Relationship problem

[Yummy_bunny]

I am currently in a relationship. We were best friends before we started dating and we have a very relaxed relationship. I know he loves me and he does so much for me and always misses me and wants to see me. But for some reason I keep telling myself that he doesn't love me and I keep thinking about us breaking up and that I'm a terrible girlfriend. And scared he's going to leave me even though he has told me the only way we will break up is if I leave him first. There is no reason to be having these negative thought because we never have any big fights.

Does anyone have have any advice for me to stop thinking so negatively

[white knight]

Hi yb, welcome

Its possible you are generally negative but as he is the ine you are in a relationship with, its more noticable to you.

Often with anxiety we create issues and they arent realistic. To change that anxious minset you need to "reset" your anxieth and that means several things

Medication, therapy and relaxation techniques and/or classes.

reassurance from him is good. You need it. But creating uncertainty and showing insecurity could harm your bond so be proactive and treat your problem.

All the best

Tony WK

[Kittenx]

It sounds like you've been hurt in the past and you're afraid to let your walls down, I (as I'm sure most people) have felt this way and was completely emotionally dependent on others and was always in and out of relationships constantly getting hurt because I was settling with the wrong people for the wrong reasons, I decided I wouldn't commit to another relationship until I learned how to be completely emotionally independent and now I don't feel insecure about my looks, I'm confident and happy and I won't settle for anyone unless they're the perfect person, I think you need to ask your self if you really truly love this person or if they make you feel just comfortable, you only live once and you I'm so glad I decided not to waste my time anymore, if you do really love him I think you should sit down with a pen and paper and write him a well thought out letter letting him know how you feel and ask him how he really feels because you don't want to waste your time and emotions on someone who doesn't want to spend the rest of their life with you because if that's not what you mutually want then what's the point of committing to a relationship? It seems like when you are committed to someone you're really only as happy as they are so you need to look at the bigger picture and if he opens his heart to you then just take a deep breath and let him in and see where that roller coaster takes you, you have nothing to lose if you don't actually already have it, just think about what you really 100% want and work toward that goal and don't let anyone sway you toward something you don't want x

[geoff]

hello YM, I'm sorry when people do have 'intrusive feelings' and that's what you are having, it's a lack of confidence, security and causes anxiety and it could start for any reason, maybe you have seen a friend go through a breakup where you always thought they were two love birds and never separate.
It certainly happens with people suffering from OCD, but I'm not suggesting that here, but what worries me is that you say you were in 'a very relaxed relationship', so your fear is that you may do something wrong which would allow him to move on.
Have a talk with him and tell him about your fear, although this may not satisfy your fear, but if you google intrusive thoughts where there is a huge post with this on BB. Geoff. x