I'm new! Hello!

[zcj]

Hey everyone

It's so nice to meet you all! My name is zcj, but you can call me Z. I'm a 21 year old nerd girl who loves birds, Lord of the Rings and death metal. I've FINALLY decided to become a member on this site after 10 whole years of struggling with my mental health. I have PTSD, severe depression and anxiety disorder. I'm looking forward to getting know people who know what this internal struggle is like, which is actually very difficult to come by in this day and age.

I'm going through a bit of a rough patch, can't really pin it on a single detail. Could be because I'm off my meds, or because I'm watching my family fall to pieces due to drugs, alcohol and violence, or maybe it's just purely a rough patch.

Either way, I can't wait to speak to all of you and I hope you are all well!

Love Z

[Mathy]

Hey Z and welcome 🙂

I live with PTSD, Anxiety and Depression, although I’m considerably older than you 🙂

I also am a nerd, who loves birds, photography, Lord of The Rings, the Narnia Chronicles and Harry Potter, and a whole bunch of other stuff as well.

I’ve also had rough patches, with and without meds, currently having a rough patch having been off meds, now taking them as fast as I can to restore some normality 😂

I can’t offer more than sympathy over the family situation, as that has not been my personal experience.

Happy to chat and offer support, cheer M 🙂

[geoff]

hello Z, welcome on board, it's always terrific to get new members because each person has their own struggles, they maybe similar to what others have mentioned, but not really because it's affecting you.
Maybe the med's didn't work for you or you couldn't handle them, but when this happens it would be nice for all of us to know why we have fallen into depression, that's where we need someone to help us through this awful ordeal.
To see your family fall to all of this c**p is not going to help you, so I wonder are able to
move away from all of this, because I don't want to see you get dragged into any of this.
Is it possible to visit your doctor once again and try some new medication. Geoff.

[zcj]

Hi Geoff! So good to meet you! That's why I joined actually, because it seems like such a great support network, and I love helping people as much as I love getting advice for my own issues!

I have moved out from my family home and live in town with my partner and my wonderful pet cockatiel. I've tried before to stop it or have an input but I have just given up, I can't let their bad decisions bring me down too. It does get quite upsetting sometimes tho.

As for the medication thing, I go to my doctor regularly. At the start of this year she took me off my meds that I was on for 6 years to see whether I could cope without them, as I am no longer a hormonal teenager, sadly, it didn't work and it turns out I'll probably have to live with these horrible mental diseases for a very long time. I have tried other medications but between study and trying to get better i other health aspects, I just can't afford to feel nauseated and horrible for weeks at a time for a trial. I'll go back to her in a few weeks to talk about slowly going back on my old medication, which unfortunately has ruined my metabolism.

Thank you for taking an interest in me though, its nice to see someone actually cares!

- Z

[zcj]

Hi Mathy! It's great to meet you! Yay, I'm so glad there's another nerd on here who is just as mentally ill as me haha! I love Harry Potter, I've read the series 22 times front to back! I think it's probably soothing to me when I hit a rough patch in my life. And even though I have never read the chronicles of narnia, I did grow up watching the movies. So weird knowing that Mr Tumnus is the same bloke who plays the young charles xavier!

If you don't mind me asking, how long have you lived with PTSD, dep & anx? And how do you cope with the constant wavering of it all? I've been like this for nearly ten years and it just doesn't seem to get any more manageable! I don't drink, party or do drugs and I eat good foods and spend a lot of time gardening and still my body is like "no man, this isn't going to be enough to even give you a glimmer of progression"

You must have some killer techniques!

- Z

[Mathy]

Hi Z,

You really must actually read the Chronicles of Narnia, starting from The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe. They were written by C.S. Lewis. Gosh, we have such an age gap, these books were the equivalent of Harry Potter when I was a kid.

I’m currently in year 15 => 16 of living with my mental health issues. I’ve been fortunate to have good guidance from a psychiatrist and a psychologist over my journey. I have to say that at 10 years, I was still pretty messy.

