I'm new (Rant)

RealBobby · ‎16-08-2017

Hi I'm new, my name is Bobby I'm 16 was born in Melbourne and moved to Sunshine Coast a few years ago. My first panic attack was in 2015 at school when we were discussing different illnesses I didn't know what going on but I saw a physiologist and found out it was a panic attack, I only had a few in 2015. Then since July 2016 I started having regular panic attacks every time I would go to play sport, I had no idea what to do but my body wouldn't let me go in any open spaces. This went on for a few months till I was diagnosed with agoraphobia, social anxiety disorder, GAD & OCD. On the 25th of November I was put in hospital for nearly seven weeks to gain weights which was supposed to make the anxiety go away but the when I left the hospital I had a really bad panic attack. And for the last 8 months or so my anxiety hasn't improved at all in fact I suspect it got worse being in a closed space for 7 weeks. I'm sick of making excuses at school as to why I can't play sport. I used to play a few sports but now because of my anxiety and because of all the weight I gained I can't be bothered playing again and have lost motivation to enjoy sport. I've seen so many physiologicals, they all the same thing: try deep breathing and ground yourself I do that every time and it NEVERS improves the anxiety. I'm on lots of medication which is supposed to help with my OCD but it's so bad, every time I hear lyrics of a song I count the syallbes it's so annoying. I'm also very anti social, always have been I guess I started at a new school this year and I have zero friends. I'm not sure whether this is depression related but I have no motivation to get up in the mornings, do any work at school or at home and sometimes I cry for hours non stop. To make matters worse I'm an only child so I spend almost all of my free time on the internet. Can anyone help?

blondguy · ‎16-08-2017

Hi Bobby

Welcome to the forums and good on you for posting too! Im really sorry to read that you are going through such a rough time. The crying is a common sign of a 'tired' and over sensitized mind. I also used to cry ....very regularly

Anxiety is a cruel condition to have...I understand where you are coming from as I had chronic anxiety in my 20's back in the 1980's and its a seriously debilitating place to be in.

Deep breathing can help but it never really helped me at all in my early stages of anxiety either.

It took me 13 years to understand that super frequent appointments with a good therapist was a huge way of finding some peace in my life. Like yourself I take my AD's every day and they have helped me big time. They are never a fix all though (as you know) unless we are having regular counseling at the same time.

I have depression now after the 13 years of anxiety attacks and its great that most of the anxiety has gone away

Super frequent counseling may help you find the key to having less anxiety in your life Bobby....seriously

Just FYI I still see my GP every 4 weeks for a 'tune up' if my thinking goes the wrong way....When I had your level of anxiety and GAD I had to see a community mental health care worker every week for 7 months...He gave me my life back

There are many gentle people that also have similar levels of anxiety, GAD and OCD that can be here for you 🙂

The forums are also a non judgemental place for you too......We can offer you support without judgement

my kind thoughts for you

Paul

BballJ · ‎16-08-2017

Hi RealBobbyWilson,

Firstly, welcome to the forums.

Sorry to read what you have been through it does seem a lot for a 16 year old to deal with. I am glad you have seen doctors however as many people struggle with that initial step and even speaking about it here is great work as again many people struggle just speaking about how they are feeling.

blondguy (Paul) posted some great advice above and I cannot recommend enough how valuable his advice is when dealing with anxiety. He has helped many people including myself, I am a long term anxiety sufferer as well so I know how tough it can be and only recently found out, I may have a form of OCD it has almost taken over so I can 100% understand where you are coming from. We can't diagnose if it is depression or anything as we are not trained professionals. May I ask a question, are you still currently seeing a psychologist? I know you said you have tried many but with the ones you have seen, did you find you clicked with them as in you felt you could talk to them about anything? That is a big key to having successful counselling session, have a psych you can relate too and connect with and feel comfortable telling them how you are feeling and not holding back.

Please, feel free to post back as much as you wish, we are always here to talk.

My best for you,

Jay

MsPurple · ‎16-08-2017

Hi RealBobbyWilson and welcome to the forums.

Paul has given you some great suggestions and advice. I too try to see my GP regularly as they monitor my medication and check my overall health. I also try see a psychologist regularly to deal with my anxious thoughts and to just talk to someone that is non-judgemental and understanding.

I am guessing you have tried a few things. I'll just put a few that I find help me. I have tried meditation, I use the app calm but others use apps like headspace and smiling minds. I find it beneficial because my anxiety is more general and I get lots of racing thoughts. This helps me stop the racing thoughts and focus on the now and to focus on my body. I also try makesure I do self care. I have a bath, read a book and go to the gym. Yes I struggle when my mood is down to go to the gym but I try have a bath to stop me being sad and sorry in my bed.

I am not sure if this suggestion will be helpful but have you heard of the youth mental health service called headspace? They have a range of services from counselling, online e-counselling and support and they have GP and psychiatrists. I know you already have a dr but I thought I might suggest headsapce anyway as it is a youth environment and I know when I was struggling at uni I felt I needed something that was in my age bracket to help make me feel comfortable. Some headspace centres also do group sessions and events so that may help you socialize and you'll know that everyone else is understanding of mental health. It may help with confidence.

I also want to let you know it can take some time to find the right psychologist/counselor/therapist that works for you. When I was 15 I had to swap psychologists because I wasn't gelling with the first one, I then got an amazing one that really got through to me and I finally started to respond to therapy. Unfortunately it takes time but for me I was glad I decided to give another therapist a go.

MP

RealBobby · ‎17-08-2017

Yes, headspace is exactly the place I've been going to and so far it hasn't helped

MsPurple · ‎17-08-2017

Im sorry you haven't found headspace beneficial. Unfortunately OCD does have a bit longer a recovery to some other anxiety disorders. It may just require more counseling and for a moment to click. When I was struggling with my ED I felt like I was going now where mentally. Yes I had gained a little weight (not enough but a good sign) but mentally I was still anorexic. All of a sudden what the psychologist said finally clicked and from then on I started to get better with regular therapy. It took me a while. Maybe you just need more time. And I know it's really frustrating. I've been there. But the destination is worth the wait.

I've got a different idea that may help, but may also seem silly to you. Sometimes when I'm really anxious I watch a my favourite childhood movie. I watch something that I used to watch before all my anxieties started. It makes me feel like I am back to being that happy little kid. I feel safe and less stressed. Maybe something like this could help. When I watch movies like that I get all the emotions I felt when I was a kid. It maybe worth something to try. I usually go for something light. I watched the arnold swatzenega (sp) movie called Junior and Kindergarten cop.