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BeyondBlue New to this Forum? Please read this first!
  • replies: 0

Hey there! Welcome to the Young People section of the Beyond Blue Forums. The purpose of this section is to provide members aged 25 and under a space to discuss life issues, tricky situations and the difficult emotions and feelings that come with tho... View more

Hey there! Welcome to the Young People section of the Beyond Blue Forums. The purpose of this section is to provide members aged 25 and under a space to discuss life issues, tricky situations and the difficult emotions and feelings that come with those. If you are aged over 25, please be mindful that this is a space for younger people to connect and provide support for each other. These forums are moderated, so your posts may not appear straight away. Information on moderation on the Forums can be found here. Being familiar with our Community Guidelines can help ensure that your posts appear online as quickly as possible. If we have concerns about your wellbeing, one of our friendly moderators will check in with you privately to make sure you get the support you need. If you need more immediate support, we recommend reaching out to the following: Beyond Blue Support Service – any time, chat online to a counsellor or call 1300 22 4636 Headspace – between 9am and 1am (AEST), chat online to a mental health clinician or call 1800 650 890 Kids Helpline – any time, chat online to a counsellor or call 1800 55 1800 Thank you for being here. We’re glad you’ve found us here and hope this can be a supportive space for you Beyond Blue

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Tired Emotionless
  • replies: 4

It's kind of strange. I have this overwrought feeling of sadness and yet I don't really feel anything at all. I can't stop procrastinating doing my work. I don't want to fail, in fact I'm fairly sure I have an unhealthy fear of failure but whenever I... View more

It's kind of strange. I have this overwrought feeling of sadness and yet I don't really feel anything at all. I can't stop procrastinating doing my work. I don't want to fail, in fact I'm fairly sure I have an unhealthy fear of failure but whenever I go to do work I feel as though it's not worth it, yet when I see the minutes tick by submission time I cry and feel like my heart is being wrenched out of me. I've thought of suicide a few times but overall I know I won't as I have two things stopping me, my family and my cowardice. I love my family so much and I know they love me but I honestly don't think I'm worth their love. I'm nothing special and I never have been. I always get ok grades, I'm not some hidden genius nor a bimbo with no brain, I'm just as boring as everyone else really, I don't have anything I am really interested in, though I can spend hours online not doing anything. It sort of feels like a cloud over my eyes. I know my old self is pulling at me and I know I would have felt angry or happy at certain things so I can fake it easily, but really it just all seems like this fog has dulled down all my senses except sadness and that is only overall not to little things like it used to be. I have 'friends'. Their nice people really but I've learned through life experience that no one really cares about anyone other than themselves. They haven't noticed a change in me and I'm pretty sure if I just never contacted them again they wouldn't really be bothered. Actually that's how I feel about everything, as if my existence may as well just slip away. I'm pretty sure I'll never do anything great for the world and looking at how overpopulated the world is I know it really doesn't need me here acting like a sorry arse consuming consuming consuming. People like to tell you to be grateful for what you have as there are a lot of people with much bigger problems than you and perhaps you should be thinking about them. Well I do actually. I think that it's not fair that I, little miss unhappy and worthless, shouldn't be here, I would love to swap with someone who's having a hard life because they would deserve this life much more than I do. Anyway this is just a very long rant about a few things that I've been thinking , I doubt anyone will bother reading it as it is so long, and I don't blame them, I don't really blame anyone, I get people have their own life problems and I'm just acting like a bit of a twat but oh well. There you go.

