Need some social advice

[My-name-is-Jono]

I'm at school and in year 11, just started on holidays, and I need to stop playing computer games so I can focus on school. only thing is all my friends play computer games and i never get invited to any sort of events in real life so I just get so lonely which that puts me off school work. So I'm stuck in this middle ground and don't know what to do and just need advice or just an excuse to socialise so I don't feel so bad.

[Fairywings]

hello there ans welcome glad you have joined us. Ah yes this is such a difficult thing to be confronted with. I was always an outsider at school, yes i hung around the cook kids to feel accepted and feared rejection I guess. To a teenager this seems like the world but as u get older believe me it doesn't cross your mind as much bc you are older and much wiser by the time you reach my age (37) life will have taught you many many lessons. One thing it taught me is that your friends are not really your friends and only in hard and difficult do true friends reveal themselves to you. My point to you is you are still young don't wait around so to speak the fact that you don't get invited use it as positive not a negative - use this time to find yourself, do things you want to do in life go for long walks crank up the music nice and loud learn to love spending time with yourself believe me it makes you a stronger person therefore inside yourself you don't feel like your waiting for anyone. This takes practice and what a better time to start - once you have mastered this, it will shine through you. Your school buddies will notice that you are much happier within yourself and they will start to question themselves if it is something they have done - if they are considerate in such ways if not, then that's Ok! they are not people you need in your life you are the only one that needs to make yourself happy in life so my point to you is go out there grab what you want in life bc I know playing computer games all day will get very isolating, enjoy your life view it with a sense of curiosity and wonder don't be afraid to be the little black sheep i'm not, I've always been the little black sheep and let me tell you I shine brighter than the stars in the sky. xx Don't worry about others just worry about your own happiness your soul with thank you for it. It has been nice speaking with you please do keep in touvh we are all here for you. Warmest regards Venessa xx

[MarkJT]

Jono, do you play or follow sport? If so, getting involved in a sporting club is a great way to make friends and importantly get you outside and socialising. I have been involved in sport my entire life and have life long friends from it.

Is there school sport that you can get involved in?

When I was hospitalised with PTSD, depression and anxiety in 2013, my mates from the cricket club got around me and played a big part in my recovery.

Do you feel that you are addicted to playing the computer games? If so, I would recommend getting to the GP to break that addiction. Your schooling is such a critical part of your life that you obviously need to give it your attention, as you have pointed out.

Great that you posted what you are going through - takes courage and i commend you for that.

See what you reply with above and then we will work on what to do next.

Cheers

Mark

[MsPurple]

Hi Jono and welcome to the forums

It can be hard finding a click and social group at school. I struggled at my first school (went there from kindergarden to year 😎 because it was a small private school. I found it difficult sometimes because I couldn't go to another group because there wasn't another group. When I moved schools I went from my year maybe having 30 people to 300 so it made it easier to make friends as I could go to different groups with different interests. I want to let you know that school is not the only place you'll make friends and social group. When I went to uni I started making friends with my uni friends, it is also easier if you are studying the same subjects and have similar interests. I also made friends with people I worked with. And since I have moved towns I started going to the gym and classes and I have made friends with a few of those girls and I am now pretty close with them. What I'm trying to say is that having a good social group maybe difficult at school because you are with limited people being around them constantly. Maybe something you could try and start a social gathering and you invite a few mates over (come over and play video games). I did that and eventually they invited me to their things as it was recipicated.

I just want you to know that high school (which I finished 8 years ago thank goodness) is not the only place you can make friends and if you don't have a large group of friends at school doesn't mean you won't be able to make friends easily at uni or outside of work. It is a completely different environment. I agree with Mark and I would try do social things outside of school such as sport or joining a club. I did netball and I know some people did karate or language schools.

Hope this helps. And remember to always be yourself

[My-name-is-Jono]

Sorry for late reply I was working, thank u for the inspiration and just asking do u have anythings to do/try that made u happy? If I could get a bit of a kick start that would be great, thanks

[My-name-is-Jono]

I used to play soccer for a club but a recent blow to the testicle via bycycle accident knocked me out for 3 months and i missed the try outs for this season.

I would like to go to the GP to try help the gaming problem it's just my parents don't know what's going on (for certain reasons) and i don't know how to get in touch with the gp

Thanks, sorry for late reply was working

[Fairywings]

I take my mini foxy for a walk color in listening to music metal really loud few of my favs linkin park and disturbed and metallica xx take my son for a nice long walk in the pram he enjoys it just as much as I do 😊 nice long drive walk by the beach cook there u have it xx

[My-name-is-Jono]

I used to try invite friends over or go to the city but i would just find myself doing those activities with myself, no one would want to come along. Ive just run out of ideas on what to try and kinda need to juggle it with school cause my parents get so angry when I do bad in tests

Thanks for reply

[My-name-is-Jono]

I used to cruise on long boards so I might try get back into that

Thank you for your help

[Fairywings]

Sounds like a great idea your welcome anytime xx