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Limerence. Loneliness.
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Hey y'all,
I'm Veric and I feel like shit. I've had limerence for the past year now for this guy I met when I was gaming. We've known each other for two years now, and the limerent feelings started as I got to know him a lot better and found out we actually live in the same city. Fast forward to now, we still haven't met IRL.
I know he doesn't have any feelings back and I'm fully aware that it's all unrequited. He's definitely become a friend and has even met my own closest friends. There are times we don't talk for weeks and I know I shouldn't expect us to be constantly talking, but there's no reciprocation at times.
I feel lonely especially my mates all got their own partners and I'm naturally on my own most of the time. I've been trying to distract myself with my hobbies and other things, but he was the one that I talked or just virtually hung out with when I was alone.
I've been doing well trying to do no contacts and lessen the amount of times we talk. I have no idea with I should let this thing go. I'm just making myself miserable and I wanna protect my peace and energy. It's definitely made me lonelier, but it lessened the times I became attached to him. I've been working on myself for the past six months trying to understand all these feelings and ways I gotta handle myself.
If anyone has gone through limerence before or even just unrequited love, I would appreciate any advice and guidance as to how you've managed through it all. It would really help me out just knowing I'm not alone on this.
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Hello Veric
Yes, I've been there and a lot of my friends too. It feels good to create this dream of a wonderful life with someone. It's hard to let it go because it makes us feel great just thinking about it. I still have it and even contacted the person years later and realised that it was just a dream and reality with that person would be quite different.
It's completely ok to dream of great things happening as long as we keep in mind that it is just a dream. As much as it can seem very hard to do or believe that we can find the real thing and be very happy with someone else, it does happen. It happened to me, I found some else that I love very much and have moments with him that are even better than the dream.
Sometimes it's enough just to keep socialising and trying to find someone that we can be happy with and experience real love. It might take some time but as long as we keep looking there is always hope.
I hope that this helped a little, please let us know how you're going whenever you feel like it
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Thanks for the reply and the advice.
Little update... He reached out recently after nearly a month of not speaking to me. Well I haven't reached out as well, because I've always been the one to talk first and say hi and all that. I just feel like there hasn't been reciprocation and it's a pattern I've noticed for the past year. Therefore, I've decided to just limit my contact with him. I hate doing it because it makes it look like I don't like him anymore and I don't wanna hurt him or just end the friendship. In doing so, I know I'll feel more lonely.
I can't recall any childhood trauma or anything, my parents loved me and my sister. They were supportive, however, looking back they weren't as emotionally supportive. Maybe I'm just an emotionally needy person. But yeah, I've always been independent and to be honest, I can be really avoidant. But when I become close to someone, I get really clingy, jealous and attached. It's a pattern I've noticed when I was in high school and now I'm in my early 20s, I thought it was a phase.
I just don't wanna keep repeating this cycle as I've had limerence before and it was not fun. But I'm proud of myself to have armed myself with more knowledge and awareness of myself.
Thanks for the reading this big ass essay LMAO 😂.
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Hello
It makes it so much easier when we understand ourselves and know what to watch out for. Sometimes it's all that we need to cope with things better.
I think that it's completely natural to want love, it's one of our basic instincts. It can definitely take some time to find the right person for us. All we can do is to keep looking and be open to it when it does happen and treasure it.
You do deserve to be loved as much as you love others.