Buddy1 Confused and numb
  • replies: 3

Hi everyone. I'm unsure if I'm in the right place for this but my boyfriend and I only broke up last night. We were together for almost two years. He left me because our relationship was only going downhill. I tried to fight for us, but he had lost h... View more

Hi everyone. I'm unsure if I'm in the right place for this but my boyfriend and I only broke up last night. We were together for almost two years. He left me because our relationship was only going downhill. I tried to fight for us, but he had lost hope. He said he still loves me but things were getting too hard for him, which I can respect. He isn't a bad person at all for doing this but I still love him as much as I always have, I've had no sleep and I'm not coping well at all, I have amazing friends and family who are super supportive but I'm worried I'm going to be so down so often that they will get over it. I'm going to be facing him everyday at school, only for a few more months until we graduate, but I have no motivation for anything at all, I feel numb and aching. If anyone has any advice on what the best thing is or anything that could help I would really appreciate it. Thank you in advance

My-name-is-Jono Need some social advice
  • replies: 20

I'm at school and in year 11, just started on holidays, and I need to stop playing computer games so I can focus on school. only thing is all my friends play computer games and i never get invited to any sort of events in real life so I just get so l... View more

I'm at school and in year 11, just started on holidays, and I need to stop playing computer games so I can focus on school. only thing is all my friends play computer games and i never get invited to any sort of events in real life so I just get so lonely which that puts me off school work. So I'm stuck in this middle ground and don't know what to do and just need advice or just an excuse to socialise so I don't feel so bad.

Yummy_bunny Relationship problem
  • replies: 3

I am currently in a relationship. We were best friends before we started dating and we have a very relaxed relationship. I know he loves me and he does so much for me and always misses me and wants to see me. But for some reason I keep telling myself... View more

I am currently in a relationship. We were best friends before we started dating and we have a very relaxed relationship. I know he loves me and he does so much for me and always misses me and wants to see me. But for some reason I keep telling myself that he doesn't love me and I keep thinking about us breaking up and that I'm a terrible girlfriend. And scared he's going to leave me even though he has told me the only way we will break up is if I leave him first. There is no reason to be having these negative thought because we never have any big fights. Does anyone have have any advice for me to stop thinking so negatively

Alec29 Are my friends bullies/abusive or is it my fault am I the problem?
  • replies: 4

Hi everyone I don't know how to start this but I have extremely low self esteem & sense of self worth (for full story look at my other posts if that would help you understand more) but my dad has always been emotionally abusive and I hate myself and ... View more

Hi everyone I don't know how to start this but I have extremely low self esteem & sense of self worth (for full story look at my other posts if that would help you understand more) but my dad has always been emotionally abusive and I hate myself and think i'm stupid and worthless etc. But this post is about my relationship with my friends. I have known them since year 8 and i'm in about to finish yr 11 they don't respect me at all. They post photos of me on Facebook without my permission and i have asked many times for them to stop but they just laugh and tell me its funny that im overreacting and tell me to shut up because apparently i love getting my life turned into a joke. The nickname they gave me in year 8 is the only thing they will call me my entire school calls me the nickname and no one is allowed to say my actual name because its a swear word and they make a joke out of everything in my life i have many chronic illnesses that really affect my life and they make jokes about them. Im allergic to cats i told them this and they put cat hair on me threw my friends cat at me and made it crawl over me when i was sleeping they keep doing it and laughing even when i was red and itchy and my eyes were so sore they steal my stuff out of my pocket and locker and hide it they run away from me they invite me out them passively hint that they don't want me to come. they make fun of all my problems they wont listen to me or listen to my opinion if i have an issue i cant talk to them about it i have literally begged them to stop doing the things they do and they just laugh and say that i'm over reacting and that i do like it its gotten to the point where i just go along with the joke because its easier. i cant answer questions they ask because i'm afraid that they will make a joke out of it and i cant trust them ever she asked if i liked Justin Bieber and i couldn't do it because i feel like she wants to make me feel bad. But the issue is i think the arguments are my fault I call one of the friends in particular mean names and i react very poorly to her annoying me or bullying me i call her fat and stupid because she's an easy target i only do this in retaliation to the above i get angry and lose it and I have explained to her many times I don't mean it that I'm sorry and that I just lose control and that its not an excuse but i need them to listen to me once in a while and i feel terrible i'm no better than them or my dad but i feel like its my fault. Cheers

qwerty1234 I need help
  • replies: 5

I've been having trouble for a long time; when I was younger my mum always told me "you care too much". I got bullied a lot at the end of primary school and at the start of high school. I started taking "sick" days and going to class late to avoid co... View more

