Dear Jflower20~
Well, looking from the outside it would appear your husband puts you second, and if there are problems you are at fault. Obviously he attaches a great deal of importance to these acquaintances and sees things as a 'them or you' type conflict. He also would appear to want to be away from the home - with or without you - for a great deal of the time.
Assuming the above is accurate I'm not in the least surprised you are hurt, upset and get angry, I certainly would be too. It is typical of some people it can't be their fault, so he turns round and blames you, no matter what provocation he is responsible for. It is also typical to have someone to blame - no matter if justified or not - hence the guilt-tripping.
If I've misunderstood please sing out.
I'm afraid my view of a partnership might seem a little idealistic, two people that enjoy being with each other, want the best for and cherish the other. On top of that having children is not a one person job, it's a joint effort, even if only one actually bears the baby - same for rearing kids. All this does indeed happen in the real world, I've been lucky that way.
I don't know that I can give you much advice just at the moment except to say you need support. Do you have anyone in your life you can rely upon who you can talk to and who will care and want to help - both on the emotional and practical level? Perhaps a parent, family member or friend? It makes such a difference. You feel less isolated, have anther's perspective and ideas, plus of course in some cases have someone to help look after the kids at times.
You have started to talk here and that's good. I hope it continues. You will find plenty of experience, and a desire to help.
Croix
