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BeyondBlue New to this Forum? Please read this first!
  • replies: 0

Hey there! Welcome to the Young People section of the Beyond Blue Forums. The purpose of this section is to provide members aged 25 and under a space to discuss life issues, tricky situations and the difficult emotions and feelings that come with tho... View more

Hey there! Welcome to the Young People section of the Beyond Blue Forums. The purpose of this section is to provide members aged 25 and under a space to discuss life issues, tricky situations and the difficult emotions and feelings that come with those. If you are aged over 25, please be mindful that this is a space for younger people to connect and provide support for each other. These forums are moderated, so your posts may not appear straight away. Information on moderation on the Forums can be found here. Being familiar with our Community Guidelines can help ensure that your posts appear online as quickly as possible. If we have concerns about your wellbeing, one of our friendly moderators will check in with you privately to make sure you get the support you need. If you need more immediate support, we recommend reaching out to the following: Beyond Blue Support Service – any time, chat online to a counsellor or call 1300 22 4636 Headspace – between 9am and 1am (AEST), chat online to a mental health clinician or call 1800 650 890 Kids Helpline – any time, chat online to a counsellor or call 1800 55 1800 Thank you for being here. We’re glad you’ve found us here and hope this can be a supportive space for you Beyond Blue

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MrUmbreon Work is making me depressed but I need the job
  • replies: 2

So I started my first job in over a year just over a week ago, and it's not making me happy, it's making me depressed, normally I love work, but this job is just taking it out of me. On my day's off I'm not happy, I am worried about what the next wor... View more

So I started my first job in over a year just over a week ago, and it's not making me happy, it's making me depressed, normally I love work, but this job is just taking it out of me. On my day's off I'm not happy, I am worried about what the next work day will bring, the things that used to bring me joy don't anymore. I try to keep up the pace but I fall behind and I feel worse about myself than I already do, and I am only a Kitchen Hand, I can't find any other work as I don't know other job fields, here I am 24, working a job I hate and I live at home. I want to quit but I know Centerlink doesn't count mental health reasons as valid for leaving a job, besides I need the money to get my phone fixed anyway and to pay rent. I just feel so helpless and pathetic about this, and I don't know what to do, I quit I'm screwed, I stay and I risk a mental breakdown. Any advice would be appreciated, thank you

imagine1101 Insecurity in romantic relationships
  • replies: 3

Hi everyone, I feel really stupid because I've never done this before but this is easier than talking to someone in person. I'll try and type this calmly. I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years now and he is everything I could ever ask for. He is ... View more

Hi everyone, I feel really stupid because I've never done this before but this is easier than talking to someone in person. I'll try and type this calmly. I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years now and he is everything I could ever ask for. He is so ridiculously loving and supportive and had a crush on me for two years before I even started talking to him. He has never given me any reason whatsoever to doubt his loyalty or love. For some reason, none of this matters to my stupid brain. I feel completely worthless and fake, panicking because it feels like it's only a matter of time before he realises I'm not as amazing as he thinks I am. I'm terrified of being with him around other girls because he might see someone and realise I'm not attractive at all and this has led to periods where I've avoided going out in public with him completely. I obsessively stalk the social media of anyone I know he has previously had a crush on (I'm his first girlfriend) which I know makes everything worse because I feel like I can never measure up and that he wishes he was with them instead of me. I am even worried that he'll start liking my (much) younger sister, purely because she is female and we look vaguely similar, or even that he wants to date his friends' girlfriends. I get so so so scared that I'm not what he really wants and that he's just dating me because I was nice to him and therefore a safe option. I have breakdowns almost every time I see him because I feel like I'm not attractive or kind or talented enough or anything that anyone could ever want. He constantly compliments and reassures me but I can never believe anything he says because I don't think anything good about myself is true. I talk to him about most of this because I have a constant need for reassurance. I feel like such a burden and I often work myself up to the point of begging him to break up with me so that he doesn't have to suffer anymore and he can go find someone worthwhile, but he always refuses. I know this really hurts him but I honestly can't stop myself from doing it, I just want him to be happy and I feel like I'm too much of an emotional strain. I love him more than anything but I feel myself becoming more and more toxic and I don't want to drag him down with me. Do you think I should take a break from our relationship until I can sort my emotions out or should we work through it together? No pressure to reply, I just needed to vent. Thank you so much.

