Young people

I'm being ignored because of my depression?

replies: 3

I'm in year 12 at school and my teachers are trying to make it an easy year for me because I'm struggling. Two of my friends have been outrightly ignoring me in English and Religion because I have been getting 'special privileges'. They suggest I dro... View more

I'm in year 12 at school and my teachers are trying to make it an easy year for me because I'm struggling. Two of my friends have been outrightly ignoring me in English and Religion because I have been getting 'special privileges'. They suggest I drop out of school and go to TAFE instead, but I want to finish year 12 before I try TAFE. Being ignored by them is only worsening my depression, but I don't want to tell them that because they'll only say that I'm saying it to make them feel bad or because I'm too soft or something like that. I've been friends with them for years, I don't know why they're treating me like this now. I want to keep up our friendship, but in English and Religion at school they've been horrible to me. What do I do? They're making me want to skip English and Religion.

Catharsis

replies: 1

Hi I guess I'll get straight to it. I'm a 20 y/o male and I think I could do with some help. When I was younger I lived with my mother and my two sisters. My mother has a lot of issues in her past that still plague her to this day. She never really h... View more

Hi I guess I'll get straight to it. I'm a 20 y/o male and I think I could do with some help. When I was younger I lived with my mother and my two sisters. My mother has a lot of issues in her past that still plague her to this day. She never really had a good relationship with her family as far as I can tell and decided to move us across the country and change our family name so that we could not be found. We moved around a lot; always a new school, a new house. When I was 8 we moved states again. When I fourteen I started to feel very rotten. I started staying home some days and not handing in work at school. My sisters and I would ask my mum questions about our fathers and our family and it would always end up messy. When I was 15 I left home to live with my sister oldest sister who had left home the year earlier at 18. She had finished year 12 and started working and I was still in high school. Each month that went by this rotten feeling intensified and each month I found myself attending school less and less and submitting work less and less. High school had finished and I had just scraped by. When I was in college this pattern repeated itself, gradually intensifying. I would only attend two or three, sometimes one day a week. The days I didn't go I would sleep until 5:pm and stay up until 5:am. Then I would only attend music class. Obviously this lead to failing college. After college I moved in with a friend who went to university and I started a TAFE course so that I could get a better job. Self destructive pattern: rinse and repeat. When I was 18 I found out my father had passed. I felt rotten to the core. My girlfriend left me and I stopped talking to most of my friends, the ones that I did talk to I was convinced that they thought I was a joke. I formed a drug dependency and went to the doctor looking for help. I was going to see the head headshrinker but I didn't have the money and so I left with the GP telling me I looked like a healthy young man (even though I told him about the drugs) and a prescription for some mild anti-depressants. I took them for a couple of months but didn't feel any better for it and didn't feel any worse for it when I stopped. A couple of months later I moved states again with a mate and started studying. I study online and am inside most of the day but recently I have started falling back into old habits. Sorry for the essay, just thought context might be handy. I would just like to feel better. Thanks

Am I just being dramatic?

replies: 3

I don't know how to clearly write this, in fact it took a while to work up the courage to even make an account. I guess I just want to finally know whether I do have social anxiety, or am I just blowing things out of proportion and should just shut u... View more

I don't know how to clearly write this, in fact it took a while to work up the courage to even make an account. I guess I just want to finally know whether I do have social anxiety, or am I just blowing things out of proportion and should just shut up and get over it? I dread phone calls, especially customer service. I will sit there thinking about what I'm going to say for the longest time before working up the courage to make the call. Sometimes I'll write down what I want to say. During said phone call I'll be sweating, heart thumping loudly, and my voice gets all strange and croaky. Whenever I'm alone and out in public I think everybody is looking at me. If a stranger on the street speaks to me I'll sometimes freeze up or stutter and start sweating. Then after they leave I'll start rewinding the encounter and wondering if I said or did anything stupid like god, they think I'm a weirdo. It could just be a "Hello, nice weather today!" and I'd still stress over it. Negative social experiences and rejection have made things a lot worse these past few years. The only two times I managed to land a job interview I was rejected, and one of the jobs I really badly wanted. Since then I have never tried to apply for part-time work because I just don't want to experience that feeling of rejection ever again. Socialising is basically me thinking I've said something stupid every second line. Then walking away believing they don't like me. Eye contact is hard for me but I try my best because I know it's rude and distant not to, but I find that when I'm with a friend and talking to someone new, the said person always gives eye contact to my friend and never to me. So then I start feeling inferior and stop talking, then I go home and feeling like I'm boring and unwanted. This has happened so many times I've simply stopped trying to make new friends already. It gets tiring. I can't talk to authority without making a fool out of myself. I constantly think they're judging me for being an idiot, especially teachers. These past few years in university I have felt the worst. I can't find the courage to seek counseling or talk to a GP or anything, just this forum. And there's no way I'm telling my family or friends. I just don't know what to do anymore, I'm sorry for letting out all my thoughts. My case is obviously nowhere near as serious as the ones in this forum, I don't get panic attacks or vomit or anything. I probably don't even have an anxiety problem sorry.

