Lonely & stressed

[Tassiegirl]

I've started a month ago college and I have never experienced this feeling in my life. I don't know what to do or say. As Ive never had depression or anxiety I cant say whether I have it or not. Ive lost alot of wieght because I dont eat. Ever since Ive started college I feel so alone. I have no friends and no one talks to me or acknowledges me. My friends from high school only message me with their problems. Other then that they don't speak to me and they send me pictures when they are all together because I was obviously not invited. My counsellor which the school is making me see because I'm always crying told me to do something for myself. SO I did invite a old friend over but I cant enjoy myself. I didn't enjoy having her around and I feel mean for feeling like that. I live with my dad and my younger brother who Ive cared for since I was 11 when my nan died. My dad works everyday so I don't see him a lot. My home life is very lonely so I just sit in my room do homework. I only see my mum every second weekend which makes it harder on my school work as if I leave something at my dads im screwed. She keeps putting pressure on me to move to her house. I cant decide and i feel torn. My feelings never used to be that bad but as I never spoke to anyone about them they've been getting worse. I cry over the littlest thing and most of they time I cry for no reason. Im lonely but I don't even enjoy being around people anymore. No one understands that I hate my life. I want to drop out of college. I cant handle it anymore. I don't want to be around people. They only people that care about me are my mum and dad but then they only noticed something was wrong when the counsellor called them to pick me up from school. A lot of the things I feel I feel are stupid to everyone else. I actually feel like everything ive just wrote is stupid. I just feel worthless and sad everyday. Ive had no day when Im happy. Everyday I run on nothing because I don't eat and I cant sleep. I'm either staying up doing work or I just cant do it. Im just over everything

[PeeBee_Jay]

Hey Tassiegirl,

let me start off with telling you that you are not stupid, what you think what you feel is not stupid, and what you have written here is not stupid. All of this, of all you, matters!!

Now, it seems you've got a lot of things worrying you. When you have numerous worries at the same time weighing you down it can seem impossible to pull yourself back up. So the first thing I propose is compile a list of your problems and instead of looking at the overall picture consider them one by one. It's so much more difficult trying to fix a bunch of problems than just one at a time. Consider the problems that you can alter to better help your other problems. For example maybe you might want to spend more time with your family or pursue some personal interests or hobbies. So maybe you might want to consider taking college part time or simply deferring for a year or two to focus on this. Education can come later happiness cannot!! Just have a think about this list and what you want to achieve by crossing these problems off it. Then whether singularly or together sit down with your parents and explain to them this list. Explain to them how these things are affecting you and then work with them to identify ways of changing your lifestyle and your family's lifestyle to help you overcome these problems. I know it's hard to talk to your parents but it's so much better having a two or three person team than just one. And so with the aid of your parents you'll hopefully be able to start crossing off some of these problems on your list and someday just throw the whole thing in the bin. And of course there is always the choice of seeking professional help.

But I hope this helps. Take one step at a time, you'll get there!!

[geoff]

dear Tassiegirl, I'm so sorry that about how you are feeling, it's never pleasant when depression hits us, maybe for a reason or maybe it's not, but at the moment for you there are several reasons to cause it, and there would be other reasons which would also participate which you may not realise or even know of.

All those 'friends' that contact you when they need to talk when something is wrong with themselves are not 'friends' but only acquaintances and are only upsetting you more when they want to talk you about themselves, and even as though you believe that you should help them, it is only drawing you down into the black hole further, so you have to ignore their texts, because what sort of help have they given you, none at all.

I would defer your college studies, because at the moment you are wasting your time, and rather than fail, it would be better to take the time off.

With your mum if she is not working then it would be good idea to move into her place, where she can support you and seek professional help which you so need.

If you have done the cooking for your dad and your brother that's OK because so many people who work do their own cooking and he will get used to doing it.

What would be ideal to do is go and see your doctor who can organise 10 free visits to see a psychologist, plus they may want to put you on some medication.

Hope that you can get back to us. Geoff. x