Lyf_is_hard Trouble with mental illness
  • replies: 2

So for the longest time i was interested heavily in computers and electronics. I have been diagnosed with Asperger syndrome and this was my obsessive interest that i had. Although as i grew up in recent years (currently 15) i have lost almost all int... View more

So for the longest time i was interested heavily in computers and electronics. I have been diagnosed with Asperger syndrome and this was my obsessive interest that i had. Although as i grew up in recent years (currently 15) i have lost almost all interest in this area. Along with my Asperger syndrome i have also been diagnosed with Anxiety, OCD and Depression. This combination has become completely overpowering in recent years to the point were i cant even close the door without going through a mental check list to make sure everything has been done right and nothing will ever spark a question from anyone. My OCD is rapidly becoming a massive issue. It's making its way into every aspect of my life. My OCD started out as a small minor thing like making sure all of the blinds in the house are closed fully or open all the way. But in recently it has come to the point were i cant even check my phone without it occurring. If i get a notification on my phone i will swipe down to check it, dismiss it, check again and repeat checking another two or three times. Then i will go into settings to make sure my ringer volume is all the way down. I will do this two or three times as well. Then i will lock and unlock the phone about three times to make sure nothing is running in the background. That was just one example but it extends to all matters of life in a similar matter. I have suffered HOCD which is a form of OCD that constantly makes you consider your sexuality. I know that i am straight and have no attraction to men in any form however my physiological OCD obsesses over this and i spend probably four or five hours thinking about this everyday. Most of my day is taken up by mental contemplation and mind traffic as i like to call it. I constantly think about everything and obsess over things exactly like this. I constantly think about the same thing or repeat words in my head thousands of times. I have repetitive images my myself getting injured in car crashes or other physically damaging scenarios. This came on about two and a half years ago and has been in my mind everyday for at least two plus hours. It never used to be this way but i consider mental obsessions like thinking about the same thing over and over again day after day to be my biggest issue right now. Please help me understand what is going on. Thanks.

Chelsea l HELP! My school is trying to force me into getting up on stage
  • replies: 10

I’m new to this, so hi I’m chelsea, I was diagnosed with Depression and anxiety 3 years ago, when I was 15 years old,I’m 18 now and my school is trying to force me into getting up on stage with all the other graduates and I’m not ready for it. I’ve s... View more

I’m new to this, so hi I’m chelsea, I was diagnosed with Depression and anxiety 3 years ago, when I was 15 years old,I’m 18 now and my school is trying to force me into getting up on stage with all the other graduates and I’m not ready for it. I’ve slowly been able to help myself so now I have no issues with getting up in front of 15-20 people, but their trying to make me get up infront of my entire school, which goes from ages 15-18, which calculated, is about 400 people, I’m literally struggling to write this because I’m crying and shaking, And I’m annoyed because I’ve had 2 anxiety attacks this year, when I haven’t had any issues with it since I was 16, even with moving to a completely new school at 17. I just would really appreciate if somebody could give me some advice on how to explain this to my principle, cause it’s nit just the anxiety, I hate having to get up on stage because I don’t like the way I look.

IsolatedStudent Mixed feelings about social interactions
  • replies: 3

Hi all, I'm a First Year University student and, as the title suggests, feel confused about my social interactions. I know there are people who describe themselves as either an extrovert or an introvert, but I have no idea. I feel completely fine bei... View more

Hi all, I'm a First Year University student and, as the title suggests, feel confused about my social interactions. I know there are people who describe themselves as either an extrovert or an introvert, but I have no idea. I feel completely fine being in a solitary environment, but when I see people I recognise hanging out with their own group of friends, I feel a small pang of jealousy for not being a part of that. Some days I feel like I can talk to anyone, while others I just feel like hiding in my room. I also find that my mood is heavily affected by my social interactions. Although I said earlier that I'm fine in solitude, sometimes I get a sudden sense of loneliness and just long for social interactions. However, depending on how that interaction goes, it can either make or break my day. If I think a social interaction went well, I'd be happy for the rest of the day. If not, then vice versa. I just feel so confused right now! What's wrong with me?? I feel so abnormal about this simple concept. Sorry if this seemed like a rant. Any tips or advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!