I feel like disappearing

replies: 3

So for the last few weeks I've been having depressive thoughts which for the first time have been leading towards suicidal...Every time I think about it I have a panic attack and struggle to breath.I don't know what to talk about to people, what to t... View more

So for the last few weeks I've been having depressive thoughts which for the first time have been leading towards suicidal...Every time I think about it I have a panic attack and struggle to breath.I don't know what to talk about to people, what to tell them when they tell me I can talk to them.Its all just kind of a blur, I feel like there's no reason to be going through all of this, and then I feel worse when I think of others that have it much worse than me and feel even worse.I feel like everyone preaches to me that it will get better but it hasnt and I can't see it happenning.I just feel like going out and blowing my money, disappearing and just giving up.beyondblue's clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636.

My Parents - Please Help!

replies: 2

Okay, so I just need some help or some reassurance that it's not what I think. I think my parents hate me, on some level. They are always unsupportive and make me feel horrible about myself. What happened about an hour ago is a good example. My dad c... View more

Okay, so I just need some help or some reassurance that it's not what I think. I think my parents hate me, on some level. They are always unsupportive and make me feel horrible about myself. What happened about an hour ago is a good example. My dad came into my room asking about my science test and if I got an A. I told him it wouldn't be marked for another week, and I said it normally. He paused, as if he was thinking, then suddenly started yelling at me saying he was asking a perfectly nice question and I didn't need to give him so much attitude and slammed my door. I couldn't help but keep crying. Later he came in and gave me such a cold look and told me that there was left over curry for me and my sister to eat for dinner. Only when I went to go eat my sister had already eaten her half. She said that was about half an hour before. My dad only just told me so I ate cold curry in case warming it up made him yell at me again. It was horrible. I hate going home after school. I hate being sick, too. My mum is always the one that's home during the day so has to pick me up if I get sick at school. Last time I was sick at school I was throwing up in the school bathroom and nearly collapsed but I tried not to go to the office because I was scared to go home. My mum always seems to be so angry with me for being sick. She yells at me and treats me like I am lying even when it's obvious I'm not. Being at home always leads to me crying. There are days when things are okay but something will happen and it has to be my fault. I was seem to ruin everything. Am I crazy or do my parents not like me? Please help.

Problem cause by feeling too great

replies: 1

Does anyone else have problems when they are on a manic high? I don't feel depressed or anything like that. I'm just unsure what I'll end up doing when I'm on a high. I got into very serious trouble in a manic high a couple of years ago. I decided to... View more

Does anyone else have problems when they are on a manic high? I don't feel depressed or anything like that. I'm just unsure what I'll end up doing when I'm on a high. I got into very serious trouble in a manic high a couple of years ago. I decided to start a police chase which resulted in me crashing and being arrested.

New and confused

replies: 6

Hi,I’m new to this community and I’ve never reached out like this before. But I’ve reached a point where just need to talk to someone and I don’t quite know how to or want to reach out to my family and friends. I have no idea if I have depression or ... View more

Hi,I’m new to this community and I’ve never reached out like this before. But I’ve reached a point where just need to talk to someone and I don’t quite know how to or want to reach out to my family and friends. I have no idea if I have depression or anything similar but I go through stages where I get down, I’m tired and everything just feels so overwhelming.My normal personality is quite energetic, happy and carefree, and most of the time I feel like this which makes me think that when I get down that I’m just being dramatic. I’ve had an on and off history of self-harm through my teenage years (I’m 20 now) which still persists occasionally today. When I’m freaking out and can’t get away from despair I find it helps me deal and calm down. I’ve always managed to pass off the few marks and injuries friends and family have seen and I’ve never confided in anyone about it. I guess I’ve always felt that it’s not a big deal to make a fuss over and eventually it'll just stop.I think what I’m most confused about is that the majority of the time I feel fine, I feel normal, which makes me think that I don’t have a problem. But then there’s times like today. I’ve been feeling off for a few days now and today was just a bad day. I struggled getting out of bed this morning, I burst into tears over a tiny comment my mother made, I was tired all day and even with a friend at my house I wanted to curl up in bed. And now I’m just struggling. I'm feeling so trapped and overwhelmed. It's like I'm drowning in negative emotions. I just don’t want to deal with anything in my life right now.I wanted to see if anyone has had any similar experiences or anything helpful they can offer because I’ve reached a point where I’m just so tired of not talking about this and pretending like this is normal and I have no idea what to do.beyondblue's clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636.

Stuck and need help

replies: 2

So I don't really know how to get myself out of this 'dark black hole' so to speak. I have no motivation to do anything, I don't want to leave the house, I don't want to talk to any of my friends or family. I feel constantly sad, anxious and especial... View more

So I don't really know how to get myself out of this 'dark black hole' so to speak. I have no motivation to do anything, I don't want to leave the house, I don't want to talk to any of my friends or family. I feel constantly sad, anxious and especially angry but I'm not sure why? And that makes me even more upset. I just feel so frustrated and upset with everything and everyone. I am always there to listen to my friends when they are sad, but it seems whenever I need someone to talk to, they are no where to be seen, they won't answer my calls or messages or they just turn the conversation back onto themselves and I end up consoling them, once again. I guess I just feel so alone and stuck.

