Hi,
I am writing to you in hopes to finally let my thoughts spill. I guess its not difficult to say that i have experienced some very bad things in life, but what is really difficult is talking about the things that made it so difficult. My friend suggested that i should talk to a councillor, but even after completing my Psychology degree, i am still not confident to finally say what i try to hide so much. I guess what i am about to say now is now even known by my friends, maybe by family. I am giving up in life.
I know how absurd that sounds. I am only 22. What could of actually happened to lead me to feeling such way. I guess the answer is not simple, and i am still trying to find it myself. Firstly i guess its the discomfort i felt at home, the never ending fights, and the never ending tears. At one point in time i even started to hate myself for being so weak. I thought by now i should be used to it. But i guess what doesn't kill doesn't always makes you stronger in the end. For me i have become even more sensitive. I am starting to see the cracks in my life, and i am trying to hid them for everyone, even myself. I guess the social media has become my weapon of dealing with it. However i feel, i am not actually fighting it but hiding from it.
Theres so much to talk about, yet so little i can actually can write. I could tell you about the abuse, the distrust, the emptiness, however i don't want to focus on the past but on the future. I am trying to create a better future, however i think i am lost at a place where even if i wanted to i wouldn't be able to move on. I know there is a better place, better state - I see it all around me. However i feel like i have lost the motivation do anything about it.
I just want to know what i can do. Please help!
Thanks for reading.
