Young people

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BeyondBlue New to this Forum? Please read this first!
  • replies: 0

Hey there! Welcome to the Young People section of the Beyond Blue Forums. The purpose of this section is to provide members aged 25 and under a space to discuss life issues, tricky situations and the difficult emotions and feelings that come with tho... View more

Hey there! Welcome to the Young People section of the Beyond Blue Forums. The purpose of this section is to provide members aged 25 and under a space to discuss life issues, tricky situations and the difficult emotions and feelings that come with those. If you are aged over 25, please be mindful that this is a space for younger people to connect and provide support for each other. These forums are moderated, so your posts may not appear straight away. Information on moderation on the Forums can be found here. Being familiar with our Community Guidelines can help ensure that your posts appear online as quickly as possible. If we have concerns about your wellbeing, one of our friendly moderators will check in with you privately to make sure you get the support you need. If you need more immediate support, we recommend reaching out to the following: Beyond Blue Support Service – any time, chat online to a counsellor or call 1300 22 4636 Headspace – between 9am and 1am (AEST), chat online to a mental health clinician or call 1800 650 890 Kids Helpline – any time, chat online to a counsellor or call 1800 55 1800 Thank you for being here. We’re glad you’ve found us here and hope this can be a supportive space for you Beyond Blue

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simple114141 Friends? Advice?
  • replies: 4

So I am almost done with second year of uni and I don't have friends, which is kind of embarrassing really. I wasn't able to develop the skills of making friends back in high school and once I entered uni, its kind of overwhelming. Even now. I see pe... View more

So I am almost done with second year of uni and I don't have friends, which is kind of embarrassing really. I wasn't able to develop the skills of making friends back in high school and once I entered uni, its kind of overwhelming. Even now. I see people as those who I meet and greet. They are considered a classmate, a workmate, somebody who I work with. It does not get further than that. Once I am left with free time, I feel as though I am left with nothing and nobody to turn to except one close family member but they are not there with me all the time. By now everyone has settled into uni and here I am, just a student here to study and nothing more is left to do. How do I put myself more out there? I am shy and socially awkward, so why would people want to continue talking to me in the first place. It difficult to become accepted into a group and it is even harder for me to maintain a friendship with a single person. I don't want to appear clingy to others. But here is one good piece of news, a classmate has invited me to tea and it is going to be a one-on-one conversation. I know that this is a common situation and I am making it sound like its a big deal. But what should I talk about over tea without making myself seem so awkward. What should I do after tea? Thanks if you read this

JacksonZ Feeling trapped in marriage
  • replies: 1

After separating several weeks ago, my wife rang to ask that we get back together and try to make it work. After 4 weeks we did move back in together. She said that she had anxiety and depression issues she wanted to deal with first, ie “me first” sh... View more

After separating several weeks ago, my wife rang to ask that we get back together and try to make it work. After 4 weeks we did move back in together. She said that she had anxiety and depression issues she wanted to deal with first, ie “me first” she said. The trouble is I don’t know where that leaves us or me. I suggested relationships counseling but she wants to deal with herself first. The end result is that I’m feeling anxious and unresolved. I don’t know what she wants or how she really feels. When I try to raise “us” as a subject she defaults to raising the issues that caused us to split up, which I feel is going over old ground. She is also notably unaffectionate. I want to know where we stand. How long can I keep ‘spinning my wheels ‘ awaiting some outcome.

startingnew Is it selfish to want a break?
  • replies: 22

Hi Everyone I work as an in-home/live-in carer (so am 'on duty' 24/7), help care for siblings (every morning for school runs, some afternoons, usually at least one day of a weekend, and school holidays i have them more often than not ) Ive also had t... View more

Hi Everyone I work as an in-home/live-in carer (so am 'on duty' 24/7), help care for siblings (every morning for school runs, some afternoons, usually at least one day of a weekend, and school holidays i have them more often than not ) Ive also had to take on abit of a side job for a few hrs every second day as finances are really tight atm. I know others have it much worse than i do, so i feel really awful for even wanting a break. I was told by a few people offline that i should be spending as much time with family as possible because im lucky to have one and my aged family member wont last forever. I am grateful to have a family but with the constant caring for everyone, i feel its starting to take its taking its own toll on top of my mh and physical conditions. I have been a carer or a 'helper' as long as i can remember and jumped straight from school into another caring role, whilst still keeping the previous commitments and/or adding new ones. Each time i meantion something that doesnt suit my families lifestyle (mind you its only me, anyone else they are supportive of) it ends in an argument or just goes well with my inner self that says i really dont deserve or need a break so shut down. So im wondering if it is selfish to want to just take a few days off or try to have a day or 2 off a week? Is it selfish to want to want to see abit more than just my local area and explore other options for life rather than just caring for others? I am pretty conflicted at the moment.