As you know, it is the case, that you get a bit uppity and thing you’ve got the problem sorted, than it turns around and bites you in the bum! Probably not what you want to hear, I guess.

I don’t have killer techniques, I maintain structure in my life, I take medication (took a while, but I’m resigned to that being a permanent feature), I can drink, I do party occasionally, I garden, I play golf (that’s my passion), I’m an amateur photographer, I’m Buddhist, I’m an activist, I meditate, I’m always looking for new things to experience.

Z, I have the benefit of time, you’re quite young. So, I’ve tried to feel about how I would feel at your age ...

Put structure into your life, that’s important. But don’t flog yourself with something you don’t like that’s not helping.

Find your passion(s) and don’t let MH issues drive you away from that, you have to integrate your passion with the limitations that this MH issues might impose - that takes a bit of work and juggling.

Accept that there will be good times and bad times. Gain the skills so that you understand you, and know what you need to do to dig yourself out of that hole and get back on track.

Being yourself to the point where you can trust others about your MH, this helps to build support networks/friendships - you’ve already started that process by joining and posting here.

Lovely to hear from you, let’s continue the conversation if you like, cheers M 🙂

[geoff]

hi Z, my twin brother has read The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings multiple times and always wanted me to read it but the names of everyone I couldn't remember who they were, so I gave up.
I am so pleased you have moved out of the family it would be too mentally destroying for you to stay there and to watch them crumble away by their own hand.
They will need help if that's what they want but it's too big an issue for you to exhaust yourself and nothing will happen until they put their hand up and say 'I need help'.
Depression is such a complex illness because when people say to you or anybody else that they're depressed it doesn't mean that they it's similar to your own depression, but that doesn't mean we can't help you. Geoff.

[Mathy]

Hey Z,

I missed this post about your medication issues (see below). I take old fashioned ADs because I didn’t get along with the modern variety (SSRI etc). I take a medication that’s great for reducing anxiety, helps with mood but most importantly helps with sleep. The side effects are minimal. I only ended up using this AD after I went to see a Psychiatrist - those guys are very knowledgeable about ALL possible medications. It might be beneficial for you to ask your GP for a referral. The other big plus for me is that these ADs are now pretty cheap to buy. Sorry for missing that, cheers M 🙂

zcj said:

Hi Geoff! So good to meet you! That's why I joined actually, because it seems like such a great support network, and I love helping people as much as I love getting advice for my own issues!

I have moved out from my family home and live in town with my partner and my wonderful pet cockatiel. I've tried before to stop it or have an input but I have just given up, I can't let their bad decisions bring me down too. It does get quite upsetting sometimes tho.

As for the medication thing, I go to my doctor regularly. At the start of this year she took me off my meds that I was on for 6 years to see whether I could cope without them, as I am no longer a hormonal teenager, sadly, it didn't work and it turns out I'll probably have to live with these horrible mental diseases for a very long time. I have tried other medications but between study and trying to get better i other health aspects, I just can't afford to feel nauseated and horrible for weeks at a time for a trial. I'll go back to her in a few weeks to talk about slowly going back on my old medication, which unfortunately has ruined my metabolism.

Thank you for taking an interest in me though, its nice to see someone actually cares!

- Z

[Iwanttochange]

Hey z,

I know this is an extremely late reply but forgive me because I only joined today. Im 17 and consider myself a bit of a nerd. I love video games, music and other things. I know what it’s like battling with depression and anxiety I’ve had it for about three years now. I struggle coping with it especially because I feel like I tore apart my family with my personal issues. I wish you the best of luck with your rough patch and hope that it is resolved abruptly.

[Mia001]

Hi everyone,

Hope I’m not interrupting here. 😊

I just wanted to say hello and welcome to Iwanttochange. I replied to your thread, but my message is in moderation so it hasn’t appeared yet. Just wanted you to know that you’re not being ignored! I’m here to listen.

Take care,

Mia