I've been having trouble for a long time; when I was younger my mum always told me "you care too much". I got bullied a lot at the end of primary school and at the start of high school. I started taking "sick" days and going to class late to avoid confrontation with the kids in my class and it was a really tough time but I only started feeling anxious until a few years later. I never told anyone until I got close with a few friends. They encouraged me to seek help but I was never brave enough. When I told my mum I wanted to kill myself I could see it slowly tearing her apart and I couldn't bear to watch her in this pain so I told her I felt fine and it was "just a phase". When I got to year 12, it was quite stressful but I was probably the happiest that year; I guess school distracted me? It came back when I went to university and is very much present now. The truth is, I don't even know what I have or if I have anything at all. I stress all the time, about everything. I can't sleep at night because I am constantly playing back stressful/painful situations in my mind and thinking about those to come. I do this all the time. I burp, get nauseous, and lately I have been getting chest pain when I stress. Then I stress about stressing and it peaks when I ponder the thought of my life always being this way. I want to be a doctor but how can I when I can't even deal with my own problems. There is nothing harder than telling someone about this and explaining to them that there is no reason you should be feeling this way, it is accomplishing nothing, but this is how my body works. There is no way I would be able to confront a doctor about this ongoing issue but it is clear to me I won't be able to go on otherwise. I am posting this because I would like advice on what I should do (I was thinking the first step is to see a GP?), who is a great doctor/where is a great clinic (I need to go to bulk billing because I have no money), but also, I don't want to back out of getting help again, so any advice on forcing yourself into going would also be good. I am 19 years old; Male; I am NOT burdening my family with this. Any help would be very much appreciated, thank you.

Broken_Sanity Quit Job On My Second Day
  • replies: 11

Hey, first time posting on here Recently, my job agency organised a trial day for me at a particular store and was under the impression that they were not going to make me serve customers from behind the counter, which they did. The day after the tri... View more

Hey, first time posting on here Recently, my job agency organised a trial day for me at a particular store and was under the impression that they were not going to make me serve customers from behind the counter, which they did. The day after the trial I had got a phone call from my job agency telling me that they had given me the job and to start on Tuesday (7 days after trial), which was overwhelming as everything seemed to be happening so fast. Despite getting the position, I didn't have the courage to tell them that I didn't feel comfortable with a job that involved having to constantly serve and interact with customers. I'm going to have to go to a new job agency now, as they called me up today and mentioned that they are going to be getting a transfer form for me on my next appointment. Which is fine, they weren't the most helpful people outside of getting me this one job. I'm also pretty sure my decision not to continue working is going to affect my payments, but that is my own fault. My main concern is my family though. I've definitely let them down as they were pleased and proud to have heard that I had been giving an opportunity to work. I'm also a little angry with myself. I want to try and find work to make it up to everyone but don't really know what type of job I want to do that is low stress and doesn't require customer service. Doe's anyone have any suggestions?

S_Cooper Almost 22 - completely lacking direction and feeling unaccomplished
  • replies: 4

I'm turning 22 this year and I feel like my life has hit a bit of a wall - career wise. I was on a great track. Finished highschool, went straight into uni and graduated with an undergraduate degree in architecture. I took some time off before I was ... View more

