My Mum is a Monster

[sometimesiwanttodisappear]

I really want help. I feel so lonely these days. My mum is always putting me down and comparing me to other people my age that have done more successful things than I. To get the idea of it all, I left school when I was 15 (due to bullying and mental health reasons), I am totally friendless and to be honest i don't really do much besides stay at home. I have extremely bad depression yet my mother is making it worse by telling me why cant I be like her or why am I so lazy. Other than that my parents are always fighting over money. I honestly feel so ashamed of myself, to see other 17 and 18 year olds that I once knew getting a Dux award at school. I haven't even finished school! I just want to rot away from this body and become fecal matter of some sort of weird bird.

My mum just makes me want to disappear. She never listens to me and she always makes me cry myself to sleep. Can someone please help me. I just don't want to be here anymore.

[sometimesiwanttodisappear]

Thank you for your reply. It nice to know that I'm not alone. I have no friends and i feel I cant make any because my depression stops me from wanting to socialize. I just feel so stuck and alone. I hope you have a nice day.

[Doolhof]

Hi Sometimes,

It is the weekend. Do you have any plans at all? Sometimes even just writing down things you might like to do can help us to feel encouraged to achieve something.

A friend has invited me to join her in attending an Open Garden. Part of me wants to go, the depressed part of me wants me to stay home and do nothing. So I am going to push myself to go.

Next week I am also going to push myself to find some kind of work placement position or at least some more volunteer work.

It is not easy finding the determination, motivation and the effort to do these things. I don't like the alternative though!

Hopefully you can find ways to motivate yourself to do something.

From your first post, it sounds like you are still at school. Does that mean you are currently doing exams or are about to? If so, then I wish you all the best.

Hope you can find something different to do this weekend.

Cheers to you from Dools