Elizabeth_H I'm in love with my engaged ex best friend
  • replies: 1

Hi, I'm Elizabeth. Before I get started about my story I'm going to warn you it is something that feels like it is out of a movie and it sucks. Alright, it all starts back in high school when I met my best friend. Let's call him (James). We were best... View more

Hi, I'm Elizabeth. Before I get started about my story I'm going to warn you it is something that feels like it is out of a movie and it sucks. Alright, it all starts back in high school when I met my best friend. Let's call him (James). We were best friends when we were 15 all up until we were 20. At first, I didn't have feelings for him (or at least I don't think I did). At the end of our last year of high school, he told me he was gay. Which I was and still totally fine with. However, everything changed when we went to college and we met a few more friends (that were all girls). A year went past and it was great I don't think I could've been happier with my group of friends. That was until our final year in college where James and our other friend (one of the girls, let's call her Sera) started doing a VET course together, Which was fine with. Until they started getting really close with one another. I didn't think anything of it at first and I might just be a tad jealous because I was his best friend. Then out of the blue James was in a relationship with Sera!! I felt so hurt and I thought that was because I felt he lied to me. Fast forward a month into their relationship and they decided the next year they would be having a baby. I got angry and told them it was a bad idea due to none of them had an income and they both still lived with their parents. (and they were 18) So Sera and I had a falling out for a year where we didn't talk to one another. But James and I were still best friends. After a year Sera and I made up. Because James had a hard time separating his life. I fixed it for him. Fast forward another year and Sera and James are engaged......that hurt really bad. I hated my 20th birthday because they got engaged a few days before. It was terrible.....that's when it occurred to me...I was in love with James. Fast forward another year...tensions in our friend group were rising. I knew Sera always saw me as a threat and it was no surprise when my other friend in the group told me about how everyone else gossiped about how I loved James... I don't think he believed it. A fight broke out over inbox, so I decided to address the problem. By the end of it, I left the group. I didn't tell anyone that they were right. but I was just so done with it. I don't think I could have watched him marry her...I think my heart would've just shattered. Now it's been nearly nine months and I miss him so much. Does anyone have any tips to make it go away?

firstname_lastname I just opened up notepad and started writing
  • replies: 1

i feel like im scared to lose her but only when she wants to end it and im not happy with her when im with her because she bosses me around and i never have my say but its not her fault because i never say anything it just my problem, i also like to ... View more

i feel like im scared to lose her but only when she wants to end it and im not happy with her when im with her because she bosses me around and i never have my say but its not her fault because i never say anything it just my problem, i also like to think i have a problem so people will care about me and i dont like her because shes put on weight and i feel like a bad person because i think that way and now im just saying im a bad person so people will care about me and im only writing this part because i want someone to read it and sympathise with me. i want everyone to like me even though im a very judgmental person and i aslo lie alot to try and make myself feel good and look perfect in other peoples eyes. i think i am a fake, everytime i say something bad about myself i think it is just so someone will care for me. I expect her to be perfect even though im not. I don't think i have anything wrong with me because i just make this stuff up in my head so people will care. I am the biggest coward anyone wil ever meet i can bully people when im in a group but on my own id be scared and run i could never stick up for myself verbally or physically, I think im better than everyone else. i dont feel any emotion to anything im just cold. Im generally an upbeat person but once something goes slightly negative i just crumble into a pile of shit. I hate the word love i think is so cringy im sweating so much while writing this. I know people will read this and think i have a problem but i don't im just a bad person. I keep thinking about posting this somewher but it would only be for attention anyway. oh well screw it

sdona49 Struggling with Health Anxiety
  • replies: 1

Hey everyone I am 24 and have been struggling recently with health anxiety. I have always struggled with anxiety and stress all my life but this time it feels like nothing before. I am currently medicated and going in for CT scans do to neck pain and... View more