I'm turning 22 this year and I feel like my life has hit a bit of a wall - career wise. I was on a great track. Finished highschool, went straight into uni and graduated with an undergraduate degree in architecture. I took some time off before I was meant to start my masters of architecture (according to my plan), because I felt like I wasn't sure if I was going down the right path anymore. Long story short I got so overwhelmed with making a decision about what to do that I overthought everything to the max. I made a decision to start a primary school teaching diploma this year (which is a one year course) and even though I'm more than half way through the semester, I again, don't feel great about it. I almost feel like I'm giving up and worked so hard for 3 years only to not finish architecture. My reasons for teaching also align with the fact that architecture is a damn hard industry to 'make' it in, ESPECIALLY for women. And I guess when I attempted to weigh everything up I thought teaching is great for having a family too - I'm thinking to myself, you can still be ambitious and be a teacher right? But the other half of me is saying - what are you thinking. Right now I'm feeling so unaccomplished and lacking direction, big time. I almost feel like teaching isn't enough of a challenge after how complex my architecture course was, I feel like even if I one day am I deputy or principal I still may not feel accomplished. And to even get to this point or any point in my career for anyone, you need motivation and commitment and even though this is how I would've described myself for so long, I'm lacking it all. I feel no motivation to put 100% effort into teaching and succeed and that's scary. (I mean absolutely no offence to anyone who is a teacher by the way - it is an incredibly demanding job) Also am i crazy for thinking the career doesn't show enough advancement? It almost like I went to primary school, high school and uni just to go back to square one. Yet again my alternative is to go back and start my masters. I just feel like a constant yoyo. I feel like I'm getting older and have less and less options and my career is slipping away. Would appreciate any advice on the situation - thanks

Charlienotmyname Pathological lying and it's really starting to affect my life and my family relations
  • replies: 2

Throughout my entire life, I have lied about all kinds of things, usually really minor things that shouldn't matter, but for whatever reason, I did it anyway. My parents always told me that if I told the truth, I might get into trouble, but that it w... View more

Throughout my entire life, I have lied about all kinds of things, usually really minor things that shouldn't matter, but for whatever reason, I did it anyway. My parents always told me that if I told the truth, I might get into trouble, but that it would often be much worse if I lied about it. For whatever reason, that never stuck in my brain. As things stand, I made a dumb decision at my work, and as a result I was terminated. I went home and told my parents an elaborate lie about the reasons why. I felt bad about what I had done to lost my job, in fact I felt bad and regretted it while I was doing it, but I didn't stop. I felt bad about lying to my parents, but I didn't stop. A colleague from work actually contacted my parents to inform them of the situation, and they confronted me about it. They're understandably really upset and disappointed, and I understand why. I just don't know why I keep lying about things. They used to be trivial things, but now I have lies going on about important things; like, am I going to university, I tell my parents that I am, but in reality I am not. I feel like them confronting me about my job has made me realize that I need help, but I have no idea where to start or how to fix things with my family. They've outright said that they don't trust or respect me anymore, which is fair, if not harsh. I've put them through so much over the years and I just don't know what to do or how they'll respond. Simply put, help...

Ciara1 Lost with a purpose
  • replies: 10

Hi, I am writing to you in hopes to finally let my thoughts spill. I guess its not difficult to say that i have experienced some very bad things in life, but what is really difficult is talking about the things that made it so difficult. My friend su... View more

Hi, I am writing to you in hopes to finally let my thoughts spill. I guess its not difficult to say that i have experienced some very bad things in life, but what is really difficult is talking about the things that made it so difficult. My friend suggested that i should talk to a councillor, but even after completing my Psychology degree, i am still not confident to finally say what i try to hide so much. I guess what i am about to say now is now even known by my friends, maybe by family. I am giving up in life. I know how absurd that sounds. I am only 22. What could of actually happened to lead me to feeling such way. I guess the answer is not simple, and i am still trying to find it myself. Firstly i guess its the discomfort i felt at home, the never ending fights, and the never ending tears. At one point in time i even started to hate myself for being so weak. I thought by now i should be used to it. But i guess what doesn't kill doesn't always makes you stronger in the end. For me i have become even more sensitive. I am starting to see the cracks in my life, and i am trying to hid them for everyone, even myself. I guess the social media has become my weapon of dealing with it. However i feel, i am not actually fighting it but hiding from it. Theres so much to talk about, yet so little i can actually can write. I could tell you about the abuse, the distrust, the emptiness, however i don't want to focus on the past but on the future. I am trying to create a better future, however i think i am lost at a place where even if i wanted to i wouldn't be able to move on. I know there is a better place, better state - I see it all around me. However i feel like i have lost the motivation do anything about it. I just want to know what i can do. Please help! Thanks for reading.

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