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BeyondBlue New to this Forum? Please read this first!
  • replies: 0

Hey there! Welcome to the Young People section of the Beyond Blue Forums. The purpose of this section is to provide members aged 25 and under a space to discuss life issues, tricky situations and the difficult emotions and feelings that come with tho... View more

Hey there! Welcome to the Young People section of the Beyond Blue Forums. The purpose of this section is to provide members aged 25 and under a space to discuss life issues, tricky situations and the difficult emotions and feelings that come with those. If you are aged over 25, please be mindful that this is a space for younger people to connect and provide support for each other. These forums are moderated, so your posts may not appear straight away. Information on moderation on the Forums can be found here. Being familiar with our Community Guidelines can help ensure that your posts appear online as quickly as possible. If we have concerns about your wellbeing, one of our friendly moderators will check in with you privately to make sure you get the support you need. If you need more immediate support, we recommend reaching out to the following: Beyond Blue Support Service – any time, chat online to a counsellor or call 1300 22 4636 Headspace – between 9am and 1am (AEST), chat online to a mental health clinician or call 1800 650 890 Kids Helpline – any time, chat online to a counsellor or call 1800 55 1800 Thank you for being here. We’re glad you’ve found us here and hope this can be a supportive space for you Beyond Blue

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Atomiser 20 year old man, social anxiety has seriously hurt my employment chances, feeling helpless.
  • replies: 1

Hi, new member here. I'm currently searching for part-time and casual work to fill up my schedule (I only work one night a week) and it has been the most embarrassing experience of my life. I've applied to so many positions in retail and hospitality,... View more

Hi, new member here. I'm currently searching for part-time and casual work to fill up my schedule (I only work one night a week) and it has been the most embarrassing experience of my life. I've applied to so many positions in retail and hospitality, and have been declined at every turn. The only experience I have in a cafe setting is a couple months working a year ago and I was terrible at it. I couldn't make coffee, I made so many mistakes constantly, and I was terrible at customer service because I looked depressed apparently. I tried so hard to improve but I was let go because of how incompetent I was at a job that a 15 year old could do. Since that's some of the only experience I have I tried applying to other cafes, of the trials I had my hands were constantly shaking I couldn't follow their simple instructions and make coffee like they wanted and when I had a trial to be a kitchen hand I couldn't even cut freaking banana bread properly, and time is ticking I'm 20 years old and have no transferable skills, nothing I can put on my resume and be proud of. I just hate feeling so helpless, like I have nothing to offer and am simply just a burden on these employers. One of them nearly laughed in my face when he was interviewing, the falseness of their platitudes and their feigned sincerity when they reject me just makes me feel worse. I can handle a girl rejecting me just fine, I'm used to that, it's just with work I can't do anything. I just want to be normal.

kasey50 Just looking for some clarity
  • replies: 3

If I read what I am about to write I'd honestly feel like saying to the person, "people have got worse problems in the world, this is pathetic" and to also "get over themselves," but here I am. At the moment I am eighteen years old, I am a quiet intr... View more

If I read what I am about to write I'd honestly feel like saying to the person, "people have got worse problems in the world, this is pathetic" and to also "get over themselves," but here I am. At the moment I am eighteen years old, I am a quiet introverted person who has a passion for netball and I am currently working at Mcdonalds. There I do not get many shifts, so I am now struggling to find a new job, but still living at home. Home life is odd for me as I'm living with my sister of 25 and her family, where I sometimes often felt like I'm wanted only if I do jobs constantly. My sister does try to help me but we are two very different people, it often does not end well. I've found it hard not going to school anymore, I don't know what to do with myself. I've been in a relationship for almost 3 months now, but when I am not with him I feel neutral and unmotivated, is this unhealthy? I love him ALOT. All these things keep swirling in my head, I just want to wipe it all out, the only things that make me happy are sport and my boyfriend. Sometimes I don't even like hanging out with my friends much. I visited a psych. at the end of 2016 and early last year at headspace to help my anxiety and depression, I learnt alot about people and about myself during the sessions. But now I feel empty, I feel as if I am going around in circles, I keep clashing heads with my sister and almost everyone, I find myself frustrated and not able to remember short term things very well etc. etc. I'm trying to think of solutions like going back to headspace, maybe taking a break from my boyfriend after I talk to him or going back to New Zealand where my parent live to regain ground, if that makes sense. If anyone can relate or share advice, it would go a long way. Thanks for reading.