lucy9182 should I move back to my old school
  • replies: 5

hi, im Lucy and I'm in year 9, I just move to a new school this year. at the start I hated it but as the year went on it was good because I meet new people who're amazing and great friends, but all throughout the year I have had the choice to move ba... View more

hi, im Lucy and I'm in year 9, I just move to a new school this year. at the start I hated it but as the year went on it was good because I meet new people who're amazing and great friends, but all throughout the year I have had the choice to move back to my old school if I don't like the new one because the only reason I moved schools was because my mum moved in with her boyfriend on the other side of town. my dad still lives near my old school and is the one that has given me the option to move back because mum made me move school in the first place. at the start of the year when dad first offered me this I really wanted to go back bacuse I missed all my old friends that I had known all my life but then I decided to give this school chance and I did and loved it for a while. now im miserable because my friend group has fallen apart and I really want to move back to my old school, the only problem is that mum and dad live about and hour and a half away from each other, I just got a job that I don't want to quit and I have built myself a little bit of a life over here I don't know what to do but i really need help deciding

Guest_000 Want to make friends but feel awkward, insecure and lonely
  • replies: 1

Hi people, Since its getting to the end of the year again, I began to feel more lonely/sad because I feel like I haven't changed anything from previous years. I'm currently in year 11 and in previous years I also didn't feel happy because I wasn't ab... View more

Hi people, Since its getting to the end of the year again, I began to feel more lonely/sad because I feel like I haven't changed anything from previous years. I'm currently in year 11 and in previous years I also didn't feel happy because I wasn't able to make any close friends - feels like my current friends and I dont have much in common and they don't care much about me. I also felt worse because people made an effort to get to know me but because they were outgoing I felt intimidated and insecure because I was scared that they were making fun of me when they said hi to me...smh. So I generally avoided them or smiled quickly and looked away when I saw them because I didn't want to get into an awkward conversation where they would realise that I am really awkward or boring or not what they expected. I want to make new friends because I like the people who have made an effort to get to know me, however I avoided them again because I was afraid of getting rejected/leaving a bad impression and I questioned whether we would even make good friends before I even got to know them, also because they usually already had a lot of friends and why would they want to be friends with me. I'm able to make small talk, but feel like there is nothing to talk about with new people most of the time and if I do say whatever was on my mind (e.g. general topics) people say "that's random", look at me strangely or they don't even acknowledge it. I feel so awkward and lame when that happens. It makes me want to talk less or speak clearly in case people hear and think its lame. Then I question what I said and why I said it because I dont think I would say that with people I am comfortable with (its not offensive or anything). Is there a way to get rid of this feeling of insecurity, awkwardness, over-thinking, anxiety, loneliness? How can I actually talk to people without the conversation feeling boring to both of us or the other person getting bored and walking away? The feeling of awkwardness increases when I talk to someone new and our conversation is so static and toned down compared to how they talk with others. Also, if I do become friends with someone how do I let down my guard and just be myself? How do people become close friends? Thanks, sorry for rambling ps: i wasn't always like this haha

Guest2293 why am i a failure?
  • replies: 2

hi, i’m 16 years old and constantly feel like i am letting everyone down. i’m not fit, i don’t have a good stomach, i don’t fit in, i’m leaning towards the overweight side, i have a plate in my mouth for my jaw, i have a chin dimple (butt chin), when... View more

hi, i’m 16 years old and constantly feel like i am letting everyone down. i’m not fit, i don’t have a good stomach, i don’t fit in, i’m leaning towards the overweight side, i have a plate in my mouth for my jaw, i have a chin dimple (butt chin), when i smile my eyes disappear, i have ugly freckles and i’m not good at any sport (unlike my bother). i NEVER get noticed by guys at my school. only my sort of/not friends get noticed. boys always have crushes on them and always ask them out. not one single guy has had a crush on me or talked to me. i have never kissed a guy or ‘talked to one’. everytime i try interact with a guy i get igonred, left on read/opened (social media) or they talk to my friends so i care about my grades and currently have straight A’s (minus PE) and i feel like that makes me a nerd and just another reason for guys to not notice me. people always think i’m the teachers pet i walk around school self conscious every single day. i constantly am sucking in my stomach and i now have a divit if where i suck in and not it is just a habit and hurts quite a lot. i get pains in my stomach in stressful or unknown situations. i never have sleepovers with friend because one i don’t reallt get invited, i am always scared of doing new things, i stress over school a lot and we also have to wear a uniform and every few weeks is casual clothes and i guarantee i WILL have that day off. also my brother is really popular and he is 3 years older than me but is friends with all the popular people in my grade and was even close to dating a girl in my grade and my class. he always comments on why i don’t go to the gym, why i sit in my room all the time, why i care about school and he always calls me the f-word and ugly. at family dinners and christmas i am always the one being ignored while he and my other cousins are the stars and are perfect. one of my aunties always ignores me when i talk. i always see myself as a failure to them because i’m not sporty (my whole family based on sport) never get the attentions of guys and am not pretty, social, popular and skinny. i reallt just want to know why guys hate and avoid me, why my friends don’t like me and leave me out, why i’m scared of legit doing everything/anything, why i don’t get notice by guys, why my parents seem disappointed in me, why i can never do anything right and most of all why am i the biggest failure this planet has ever seen? thank you. sorry for spelling errors and for writing so much.

