New here, overwhelmed by everything.

[carpathia]

I'm really not good at writing these things. I've been trying to write this for over three hours now (even forums trigger my social anxiety, it's ridiculous). Sorry if it seems messy and incoherent.

 I've been in and out of psychologists and psychiatrists for almost a decade now, since I was 11. My mental illness has long been the only sure-thing in my life. Honestly, I'm not sure what sort of person I'd be without it. It's hard to imagine. Depression, anxiety and insomnia are my primary issues. At this point they've made it impossible to go to uni (and I mean impossible, just being on campus triggers severe panic attacks), work, just exist as a "normal" 20-year-old.

I really want to get better, and now that I'm an adult I'm trying to... take the reigns, do things that work best for me rather than my parents (I'd definitely exceed the character limit if I went into that, so I'm just going to say that situation is Not Good, emotionally abusive, etc). There's a couple things in particular that I have no idea how to approach and I'm hoping someone here has some insight.

 1) Medication. I've never been on it. My mother in particular was deadset against it when I was younger (I don't really blame her there) but it's never been offered to me as an adult. It's something I'm interested in trying, but I just don't know how to bring it up to my (or, a) doctor. I guess I'm afraid of looking like I'm just looking for drugs and not being taken seriously. If anyone has advice about this, it would be greatly appreciated.

 2) The dreaded centrelink. I've seen a fair share of threads here about how frustrating they are, so I hope someone might be able to help me out here, too.

I'm so, so worried about money. Currently, I'm receiving youth allowance as a student and a dependent. As I really have to leave uni (I just can't do it in my current situation, and I can't have another year of failing every single class). I know I'm going to have to switch over to "job seekers", and I'll probably have to be assessed as to whether or not I have a "partial capacity to work". I was wondering if anyone has had an assessment like this, and what it involved? Do you speak to one of their psychologists? Would severe anxiety qualify me for something like that? Logically, with my symptoms, I think it would, but I also logically know that the government wants to spend as little money as possible. 

 Thank you guys so much. I'm sorry if I wasn't very clear in all this.

[Paul]

Hey carparthia,

Welcome to Beyond Blue forums. I'm really glad you were able to complete your post and let us know how you're feeling. I like your writing style, it's conversational and really well laid out.

It's awesome you want to get better - that's a great sign that you're willing to try different approaches and push yourself to overcome some challenges to get it done. Challenges like busting through the anxiety to write to us.

The question of medication. So many people who don't suffer depression or anxiety think that medication is "happy pills" I usually correct them and say they are "not so unhappy pills" then slap them for being an idiot. Choosing medication as a part of a strategy to get well is very personal. It's up to you! Obviously with the support of your Dr. If you feel medication might be a part of your recovery, please chat with your Dr.

A LOT of people who suffer anxiety and depression find medication, healthy eating, exercise and therapy all go together to combat the illness.

There are some great articles in the menus above about depression and treatments, including medication, you may like to have a look through them before you decide whether to see your Dr.

There's so much more to your awesome post, but I thought I would concentrate on one aspect that may help you develop a plan to get better.

One thing I have found helpful is when I see my psych, I make sure I am completely open. I even try to shock him sometimes in how open I am. (it doesn't work - he doesn't flinch!) 

Stay in touch carpathia, I'd love to know what you decide about visiting your Dr to form a plan for getting well.

Take good care - be kind to yourself.

Paul

[geoff]

dear Carpathia, well thanks for being brave enough to post your comment, it does take a great deal of commitment and a big incentive to do so, so well done.

I'm not sure I have all the answers you are seeking, however in regard to taking medication, in other words being given antidepressants (AD) by your doctor is very important, and a decision which you and your doctor must decide on, so it now has nothing to do with your mother, because you're an adult.

You seem to have made the right decision in not completing your uni course at the moment, and I think and please don't take this as being right or wrong, but I believe that you will need to have an anppointment with centrelink, who will then put you on Newstart.

When you see them you will need to take a letter from your doctor indicating that you are suffering from severe anxiety and depression.

There seems to a lot going on with your parents, and maybe you could come back to us and tell us a bit more.

I also wonder whether or not you have left home and rented a flat, now if you haven't, which I think maybe the case, then you could get a friend to stay with you and share the rent, plus centrelink will give you rent assistance which then reduces what you have to pay.

Also if you want to leave and don't have the bond money then centrelink will provide this bond money for you.

Hope to hear back from you. Geoff. x