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i’m a 17-year-old, obviously this is a hard time for people my age as well for many reasons; I’m fresh in year 12, i have to worry about my future, and work. Its to much to ask of me, i constantly try my best yet i still fail. I am so grateful for the home i was raised in and how i was raised, but sometimes parents need to get out of their ways and think about how their children, a teenager, ME, would feel. I constantly get yelled at for little things and things i didn't even do, but of course my little sister is a star, i get blamed for everything, i always get snarky comments from everyone that aren't needed. It feels like I have no where to go, i’m constantly crowded with expectations that i cant live up to, yet if i don't i'm a failure. I just cant do this anymore, i have no space in which i can just stop. I feel so alone but full of everything and everyone at the same time. I just seriously cant do this anymore, i have trued everything, i went to therapy but its to expensive, the school doesn't help, so this is my last resort. I try talking to my parents but they don't even acknowledge that i’m there, they are busy with everything else. I feel so ungrateful because i know people’s situations are worse then mine, but i have been struggling for so long in silence. I Cant Do It Anymore…
I try and try and try again but i just keep failing, this is now affecting my performance, which of course makes everything worse. I was recently ill, and all it was, was that im not good enough, i did it to myself.. I love my parent's so much, its just there actions speak louder then their words. Emotional, physically, mentally, spiritually, all of them, i just cant keep doing this. Im so drained and exhausted. I don't know what else i'm meant to do. I don't have that much to write because i cant explain the whole pool of emotions that I'm feeling, it’s to much. I Cant Do This Anymore.
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Hi, welcome
I'm an oldie... 68yo but you wont get a lecture here of me supporting your parents type of thing. That isnt my role. My role is, from the perspective of all my lived experience including mental well being, careers and relationships.
I saw the same situation when I was 15yo. My older brother was unwell from birth and my little sister was the angel. I was so unhappy. So as I liked aeroplanes at 17yo I joined the AirForce. I stayed there 3 years and got myself a lot of experience and a profession. I had adult pay, cheap rent, free medical and dental and a great saving ability. I also had a choice of many careers and ongoing education. Travel and friendships.
It might not be for you the defence forces, but it is an example of how to take control of your future as a child one step from an adult. When I used to visit (I was stationed in Adelaide and family in Melbourne) it was only on a weekend every 6-8 weeks, just long enough for my dose of family before leaving lol.
Ok, so you are not going to change your parents, they are set and the more you yell the more they see you as immature. But all I can suggest is to set strict boundaries for yourself and everyone else. Or seek solutions. eg I used to walk out to my shed at 16yo and study there. Or stay back at school and study in the library for a solid hour. Beats putting up with my younger sister and parents. Tell your parents you'd like all chores to be done by say 7pm then you need to be left totally alone to study without distractions.
Sometimes we need to become more clever in the way we process distractions. We also need to develop our communication skills like placing boundaries is great but its the way we go about it.
eg
"I need to study instead of being interupted with chores"!!!
to
"ok mum I'll take the rubbish out soon... mum can I ask you something (yes) - is it possible for all my chores to be finalised by 7pm so I can get 2 hours of solid study done... it would really help me"?
See the difference? Then in that 2 hours in the future if you are having issues eg your sister etc then tackle that then
TonyWK
