Quater-life Crisis

[lulu01]

I'm living at home with my parents, got it pretty good as I have money saved up for when I need it and I don't pay rent. I have nearly finished a uni degree which I have no interest in anymore so I feel like I've wasted money on a debt that I'll have to pay off. None of my interests as of last year interest me anymore and I wish I had my future self come back in time to just help me!! I'm so lost as to where to work or where to find a job, all the job websites are irrelevant because you either need experience or need training (which I'm not prepared to gk back to school anytime soon for). And anyone that I ask for help doesn't have a clue. I've had two freak outs tonight and haven't slept and I feel like these past 2 month of staying at home have left me anxiety ridden and just wanting to sleep all the time. I need some real advice.

[Croix]

Dear Lulu01~

I'm glad you have come here, your life sounds quite dismal at the moment and from the way you talk you have not been able to give these feelings a particular reason.

Although your life sounds pretty OK on the surface there are pressures there, big ones. It is an achievement to get towards the end of a uni degree, and in that final year a very marked fatigue hits many students. Makes it very difficult to complete those last semesters. Not only straight tiredness and being sick of it all, but feelings it is pointless too.

Funny when you would think the end being in sight would spur one on.

Of course the end of studies is itself the other big pressure. At least while there your future was mapped out, you knew what to expect, with timetables and dates when things are due, plus of course the social life and interests.

Now that is all replaced by uncertainty and the need to find a job. Everyone knows what the job-seeking life is like and nobody relishes the idea. That plus the fact that very many do not really know as yet what direction they want to go in.

So it is not surprising you feel as you do.

There are some good things, to get as far as you have shows not only aptitude but also determination and application, pretty good. Living at home and not paying rent gives you a breathing space, you do not have to grab the first job but can afford to be somewhat selective.

At this difficult time I would suggest that medical support should be looked at. May I suggest you go see your GP in a long appointment and set out how you feel, particularly both the feelings of pointlessness and also the fact things you used to find interesting and enjoyable no longer appeal -plus insomnia and the 'freak outs' too. Wanting to sleep all the time is significant as well.

See what happens. Life does get better and you will again have confidence and enjoy being you.

This place is here for you anytime, you will be welcome

Croix

[monkey_magic]

Morning Lulu01,

I also live with my parent and am studying. From your post it sounds like you were once interested in the degree- I wish I had my future self come back in time and help me. So I'm thinking if you were once interested in that field one day you will be again? So maybe it isn't a waste. You would have to come back and confirm that with me.

I've had a lot of jobs in my time that I didn't need experience for and they are out there. You need to apply for jobs that will train you.There might not be as many but I don't think all hope is lost there. For example working at a supermarket, factory, hospitality, air-lines, market research,call centre, customer service,sales, retail are some examples, and there are more. I would say that I might not have on the job experience but I have other experience that will be beneficial to the role for eg.... Job agencies can be great at helping you find work and I'd sign up with them. I've managed to get a few jobs through them. Without any qualifications I managed to get over 10 jobs and that's no exaggeration. I've worked in supermarkets,call centres, factories, hospitality, customer service, self employed artist, telemarketer,promotions, sales rep, market research interviewer, I've done surveys on-line. There are jobs out there. I also know that it can be hard because I went through months of searching and not getting anywhere as well.

Hang in there. Are there things you enjoy doing in the meantime to pass the time? I write poems and short stories, read, paint, listen to music, travel, exercise etc. I think a balance of study, looking for work, social and leisure are good. Croix has given you a lot of good advice as well.

It would be great if you could get back to us to let us know what you think and how you're generally going.

All the best

[lulu01]

Sort of! What I meant by that was I need some guidance or someone with more life experience to take initiative in helping me and to guide me to something I should be doing. Like an older sister or an older me.

[Croix]

Dear Kulu01 (with a wave to MM)~

I can understand how you feel, to reduce the risks associated with decision making and get some direction. Unfortunately it does not seem to work quite that way. Very often I've found I'm either stumped for ideas or am uncertain which way to jump.

The best thing I've found is to think up a proposal and then talk it over wiht people I respect, ones that seem to have managed to get though life reasonably OK. I talk with my partner and she gives me a different perspective. If we both agree then it's likely my idea is worth trying, if she disagrees I look at what she thought and then we talk some more.

Not perfect, and I do have to come up with a proposal, but probably as good as it gets. So who do you have in your life you can talk things over with, you parents perhaps?

Let me know what you think

Croix