School troubles

[Guest_88424214]

I can remember last year where I thought that my life was great. I was getting good grades, my socializing skills were great, I lacked stress and I felt safe. However, this year, I lost all of those.

It all started with my large friendgroup consisting of 8 people, I used to be included in all of their conversations. But one of the girls suddenly decided to take authority and excluded me from every conversation simply because I stopped listening to 'k-pop'. Even when I come to lunch late with other people from the friendgroup, I'm always the one being scolded and criticized. Not only do I not feel accepted with my friends but also my classmates. I used to have a close relationship with every single one of my classmates due to my constant socialising skills (I'm an ESTP) and in class I'm in this trio of girls. Nowadays, my classmates have been ignoring my existence and paying all of it on my friends from the trio. They would only talk to me for test answers or for favours and I'm tired of it. No matter how hard I try to socialise, I either be left forgotten or as the last option. I know it might sound stupid but I'm jealous, I feel alone. I even just found out that the girls in my trio hung out without me and them and my friendgroup have groupchats that didn't have me in it.

Plus, on my birthday, every single friend forgot my birthday, and when I told them they just brushed it off and told me it was no big deal. Yet, when it's someone else's birthday, although I'm closer with my friends, my friends bombard them with gifts and happy birthday songs. I just can't help but feel excluded and forgotten by everybody. The group I used to feel safe with no longer makes me feel belonged.

Furthermore, my grades have been going down and my stress have been skyrocketing high. My school gives students a bunch of learning tasks and I used to be able to keep up with them. But recently, I've been so focused on all of my friendship issues and cramped test schedules that I can't sleep, study or even find ways to seek happiness. My whole life is a mess. I used to get grades that was 95% at minimum, and now I'm stuck at 66% in only 6 months.

I'm so tired of this feeling but I can't tell what feeling it is. I just want to live my life. Is that too hard to ask?

(sorry if the grammar and fluency of this post is horrible, I'm just writing directly from what I'm feeling)

[TrueSeeker]

It is very upsetting when a whole group turns against us. It can feel like the whole world is against us. It's not the case. This usually happens when the leader of the group is not happy with us and it can be over something very small. The leader then turns the group against us and they follow the leader because they are scared of being rejected.

Please don't let this affect your future. There are a lot of good people out there that wouldn't do this to you. It might take a while to find the right people for you but it's worth the effort. I'd try to focus on my studies to keep my mind busy and be open to new people and new friends.

[Scared]

Its not stupid at all.

Most students from all over the world have these friend pressures.

You are part of a huge world wide club and you are not alone.

Firstly well done for reaching out. You are a very smart person for doing so.

I understand it hurts and that is normal to feel this way.

School is your life and friends is everything to you and its serious for you.

Most adults on Beyond understand what is happening to you . We have lived it ourselves and its so unfair .

Being excluded from a group can bring up many feelings inside.

Some may be angry others sadness or loneliness or all of these things.

So what can we do about this very important problem.

Firstly we need to find a safe and trusted person that we can talk to about it.

Your mom dad Aunty Uncle or school counsellor. Talking about it helps take some of the bad feelings away.

We adults do it all the time so you can too.

Secondly understand that things in life are not always fair. School can be a very unfair cruel at times place to be.

Im 62 yo and I would have a hard time dealing with it too.

What is happening to you happen to me in the dark ages of the 1970s and I know it hurts.

Try to become friends with someone else at school and be involved in sport or another activity and things will get better.

But always be kind to yourself.

Dont hang out with people that make you feel bad. Not ever ok.

Your grades are suffering and you have to get back on track.

Please start by talking to someone trusted and let them help you take some of your emotional burden away.

As for your friends just ignore them for a while and get back on track.

Very often other friends may feel the same way you do and seek you out.

But dont wait for that to happen, start a new chapter beginning with talking

I hope this old man was of some help to you. Remember its not stupid

[moody-_ahhhhh]

i know its been very distressing for u but pls dont feel guilty of stopping listening to kpop, i think this can be a good turning point to just live by your own values. its so dodgey that both ur friend group and trio abandoned you, but i also reckon this can be a stepping stone to find new friends (not necessairly at school). if there's one thing to take away its that your 'friend' group are awful communicators and that trio probably wasnt that close with u to begin with, either way i wish u well and hope u find a better and new supportive clique