justwanttobehappy123 i hate my birthday
  • replies: 10

it’s my 18th birthday tomorrow and i feel like shit. i hate my birthday. yes i get a present from my parents and i’m sure my friends and boyfriend will get me something but my mum is sort of really encouraging (sort of forcing) me to have a birthday ... View more

it’s my 18th birthday tomorrow and i feel like shit. i hate my birthday. yes i get a present from my parents and i’m sure my friends and boyfriend will get me something but my mum is sort of really encouraging (sort of forcing) me to have a birthday dinner with my ‘close friends’ and it’s totallg stressing me out. everyone is coming but i haven’t hung out with my bestfriend from high school not at a party for a few months now, and my bestfriend is her bestfriend and they have totally stayed completely in touch and hang out all the time. my anxiety makes me feel like my friends don’t like me and i hate it. does anyone know how to overcome this? anyway back to the point, i’m totally stressing about my birthday and this dinner because i feel like everything just has to be good but at events like these i always feel insecure and get sad. but this time all the attention will be on me so i can’t be sad and i’m really stressing out because i don’t have anything to wear and i know i will feel insecure and i don’t want to freak out before or at my party. i don’t really know what i’m asking, i guess just for someone to talk to about this even though there’s not much more to say 🤷🏼‍🤦🏼‍

Kodybear00 New and need advice on anxiety at work
  • replies: 2

I have been struggling with what I think is anxiety since 2015 when I finished year 12. I never experience a panic attack (only smaller anxiety symptoms) until December last year. I had one right before I was suppose to go to my new job and I can’t e... View more

I have been struggling with what I think is anxiety since 2015 when I finished year 12. I never experience a panic attack (only smaller anxiety symptoms) until December last year. I had one right before I was suppose to go to my new job and I can’t explain how horrible I felt. I felt sick to the core and I couldn’t breathe. I’ve since been at this job for 1-2 weeks and today when I got into the office I had the same sick feeling and sense of fear. When I finally went on my lunch break I called my mum for advise and immediately after dialing I started to panic. Mum helped me through it and she told me to go and talk to my boss. I was so scared, more scared than i think I’ve ever been- but I like to think I’m a strong enough person so I wiped my tears took some deep breaths and walked in to her office. I immediately started to get upset again, because the fear of discussing this with my boss was so overmelhing. She asked if I was ok and I then started to explain my issue to her- mid sentence she cut me off and said “ I have a meeting in 1 minute so if you could go upstairs or whatever because I’m paying him hourly”. Quote exactly what she said. Mind you, I’m still quivering trying to explain what is happening. There was no expression on her face and whilst she was telling me about this meeting she got up and walked out towards the foyer area. Please tell me, am I wrong in saying that she handled it so unprofessional and that I have every right to hand in my resignation?? I know it probably seems that I’m over reacting but issues like this shouldn’t be palmed off and now I am more afraid to go into work than I ever was before! Can someone please tell me what to do from here? (Ps- if you’re going to suggest to try speak to her again please hold off because I don’t think that’s going to change how she would react!!!)

Vers Need advice on what to do next
  • replies: 2

m 19 years old, technically in my second year of uni even though i failed all of first year due to having a panic attack just before my first lot of exams and being unable to leave my room for the next week and a bit and then not being able to go bac... View more

m 19 years old, technically in my second year of uni even though i failed all of first year due to having a panic attack just before my first lot of exams and being unable to leave my room for the next week and a bit and then not being able to go back to uni for second sem without needing to throw up. and as you could imagine im just over everything. Im sick of waking up sad and im sick of doubting if my friends even want me around and im sick of not being able to even go to the shops without feeling judged for everything about myself. I've been dealing with anxiety for aslong as i can remeber and was "diagnosed" with "acute anxiety" when i was in year 3 or when i was 9years old. I have always gotten anxious about everything but lately the anxiety has been reaching boiling point and unless im drunk or i just can't stop myself from thinking negatively. Especially when i think about the future. Im always going to be compared to my brother who does engineering and is already heading towards his dream career while im just barely reaching matks that he could get in his sleep. Honestly all im doing is giving him something extra to worry about and putting him at a disadvantage. I'm sure if anyone actually reads this they will have read hundreds of others just like it and im sorry for wasting your time but i just straight up don't know what to do anymore. Im sick of disappointing everyone and myself but i have no idea what i should do to try and fix this. Any advice on how i can start to overcome this is appreciated..

Tahlia1 New Work is stressing me out!!
  • replies: 8

Hi to all, I'm currently 17 years of age, I started a new job recently. Its in the fast food industry. I have been there for 3.5 months and when I even think about going to work, I DREAD IT! When I arrive at work, I'm nervous and anxious the whole sh... View more

Hi to all, I'm currently 17 years of age, I started a new job recently. Its in the fast food industry. I have been there for 3.5 months and when I even think about going to work, I DREAD IT! When I arrive at work, I'm nervous and anxious the whole shift and I am confused why. Does anyone understand or know why this happens and have you ever felt like this. I'm not sure if I quit. If I do, I could potentially be on the DOLL and that isn't the best.

immy19 My dad is increasingly difficult and emotionally abusive
  • replies: 1

My parents have been divorced for 10 years now but it feels like yesterday they were just divorced. Over the past few months I've had to stop seeing my dad because he is unstable, narcissistic and blames my mum and me for all his mistakes. It started... View more

