Over it

[Guest_25903719]

i’m a 17-year-old, obviously this is a hard time for people my age as well for many reasons; I’m fresh in year 12,  i have to worry about my future, and work. Its to much to ask of me, i constantly try my best yet i still fail. I am so grateful for the home i was raised in and how i was raised, but sometimes parents need to get out of their ways and think about how their children, a teenager, ME, would feel. I constantly get yelled at for little things and things i didn't even do, but of course my little sister is a star, i get blamed for everything, i always get snarky comments from everyone that aren't needed. It feels like I have no where to go, i’m constantly crowded with expectations that i cant live up to, yet if i don't i'm a failure. I just cant do this anymore, i have no space in which i can just stop. I feel so alone but full of everything and everyone at the same time. I just seriously cant do this anymore, i have trued everything, i went to therapy but its to expensive, the school doesn't help, so this is my last resort. I try talking to my parents but they don't even acknowledge that i’m there, they are busy with everything else. I feel so ungrateful because i know people’s situations are worse then mine, but i have been struggling for so long in silence. I Cant Do It Anymore…

I try and try and try again but i just keep failing, this is now affecting my performance, which of course makes everything worse. I was recently ill, and all it was, was that im not good enough, i did it to myself.. I love my parent's so much, its just there actions speak louder then their words. Emotional, physically, mentally, spiritually, all of them, i just cant keep doing this. Im so drained and exhausted. I don't know what else i'm meant to do. I don't have that much to write because i cant explain the whole pool of emotions that I'm feeling, it’s to much. I Cant Do This Anymore.

[white knight]

Hi, welcome

I'm an oldie... 68yo but you wont get a lecture here of me supporting your parents type of thing. That isnt my role. My role is, from the perspective of all my lived experience including mental well being, careers and relationships.

I saw the same situation when I was 15yo. My older brother was unwell from birth and my little sister was the angel. I was so unhappy. So as I liked aeroplanes at 17yo I joined the AirForce. I stayed there 3 years and got myself a lot of experience and a profession. I had adult pay, cheap rent, free medical and dental and a great saving ability. I also had a choice of many careers and ongoing education. Travel and friendships.

It might not be for you the defence forces, but it is an example of how to take control of your future as a child one step from an adult. When I used to visit (I was stationed in Adelaide and family in Melbourne) it was only on a weekend every 6-8 weeks, just long enough for my dose of family before leaving lol.

Ok, so you are not going to change your parents, they are set and the more you yell the more they see you as immature. But all I can suggest is to set strict boundaries for yourself and everyone else. Or seek solutions. eg I used to walk out to my shed at 16yo and study there. Or stay back at school and study in the library for a solid hour. Beats putting up with my younger sister and parents. Tell your parents you'd like all chores to be done by say 7pm then you need to be left totally alone to study without distractions. 

Sometimes we need to become more clever in the way we process distractions. We also need to develop our communication skills like placing boundaries is great but its the way we go about it.

eg

"I need to study instead of being interupted with chores"!!!

to

"ok mum I'll take the rubbish out soon... mum can I ask you something (yes) - is it possible for all my chores to be finalised by 7pm so I can get 2 hours of solid study done... it would really help me"?

See the difference?  Then in that 2 hours in the future if you are having issues eg your sister etc then tackle that then

TonyWK

[HedgieHog]

I am so sorry you are going through this . Please continue to reach out to this community. Sending lots of good vibes your way. 

[Guest_10090]

Finish year 12. 
You have to finish year 12 by the time you’re 18. 

[User-]

Hey:/  I’m now 20 years old, and in some ways, I feel like high school has never left me. I’m still dealing the the constant snarky comments from my parents and them not listening to me when I try to bring important things up and, the whole conversation about what I should be doing and all of that. I can completely relate to the whole having so many thoughts and emotions and feeling so full with all of that but empty at the same time because you can’t do anything about it in the current moment. I am dealing with something different yet similar right now, the truth is, it’s toO much to put on a person, let alone a child just trying to get through high school. I have moments where my brain is so clouded with thoughts of everyone else because I’m always in survival mode that I can’t even function, I’m still in the thick of it but, I find that finding ANY time away from them helps. I know you said that your grades are being affected right now but, I remember in high school I used to say to my dad that I had my period really bad so I had to skip class. Just so that I could have a mental break, I’m not saying this to get you to give up on classes and trying to work hard but, if you feel like missing a class would give you that time to just refill your battery to give you something to actually work with, and you could catch up later and it’d probably be worth it, because to be honest, it’s one of the only things that kept me going in year 12. Dyeing my hair too, that helped. Dyeing it a bunch of fun crazy colours because it pissed my parents off and for some reason that gave me some sort of authority over myself, when I felt I had none. Another thing that maY help, noice cancelling earphones so you don’t have to hear as much shit as you do;) Anything where you can block it out, anything that rebels against that so you can build some sort of authority in a place where there is none, something that is yours that makes you happy, but sidetracks all of the stuff they’re going on about so you can feel some sense of safety in this chaos. Also vent ALL of this stuff out, ALL. Of it. That is also the only thing that got my through year 12, vent vent vent. Even if you’re not looking for an answer, let it allllll out. Do nOT want it to lead to a panic attack because it was all held in, I know this too well. This is coming just from my perspective but, for some reason making a massive scene out of something to get their attention, at least for me, works. My parents don’t listen to me when I put into words my boundaries so, I end up doing something like refusing to come home and staying at someone else’s house and not answering their phone calls or anything. I know this is very drastic and I’m not going to convince you that you should necessarily do this but, sometimes you gotta go to that next level when shit isn’t working. Because at the end of the day, school ain’t shit, it doesn’t prove your worth, try your best and all but, the pressure ain’t worth it at all. You’re so much more than what score you get and what career you choose, your mental health is more important than anything. This is coming from someone who in the last couple months of year 12 was so stressed about passing and getting my license and a job, and in a result, my body ended up just shutting down on me because I was completely overwhelmed with it all. I couldn’t walk for 8 months after that because I had no idea what

happened. I’m not saying this to scare you but, I am saying it to put an emphasis on how important mental health is so, do everything you can to make sure you’re mentally okay because, what i ended up realising is that, no matter how much the things you’re stressing about seems like the end all and be all, it’s not at all. You’ll get out of high school and think, why the f was I worrying about that so much? 

[Guest_10090]

• All the popular kids that bullied you peak 
• they all drop out first year uni if they start going to the gym to get really msucly
• youll never see them again