Fate worries/hangovers

replies: 2

I just recently completed the HSC, and found it extremely stressful. Now it's over, and the pressure is gone. But now i worry about death. Before the exams drinking would be a rare reprieve from the stresses of school life. I only drink in social sit... View more

I just recently completed the HSC, and found it extremely stressful. Now it's over, and the pressure is gone. But now i worry about death. Before the exams drinking would be a rare reprieve from the stresses of school life. I only drink in social situations, and i wouldn't even get a hangover. But two weeks ago, after drinking 2 nights in a row, i suffered a week of paralysing anxiety, over the concept of death. I fear it because it's impossible to know if my mind will be destroyed when i die. Sometimes i could wrestle my mind away from focusing on it, but the anxiety itself didn't dissipate. The focus might shift to social judgement very occasionally. I had at least one major panic attack every day, bad enough to leave me weeping. It went away eventually, and life became enjoyable again, but the focus still lingered in my mind (as it has for the last four years) Now, two weeks later, i made the same fallacy of 2 nights of consecutive drinking with the very same friends, and the anxiety is back with a vengeance. I may be going through the same thing once again. What's happening to me? Is it the multiple days of drinking? Is leftover HSC stress causing this? Or will i never be able to enjoy a night out with friends without being mentally damaged for a week? And every time i try and take my focus off of my fate, my brain says that this is a problem that cannot be ignored. The laws of physics dictate that i have to go through this some day, and i don't know in my heart whether my mind will go to some Heaven or be snuffed out completely. I fear that day so much. And my brain doesn't understand that this isn't ok. But is it understandable?

I want rid of the stigma!

replies: 1

Hi all, I'm new to beyond blue on these online forums however have regularly checked into the website over the years for information. I've wanted to share my story for a while as I feel it's important to get more awareness out there so that younger p... View more

Hi all, I'm new to beyond blue on these online forums however have regularly checked into the website over the years for information. I've wanted to share my story for a while as I feel it's important to get more awareness out there so that younger people can become more confident in speaking out about their issue or will have the courage to seek for help/advice. So here goes... At the age of 15 (year 11 high school) I struggled to find myself in terms of fitting in as a highschooler, socialising and meeting boys but also have to deal with being a type 1 diabetic on a insulin pump where jokes were common about my 'tamagotchi device'. My self esteem was low, I was overweight and was ridiculed for my (what I now consider to be beautiful) strawberry blonde "ginger" hair. In march of my year 11 studies my mum thankfully took me to the doctor as she noticed the changes in me where I was diagnosed with severe depression but by this point it was too late.. I had lost my 'friends' to being what they described as being 'too unhappy' and was in the firing line of all the nasty rumours regarding being depressed, having medication and trying to cope still with school. I spent two weeks sometimes not being able to sleep due to medication side effects, mixed with the wrong crowd and was avoided by all because they viewed my illness as contagious. Some how in amongst all this I managed to connect and enter a relationship with a boy who has now become my partner for last 5 years and has help me through my battle. After high school I came off the medication but unfortunately every year I seemed to suffer a down period, still didn't have many friends and as you can imagine found it hard to make friends because of trust issues.. how did I know if they would do the same thing? Come my second year of uni the stress of my studies and expectations as a scholarship student for nursing became too much and I sunk down again. I spent my days in bed, unable to wake up let alone eat or shower or keep on top of my uni work. I used my little energy to hide from my loved ones what was going on and cried none stop for hours. I've always feared the ridicule from the previous time. Thankfully my partner and mum helped me through.. taking me again to the doctor and using similar techniques such as exercise, meditation and yoga to help me back on track. I'm now in my final year of nursing and am thankful for my support & my studies never suffered and still have accomplished what I wanted.

Pinned discussions

New to this Forum? Please read this first!

replies: 0

All discussions

I'm being ignored because of my depression?

replies: 3

Catharsis

replies: 1

Am I just being dramatic?

replies: 3

I feel like disappearing

replies: 3

My Parents - Please Help!

replies: 2

Problem cause by feeling too great

replies: 1

New and confused

replies: 6

Stuck and need help

replies: 2

Fate worries/hangovers

replies: 2

I want rid of the stigma!

replies: 1

Young people

New to this Forum? Please read this first! replies: 0

I'm being ignored because of my depression? replies: 3

Catharsis replies: 1

Am I just being dramatic? replies: 3

I feel like disappearing replies: 3

My Parents - Please Help! replies: 2

Problem cause by feeling too great replies: 1

New and confused replies: 6

Stuck and need help replies: 2

Fate worries/hangovers replies: 2

I want rid of the stigma! replies: 1

New to this Forum? Please read this first!

replies: 0

I'm being ignored because of my depression?

replies: 3

Catharsis

replies: 1

Am I just being dramatic?

replies: 3

I feel like disappearing

replies: 3

My Parents - Please Help!

replies: 2

Problem cause by feeling too great

replies: 1

New and confused

replies: 6

Stuck and need help

replies: 2

Fate worries/hangovers

replies: 2

I want rid of the stigma!

replies: 1