Why does nobody like me?

[Mikki553]

I am fat, I have come to those terms, everyone in my family constantly mentions that Im fat no one will like me! It hurts, I am crying most days and nights thinking that Im going to be alone. I have tried to eat healthy and loose weight but nothing helps. I recently fell for this guy, I thought everything was okay but he told me that he could never like me because of my weight, It hurt because I thought we were on good terms. It just turns out that he used me to get to my friend who he liked. I am constantly being told that Im not fat, but ik what i look like in the mirror!! it sucks and i have no support.

I rewrote this like 10 times trying to build up the courage to post, i hope this helps people who are in the same boat to know that its okay to feel down sometimes, i do, but i pick myself up and continue even though most days its hard i try

[Lalalooloo]

Hello,
Let's remove the word fat, your not fat, your body has fat yes and our bodies need fat to survive, I think curvy is a nicer word and I think being curvy is fabulous and you should own it. I just want to give you a big hug and say your amazing, we all come in different shapes and sizes and that's ok, it's about being healthy and you can be curvy and healthy. Please have a serious chat with your family, I know that they love you, but you need to explain how your feeling and how their words hurt. There are loads of amazing curvy women in the world, I just found an article in Marie Claire on plus sized models -  check it out.

When you hear that voice in your head giving yourself a hard time, please !! talk to yourself the same way you'd speak to a friend if he or she was going through the same thing, be kind to yourself

cheers Lisa

[BluBelle]

Hey Mikki. I'm fat too, and like you it took me a while to embrace that word. I can tell when I use it to describe myself that I make people uncomfortable, and often their reaction is to reassure me. I think it is because "fat" has become synonymous with negative traits - lazy, ugly, stupid, smelly, weak. It's just an adjective really, I'm fat the same way I am short, tanned and brunette. The way our bodies are shaped has no bearing on how smart we are, how kind we are, how loving and worthy of love we are. There are guys out there who are not physically attracted to larger bodies. That's ok, there are some physical features that I'm not attracted to as well. It's very, very hard not to take rejection personally and internalise it as shame and hatred. I have been yelled at from passing cars and had family members make negative comments about my weight too. I want to tell them - don't you think I know? Any awful thing you tell me, I've already told myself on a daily basis. I've had to bear endless public humiliations - buzzing the flight attendant to get a seatbelt extender on flights, being asked to leave a carnival ride because the safety harness wouldn't do up over my belly, watching disappointment cross the face of first dates I've met online when they see me. If I could snap my fingers tomorrow and wake up skinny, I'd do it. But diets don't work and my PCOS hormones are actively working against me so I figure I have two choices - spend my entire life hating myself for how I look, or trying to love who I am and not let it hold me back from a full, well-rounded life. Honestly, some days that choice seems impossible - but I keep trying. There are some really strong, positive communities for fat people online, like the Healthy At Every Size movement. That's a good place to go if you feel alone. Good health includes mental as well as physical.

[quirkywords]

Mikki, welcome to this forum.

As you can see from the replies so far how kind, friendly and supportive this community is.

Lalalooloo and Bluebelle have written very supportive and helpful comments.

It is frustrating when one is judged on how one looks not on who one is , what type of person someone is.

I am so glad you decided to press the reply button. By sharing your story you have helped others.

If you browse other threads you may find there are some threads you may relate.

There are males who will see beyond your weight and see what a kind person you are.

The thing is if you did lose weight and a boy only wanted to be your friend because you have lost weight, is that the sort of person you want to be friends with.

Bluebelle , you have written a very honest and moving post, and I find it sad that you have to put with people humiliating you just because of your weight.

Quirky

[zoeoe]

Yo,

I can definitely relate, I'm overweight. The thing is, though, someone WILL love you for who you are, you just need to find someone who is willing to look past your weight and see you for the wonderful person you are, not for a number on scale. It is hard to lose weight, and as long as you're healthy it doesn't matter how much you weigh. You can't spend your entire life being bummed about the way your body looks, own it!