Work Anxiety

[elle_woods1]

Hi I'm new to this - and I'm looking for some guidance. I recently started a new job (about 4 months ago), its my third job with low-pressure, a great staff, understanding bosses and a great work environment. However, since starting I have been plagued with stress and worry about everything I do. Have I damaged something? Did I do it right? So much so that I begin to fill-in-the-blanks in my mind and convince myself that I have done something wrong.

Every time I have a shift i feel panicked, nauseous and frazzled. Then when I'm there I'm constantly double checking everything I do and worrying about what I will do next. Then finally when the shift is over, my real panic sets in as I sit at home and start to replay every thing I did that day and what I did wrong or begin to imagine that I have damaged something. I have an upset stomach, I pace around and find it hard to sleep.

I know it's not normal to worry so much, to the point of physical sickness about a casual job, but I don't know how to stop myself. I have been considering leaving the position, however I know in my heart that it is a great job, it is in my dream field and its a great stepping stone that could lead me to bigger and better things. I know it would make sense just to leave it - but i don't want to feel like I'm letting my irrational thoughts and worries beat me. But then I worry, if I can't even cope with this - how can I cope in the real world?

This isn't the first time I have experienced such worry and overthinking. I have done it since I was young. In the past couple of years since receiving my licence I began to be so anxious about driving and worrying I'll make a mistake and hurt someone, that I have just stopped driving. In a lot of ways I feel my worrying has stopped be just being a normal care-free 21 year old who is just enjoying their life. Instead I'm a bundle of nerves, who just stays at home.

I have tried to confide in my Mum, but when you know yourself your thoughts are irrational and overdramatic it's hard to tell anyone. I don't have any friends and I'm just feeling lost, lonely and sometimes I just don't even feel like myself anymore. I know I need help but I'm scared. I'm scared that it won't work. I'm scared that this is something I will always be stuck with. and I'm scared that if I admit it then I've lost. But at the same time, I just feel that this feeling of stress and anxiety and panic is just taking over my life and I don't want it to.

What should I do?

[Croix]

Dear Elle_woods1~

You sound an awful lot like I and many others when in the grip of anxiety, a horrible illness hat makes your thoughts go round and round examining what has happend in the past and what might happen in the future in a preoccupying and exhausting cycle. It distorts your thinking so you lose all sense of self-confidence and your world becomes full of doubt and fear.

All this is not you, any more than it was me, it is the illness talking over your thoughts, and if it happens for a long time - as it has in your case - you gradual get to think it is you and things can't change.

In the very short term a problem - such as driving or a job - can be avoided, however this resultant peace very quickly fills up with regrets and 'what if's ', plus of course genuine opportunities can be abandoned. It is a bit of a juggling act you know what one should do - leave or try to stay.

Can I suggest you are not in the best place to make an important decision like your career just at the moment. If I was in your shoes I'd go see my GP in a long consultation and set out all your are feeling, how long it has been going on, and how it affects your life.

Ask to be tested for anxiety. If you think in a face to face situation you might not explain clearly write it out (or print you above post) and then share the paper. I've done this and it has worked well.

If you are like me then therapy plus perhaps medication made a world of difference. It took a while but was well worth it. You could have a look at The Facts menu above for background on anxiety and in this Forum to see how others have got on.

Talking to someone who cares about you makes a real difference. You can get to feel less isolated and alone. It is a burden shared. Admitting there is something wrong is not losing, quite the opposite it is the first sensible step to a better life. It is only your anxiety holding you back. You are not alone in having these worries about talking, most of us have had them at one time or another.

If anxiety is confirmed then talking with your Mum may be easier.

You have started to talk here frankly, and that is an excellent thing, it might have seemed a very big step before hand, but looking back it will simply seem natural.

Please keep talking

Croix