I've been starting to feel really ugly

[zoeoe]

We all have days where we don't like what we see in the mirror, but it's becoming consistent. Everyday I look in the mirror and I don't like what I see at all. I don't know what to do? I'm a firm believer that nobody is ugly, nobody CAN be ugly since we're all different - there is no one perfect person, but I forget all about that when I see myself. I don't think that other people think I'm ugly, it's just that I think I'm ugly. I also have a problem with the way my body looks. I'm a little chubby and my body shape isn't the most desirable. My arms are too thick and make me look disproportionate. I have a slight double chin (slight). It's really taking a toll on my self esteem and I really don't know what to do anymore. I feel like a 2/10 everyday.

[Croix]

Dear Zoeoe~

I can't find you other post so will have to treat this as your first - so Welcome Here!

I guess I can start off by giving you the logical facts - which no doubt will not have much effect, but at least you will have somebody else saying them.

We live in an age of movies, TV and advertisements, not to mention social media and catalogues. Umpteen years ago some bright spark found that if you have the most attractive people in those things you sell more (tickets, magazines, pet food, everything). So there they are, and we become accustomed to seeing them, then going further and regarding them as the standard - which is pretty silly, you only have to look along a busy street to see the standard, which is not the same at all.

So you applying unreasonable standards to yourself - there I said you would take no heed - sigh.

OK now for real facts you may actually agree with. A person's attractiveness is not just looks, sure it can play a part, especially at the start, but it is their nature, if they are happy and fun, reliable and sensible, and most of all if occasionally their smile is radiant and lights up their face, then that is a winner.

When you are truly happy that smile will come, and it is magic. Both my partners had/have that. Rare but wonderful.

You don't know what to do, OK. Well don't diet, a recipe for failure and the dumps. Find things you enjoy, from dancing to ... well you would know I don't. Do them wholeheartedly and gain enjoyment, happiness and satisfaction from them. It is infectious.

Does any of this make any sense?

Croix (whose avatar picture is downright flattering)

[Just_another_guy]

G'day Zoeoe.

Welcome to the BB forums, hopefully your time here is a helpful one.

Now the issue you have here seems to be confidence. Now since I'm not a female (and I assume you are due to your name), I cannot necessarily know what it's like to have a female body and the self perspective that comes with it. But, as someone who considers himself an average looking bloke, you just need to be comfortable. I have a very single minded view when it comes to body image, because I used to be a skinny, bony boy but my view is that if you see yourself as ugly. Change it. But don't go overboard with it. Exercise and eating well always helps, but also be aware of your social and mental health. If you still think you're ugly, look for the positives. There are men out there who like slightly bigger women. And if that's what you think is a problem, then you may just need to embrace the reality of things.

It's tough to talk about body image because the reasons behind someone feeling a certain way about themselves can be, convoluted at the best of times.

My point is, it's tough to see something in the mirror that you constantly resent. I know, but the best way to get out of that mind set is to either fix or accept in my opinion.

Hopefully you find this helpful.

Sincerely,

Just Another Guy.