have a massive weight lifted from your shoulders.  You are in charge of your lives journey.  Go out now and set yourself free. All the best. I know you can do it