Hey everyone I am 24 and have been struggling recently with health anxiety. I have always struggled with anxiety and stress all my life but this time it feels like nothing before. I am currently medicated and going in for CT scans do to neck pain and headaches. I have also gotten a care plan for physio for my neck which has been plaguing me for 2 months now. It started 2 months ago when I underwent a medication change due to unwelcome symptoms of then and current anti depressant. I tried a new anti depressant that did nothing for my anxiety and led me down a spiral of panic attacks and unmanageable anxiety. After 4 weeks of suffering I went back to my old anti depressant and made an appointment with a psychiatrist. Due to that experience I underwent extreme stress as well which led to all these new aches and pains I was not aware of before. That then led to me self diagnosing and more anxiety. I have done my best to manage and try stay away from Dr Google but I must share my symptoms as they make we worrisome. I have noticed of recent that when reading with my mind eye I will finish a sentence and get stuck on the last word. It will be a struggle to get that last word read with my minds eye. Like pushing against a wall and it will take a few seconds to overcome that wall. It doesn't happen with all sentences but enough to make me anxious. Due to this I have convinced myself of having Brain cancer or CJD. I'm on the verge of trying to get a spinal tap just for anxieties sake. I have also noticed I push my tongue on the roof of my mouth and clench my jaw. I feel like my concentration is being hindered at times and my attention is easily lost. My forearms feel weak and sometimes struggle to find the words to say, stuttering or mispronouncing words. My mind just feels like it is not like it was before this experience. A little mushy at times. It does bring me some relief writing all this but I need to find better ways to manage this experience if it is stress and anxiety related. I would like to know if some people out there experience similar symptoms as this would bring me the most comfort knowing I'm not alone. Thank you for hearing me out!

kebabeater Feeling Alone and Insecure...
  • replies: 1

I am a 17 year old girl and recently I broke up with my boyfriend of one and a half years. I am really struggling not only to move on as I have so many insecurities from within myself but I am struggling to fall out of love because despite all the fi... View more

I am a 17 year old girl and recently I broke up with my boyfriend of one and a half years. I am really struggling not only to move on as I have so many insecurities from within myself but I am struggling to fall out of love because despite all the fighting between me and him and the verbal abuse he put me through I still love him and can't seem to get him out of my head as I feel like I will never be able to get any better than him.

pluro Responsibility & Freedom
  • replies: 5

Hello, I'm just curious about a few things and confused as to what I should do about them. I've never had any issues with my parents before, and we've never really fought before, but I don't think my relationship with them is very good. We're not clo... View more

Hello, I'm just curious about a few things and confused as to what I should do about them. I've never had any issues with my parents before, and we've never really fought before, but I don't think my relationship with them is very good. We're not close at all, and I tell my parents basically nothing that's going on within my life. I'm trying to fix that part, like telling them about my friends and school stuff, etc. One of the issues from this however is that I don't really have any responsibility. They don't and have never given me chores my entire life, they don't really put restrictions on many things I do (they let me stay on the internet as long as I want, let me sleep as long as I want, even let me take random days off school, and many other things). They don't let me clean my own room, they just say they'll do it themselves at some point. I don't get bad consequences for anything I do either (usually just a warning to not do it again). I've always thought this was a good thing I guess, but they also never taught me much. I'm only realising this now because many of my peers in my grade have certain skill sets that I lack, and I'm struggling to keep up in school because of it. I'm trying to teach all these things to myself, but I'm struggling a lot. I have no time management skills, it's terrible because I can't get enough stuff done and my grades are suffering because of it. I know how to cook a few things, sew a button, do my laundry, and other things but I learnt all that by myself or from the internet. Thinking about it now, if I didn't have the internet, I'd probably be a brainless blob, so I'm grateful for that. Something I find really weird though is that they don't let me do many things when it comes to going outside the house. They don't let me walk to school on my own (my school is a kilometre away, very close), they don't let me cook if they're not in the house, they don't let me anywhere outside of my house unless it's school, they're with me, or I'm at a friend's house that they dropped me off to. And they have to know the exact time to be picked up, constantly calling me and stuff like that. I've never found it strange until now, when I hear about my friends getting more freedom in regards to that sort of thing. It can get frustrating. Is this something I should be worried about? Am I over-exaggerating? Is this an issue I should discuss with my parents or figure out on my own? My word count's running out sooo... (thanks if you reply)

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