Lost in thought

[EllsBells]

Hey guys, i am new to beyond blue. I have just recently been diagnosed with depression and anxiety although i had a case 2 years ago but wasn't very serious. Now i can barely touch my school work let alone complete it. I feel like my friends wouldnt even notice if i left completely. At netball i feel like a fly on the walll and again that if i left no one would notice. I am stressed even though i rarely do anything anymore. And my depression has taken a toll on my mum to. She is tired stressed and i hate seeing her this way. She feels hopeless because she doesnt know how to fix it for me. Nothing seems to be helping me. I rarely eat now but i have to go on a netball trip for a week with this team that i have no friends in and i am scared that i wont be able to handle it. I havent told anyone apart from mum and dad, my little brother and sister dont even know. I feel dis-included from my friends not only cause of my illness but also netball takes up alot of my time and weekends. I am not even close friends with my netball team and i spend more time with them than i do with my own friends. I came to beyond blue because mum is stressed and i dont want my friends to treat me any differently or try to fix my situation and i didnt know whoelse to talk to. I act fine in front of councillors and doctors because i know i am just over reacting but the thoughts just arent going away. I am fine for one minute and then BAM it suddenly comes back again. needing some advice on what to do.

[--Danny--]

Hi EllsBells,

First of all, welcome to beyond blue! It's good to have u onboard!! It sounds like your sufferering from anxiety...I find it difficult aswell dealing with crowds, groups of people...heaps of people on beyond blue get these feelings..it sounds like u are living a healthy lifestyle, playing netball is fantastic news! Keep up the sport, it's really good for you :). Have u thought about some counselling? Or maybe tell your doctor how u are feeling...this netball trip might be good...u may find someone u connect with? Keep positive mate, there's plenty of people here who are willing to support u!

Positivity rules the world,

Danny

[Struggler]

Hi EllsBells

Welcome to Beyond Blue and sharing your feeling with us.  I hope you will find this place beneficial and stay for a while.

First of all you are very lucky to have supportive parents.  Many people here don't even talk to their folks.  You said you act when you are with doctor and counsellor.  That worries me.  It tells me you are not getting he treatment to get well if you have to act.  I don't know how long you have been with your treating team.  Sometimes we have to change service providers and get second opinion.

As to your netball team.  My idea of playing sport is to gain enjoyment, get fit and feeling of belonging.  You don't seem to benefit from any of them.  Instead you feel ignored, invisible, empty and the netball team is a burden.  When we have depression, we must rid our lives of toxic people and environment.  I am not saying the netball team is toxic but you don't get support from them. 

Support is what we need when are not well.  Your parents support and care about you.  Your friends are relatively close to you, compare with the netball team especially.  May I suggest you give the netball team a rest and enjoy the support you are blessed with?  You can always get back to sport when you are well again.  

Hope this gets you thinking about your situation.  Looking forward to your next post and take care.

Struggler