My parents have been divorced for 10 years now but it feels like yesterday they were just divorced. Over the past few months I've had to stop seeing my dad because he is unstable, narcissistic and blames my mum and me for all his mistakes. It started a little over 2 years ago when I had a massive anxiety attack and accidentally lashed out at him and he called the police, he has called the police on me and my mum at least 3 other times after that. He has been threatening to go back to court and sue mum for apparent centrelink fraud and to blame her for me choosing to not see him, which in his eyes mum has broken the law by going against stupid court orders. I keep telling myself that I need to see him to make him feel better but every time I do he breaks down or lashes out and I just go into flight mode because I'm to exhausted and empty to lash out. Everything I say to him goes in one ear and out the other and/or gets reverted back to mum. Mum's been really supportive and so have her friends but she's confusing and emotionally damaged as well. It's like WW3 to me. Some nights I can't sleep and others I just feel so numb it feels like I'm not even there and when I have really vivid dreams (almost every night) I wake up and hope to god it's not real. But what I don't understand is why he's so nice to me over phone and text but not in person. He wants the best for me yet I'm his punching bag. I'm only starting to realise who people really are and it hurts. I know I'm not lonely but I just feel I have nobody to call a close friend and I'm scared because I don't want a life like this. I don't even remember when my life wasn't like this. I hate myself for not being able to do better and I wish I had a normal family. I find comfort in masking myself online and becoming obsessed with TV characters or books and maybe that's why I'm letting myself down. I just wish my dad wasn't so difficult and I could be clear about my decision.

imogen1 anxiety about sleeping next to boyfriend
  • replies: 4

my boyfriend is visiting me from overseas in a few weeks and we have never slept in the same bed but decided we would this time for two weeks. im having a lot of anxiety about sleeping next to him because i have severe panic attacks and disassocitive... View more

my boyfriend is visiting me from overseas in a few weeks and we have never slept in the same bed but decided we would this time for two weeks. im having a lot of anxiety about sleeping next to him because i have severe panic attacks and disassocitive episodes, he knows this and says it's ok if we need to sleep separately sometimes but i really don't want to waste time doing that. i don't want to make him feel like a burden in my house, but when i think about sharing my bed with someone i feel nauseas. how can i confront this problem?

what_why Anyone else get this?
  • replies: 2

Lately I've been finding that out of nowhere I get angry at people (family, friends etc.) for things that I think they might do or are going to do rather than for what they have actually done or even for what they plan to do. For example, a small thi... View more

Lately I've been finding that out of nowhere I get angry at people (family, friends etc.) for things that I think they might do or are going to do rather than for what they have actually done or even for what they plan to do. For example, a small thing like being told to go to church by my Mum goes from me saying "Yeah sure" to thinking "What is she up to now, what have I done for her to want to reform me, am I not good enough unless I am some church going saint?" (I'm not really a believer and she knows this which is a touchy topic between me and her side of the family). The worst part is just when I'm imagining the epic and loud argument with her about how she thinks I'm some disappointment, she actually come out and says "You know what, don't worry you don't have to I can tell you don't want to". Then I'm left feeling shitty the rest of the day about what a spoiled brat I was for not even giving her or whoever orchestrated these imaginary slights, the benefit of the doubt. The weirdest part is this is all going on in my head, while this scenario was happening, in real life about 30 minutes passed by, where I ate and emptied the dishwasher. From her perspective it probably would've consisted of her asking, me reluctantly agreeing and then going off to what would have been a quiet and normal visit to church and home in time for dinner. Does anyone else experience this often or am I just an idiot who needs to chill out.

Lula94 Lonely and bored
  • replies: 3

Hi guys. Soo this is my first post and I don't really know what I'm doing. I've pretty much been bullied all my life, it's stopped now that I'm older but people still aren't very nice to me. It's really damaged my confidence though and every time I m... View more

Hi guys. Soo this is my first post and I don't really know what I'm doing. I've pretty much been bullied all my life, it's stopped now that I'm older but people still aren't very nice to me. It's really damaged my confidence though and every time I meet a new person I'm worried what they think of me. I'm super introverted and find it hard to talk to people, even people I know really well. The only person I feel like I can be myself around is my boyfriend, I'm usually funny and silly around him. I don't really have any 'real' friends, so when I'm not with my boyfriend I feel super lonely. No one ever makes an effort to message me or talk to me, and I only ever see my friends every now and then. I just wish I had a best friend. When I'm not doing something and just sitting around at home I find that I go into like a weird state where I legit can't sit still and will kinda pace around the house. If anyone has any ideas of fun activities I could do that would be great. I like going for walks but can never find the motivation to go on my own, and I also go to the gym but in between that and when I'm not working I just get super bored. I love being outdoors and doing things but my boyfriend never really thinks of anything to do, I'm always the one who has to come up with ideas. Idk I just feel so lonely in this life and feel like no one cares about me . I could literally disappear off the face of the Earth and I don't think anyone would notice. If you read all this, congratulations. Thank you.

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