Mental not great kinda at breaking point

[Waterbotol]

I dont know where to start but like im kinda cooked?? Im 16M about to begin year 12 and literally a week ago lost two (lets say one is S (female) and the other is A (male) of my 3 (lets call the remaining one K) close friends. I lost S because im a bit of a dumb one, i like had a hugeee crush on her for the past 5 years 😬 and like its been a cycle of us getting close me confessing then her rejecting me and we distance and it restarts like this is already the 4th iteration of such an occurance. This time i was hoping to actually stop it by acknowledging that its probably not great for either of us for me to keep doing this and then keeping my distance from her (oh yeahh also i have very bad anxious attachment which i suspect came from 2023 when she lowk like lead me on for half a year then ghosted me for another half year but like we ignore that). I lost A because i found out what he has been doing. He has been going around and hitting on girls (borderline harrassment imo) and also he sent someone a suicide note in order to get her number???? I tried to like get him to understand that he shouldnt be doing these things but he kept deflecting and keeps saying hes being misunderstood and that hes not harrassing girls even when he sends them videos saying their hair looks really nice and when he gets left on seen he keeps going. I dont know, also sorry if this like rant thing is disorganised its 3 am ive been lying in bed with a sensation of my heart being twisted for the past 4 hours i dont know bruh. Anyways i should get back on track, so thats why i lost him. Why this is important though is that each of my close friends had a role within my life, like S would be who i talked with normally and A would be who i ranted with about my love life, but after both of them are gone i havent got any role fillers... tbh ive just been asking chatgpt for help and i dont think thats too good so thats why im here. This alone wouldnt be that bad thooo, its the fact that im worried about my physical health (my family has a history of like gout diabetes brain issues), my love life (its been pretty difficult getting over S while im anxiously attached and shes currently in a talking stage atm) and the fact that im starting year 12 (bio, chem, physics, methods ,english language and my parents wont pay for university if i get anything less than a 95 atar... oh yeah im also moving sometime near the middle of the year and im horribly lonely.

again im sorry for the disorganisation

[Picture]

Hi Waterbotol - sorry to hear what you are going through.
It might be worth talking to a school counsellor or kids helpline.

I just wanted to let you know that being 16 can be difficult with friends, relationships and school pressures but it can get better over time.

Some ideas are to try to remain connected with friends and family who are a positive influence (by arranging catch ups; texting etc); do exercise (can help mood) (eg running; weights; team sport) and plan your school work as best you can and get any school work help early. Make sure you also take some time to rest and relax.
After high school the world can open up significantly and you will meet a lot of new people through uni, tafe and/or work. You may end up forming significant relationships through these avenues.

I just wanted to say hang in there, it is a difficult time but it will likely get easier.

[Psychdiaries2]

Hi there,

Sorry to hear about the trouble you’ve experienced with your friendships. I am also going to recommend you speak to your coordinator and/or your school psychologist as it sounds as if  your friend A is harassing his peers. I can’t imagine how uncomfortable and difficult that must be for them, and it would be useful to bring it up to a trusted adult. 

Friendships in high school can be so complicated and it seems like both of these people are not genuine friends. Do you have any other possible friend groups to join (I know it sounds daunting) for year 12? I know schools usually run clubs like at lunch time so that could be a good way to socialise and have fun. If things don’t work out friendships-wise in year 12, my advice would be to just focus on schoolwork. Start studying early for all your SACS/exams, stay as organised as you can, make the most of it and try not to focus on the negatives. Trust me, you’ll meet a multitude of people at uni the following year and will definitely make friends later on down the line.

I hope you also rest and take some time for yourself to do the things you enjoy. Have you spoken to anyone in your family about this issue? I would suggest this also so you won’t have to carry the weight alone.

Take care ❤️