imissmacmiller Do we have a place here to talk music?
  • replies: 4

I'm new here so not exactly good with this, but I feel like it'd be great to have a small place to talk about music.

I'm new here so not exactly good with this, but I feel like it'd be great to have a small place to talk about music.

deLaurenzo Dealing with Chronic Illness
  • replies: 3

I have been sick for 6 months now and have had to move back home so my parents can take care of me. I've lost all my independence, I'm slowly losing friends and I'm losing the will to keep fighting my sickness. The doctors don't even know what's wron... View more

I have been sick for 6 months now and have had to move back home so my parents can take care of me. I've lost all my independence, I'm slowly losing friends and I'm losing the will to keep fighting my sickness. The doctors don't even know what's wrong with me still, which makes it all the more frustrating. No one understands what I'm going through, everyone has a friend of a friend that's gone through something similar which automatically makes them an expert on what I'm going through, but they don't really understand. I need to know how to get through this, how to keep fighting, all I want is to be my old self again and not be stuck bedridden watching everyone else live their lives and having the best time. How do people get through this! (Please I beg of you do not suggest reading a good book, writing a book, painting or finding a good Netflix series, that's all I've done the past three months and I'm going crazy haha)

kyara listening to music like lil peeps and suicide boys helps me?
  • replies: 4

I hear my friends talk to me about how listening to music like this makes them feel more depressed but it really helps me feel like I'm not the only one and helps me have a phat cry which is quite nice for me, am I the only one who thinks this??? any... View more

I hear my friends talk to me about how listening to music like this makes them feel more depressed but it really helps me feel like I'm not the only one and helps me have a phat cry which is quite nice for me, am I the only one who thinks this??? any music suggestions? like peep, bones, X, suicide boys, joji, lil bo weep ect?

Anabelle1370 I just don't feel good about myself anymore
  • replies: 4

I'm 16 years old and have gained 10kg since last year. I've looked it all up with my BMI; I'm 5'3 weighing at 127 pounds and I'm a healthy weight in that context. But, I still feel really ugly and fat. I'm a pretty small girl, but my stomach and thig... View more

I'm 16 years old and have gained 10kg since last year. I've looked it all up with my BMI; I'm 5'3 weighing at 127 pounds and I'm a healthy weight in that context. But, I still feel really ugly and fat. I'm a pretty small girl, but my stomach and thighs make me feel ginormous. Everyday I obsess over little things about my body and end up crying most nights because of how bad I feel. I pinch the rolls of fat on me and think about how unhealthy all this excess body weight is. I know everyone is gonna reply with ''it's natural'' and ''you're beautiful the way you are, there is no perfect body'' but I don't feel that way. I know there is no perfect body because everyone has their flaws, but I'm just so sick of mine. I go to the beach for sport every Friday with about 60 people from my school year, and going to the beach and seeing everyone who are flat stomached with their still rather large boobs and nice butts makes me feel so insecure. All my friends have perfectly toned stomachs and nice butts and boobs and I'm just there with my odd proportioned body. Everything about me seems so fat except for my boobs and butt and I have gotten heaps of cellulite over the year. My body is so pudgy at this point and it makes me so insecure. I don;t know what to do anymore. I want to start going to the gym and doing physical exercise and eating healthy but whenever I bring it up with my family they just shame me, saying I'm already skinny enough and should be putting on weight, which is not the case. I have so much excess fat it's not funny anymore. I know the women on social media portray perfect lives and bodies that aren't actually real so although it bothers me to a degree, I am also not too fussed on social media influencers. But when I see REAL PEOPLE from my local area and their perfect bodies, I feel bad. I don't want to be anorexic or anything, I'm not focused on being able to see my rib cage. I just want to feel good about myself again, like when I was younger. And I don't know how.