I wasn't snooping but I wasnt happy with what I saw

[mycatrigby]

Hey, I'm a 19 year old female in a relationship of 4 months,

My boyfriend and I are very close and have no trust issues whatsoever but we always discuss if something is making us jealous or unhappy, so its pretty good communication so far, they only thing I'm slightly confused about is when we were scrolling through Facebook together, we went to search for something on there and I seen in his history he had been searching other females profiles, that he hasn't really got anything to do with as well as searching for "Girls Advice 18+" pages, I dont want to be weary of them just because I have no reason to but it was just really weird, and I dont know how to bring it up to him.. has anyone else been in this situation and what happened?

[geoff]

hello Mycatrigby, I think you have answered your own post because you say that you have no trust issues what so ever, until you've found these other female profiles lurking around on his facebook, well unless you ask him or start talking about this then it's only going to increase your anxiety, and that's not what you really want.
Turn this situation around and I'm sure he wouldn't be too pleased to know that you could be looking at other guys and would want it to stop.
There is no easy solution to this except to ask him straight out, 'why is he looking, I thought we had a great r/ship', be careful not to be conned into him saying 'he's looking for one of his mates', because a happy r/ship means that there is no reason to still go looking.
You must get this sorted out and I wish you the best. Geoff.

[romantic_thi3f]

Hi mycatrigby,

Thanks for your post.

Oh this is a tough one; you've been put in a tricky spot here because of search history!

I think the first thing here is to try not to jump to any conclusions; yes there may be other female profiles; but how do you know that he has nothing to do with them? Just because they aren't Facebook 'friends' doesn't necessarily mean he doesn't know them. There are always always reasons that are not what you think; so try to be open to them.

Girls Advice 18+ doesn't sound like a red flag to me personally; the key word being 'advice'. Even if it was 'hot girls' in a sense it could still not be a red flag, because looking at girls on the internet for guys can be equivalent to things like porn; it's not personal, just entertainment - and most importantly, it doesn't signify anything about your relationship. My friend went through the same thing.

I would bring it up to him in the same way you brought it up to us; 'hey that's odd - this came up'. This allows room for explanation but without putting pressure or jumping to the most awful conclusion. I say this because it's so easy to do and so confronting finding this stuff out; but try to imagine the best case scenario.

Hope this helps

[mycatrigby]

Thanks Geoff, was all good, just asked him about it and said I knew it was so tiny and I didn't care but I was making it a bigger problem in my head so i had to talk about it, he said he was just interested to see what the girls advice page was about which is in his humour to want to see what's on it, because to be honest I don't know either. All good now, my solution to these problems are easiest to bring it up with him no matter how small it may be... he's the only person I'll get a direct answer from 🙂

[mycatrigby]

Thanks, was all good, just asked him about it and said I knew it was so tiny and I didn't care but I was making it a bigger problem in my head so i had to talk about it, he said he was just interested to see what the girls advice page was about which is in his humour to want to see what's on it, because to be honest I don't know either. All good now, my solution to these problems are easiest to bring it up with him no matter how small it may be... he's the only person I'll get a direct answer from 🙂

[romantic_thi3f]

Hi mycatrigby,

Thanks for your post.

Ah that's great news! So glad to hear. Thanks for keeping us in the loop 🙂