identity crisis

[wonderland_j74]

So I have posted here before in 2014, when I was struggling with the transition from moving out of home to living in a hostel I am now renting a house near my partner. Ive been settled here for about nine months. I just started doing a tafe course I'm really enjoying and things felt like they were coming together more. I have now fallen out of love with my partner, he is my security net,he actually helps me with food in the house,bus money for tafe and he's one of the main reasons I moved to this particular suburb. I feel like I can't let him go because I'm terrified of looking after myself and being alone, I've been extremely self destructive lately and I have been feeling numb and I can't sleep, I keep lashing out at him when I'm out of it. I just feel like I can't handle my emotions or the situation at all and there's a constant pit of doom in my stomach. I've never been without a partner before and I'm terrified.

[white knight]

Hi Wonderland, welcome again,

Your post hasnt had a response likely because your post is a difficult one to answer.

It seem to me you have an extreme form of insecurity.

I suggest you talk to your GP about this and seek the appropriate therapy.

Good luck.

Tony   WK

[geoff]

dear Wonderland, can I ask you a couple of questions, and only answer if you want to, are there other people who share the rent with you for the house, and I presume that you are getting a centrelink payment and if so have you claimed any rent assistance which you are entitled to, so that this will help to pay for food etc.

There would be a campus counsellor who maybe able to help you with getting help and advice of how to overcome your loss.

It's never a pleasant feeling being left by yourself, so this must be a shock for you, and now a personal question and again only answer if you want to, was it you who decided to end the relationship or was it mutual.

Hope that you can get back to us. Geoff. x

[wonderland_j74]

No I live my by myself so i pay my own rent and bills. Sometimesi get help from my family. And yes I get a Centerlink payment. 

[AndrewP]

Hi Wonderland,

Can I ask, and of course feel free not to answer, what is it that terrifies you about being alone and looking after yourself? Answering honestly will bring about the most change for you.

How does being self-destructive work for you? On some level even as illogical as it may sound, being self-destructive works for you, there is a little pay-off somewhere in there. Recognising and acknowledging this will also help bring change to your life.

If you have any questions then please don't hesitate to ask me.