Life has been a mess & it doesn't seem to be getting any better.

[Jireh]

I study at university & everything was fine until this year. Things just started going downhill & I do have those moments where life couldn't be better but lately that hasn't been the case. I had to drop my study load to part-time for my course which was beneficial for my tertiary education but that meant I could no longer receive financial support. This prompted me to get a job as I have to support myself. I have been working at this new job for about 2 weeks but I'm finding that it's all too much. The management is terrible, communication within the company is atrocious and as a newbie to the company I feel as though they are expecting too much of me. I'm always being asked to take up extra shifts during the week & asked to stay back a couple more hours than I have been rostered on for. Due to always being needed at work I don't have enough time to myself for leisurely/social activities, family time & study. After long days at work I'm physically, mentally & emotionally drained. I can't help around the house like I know I should be & this makes me feel more useless & more like a waste of space. I'm easily irritable and more often than not, rude to the people that mean the most to me even though I don't mean it. Life feels like its at a standstill & that it has no direction or purpose. I'm suffering in silence but I don't want to anymore.

[BballJ]

Hi Jireh,

Firstly, welcome to the forums. Well done for reaching out for some support, it is often the hardest step to talk in realising something is not right so reaching is out a great, so please be proud of that.

You seem very smart and are doing the right things and trying to balance everything which sometimes isn't always possible. This new job seems to be causing you the most stress, is there a possibility to look for a new job as I am assuming it is part time and if it is interfering with personal and school time it may just not suit your lifestyle. I also know it is hard to get a job too so understand if you have to stay. My next thought would be to speak to a manager about your hours and advise of your study requirements, is that a possibility?

Another suggestion I have is maybe speaking to your local GP about all of this and possibly speaking to a psychologist about how you are feeling just to try and put it all in perspective for you.

My best for you,

Jay

[blueskye]

Hi Jireh,

I'm an University student too and I can totally relate that life can get hectic for us! Studying part-time and working is a very common University student combo! Don't feel alienated because of this! Many of my friends are doing this and I'm thinking of studying part-time next semester as well!

Have you considered applying for other jobs? As you already have some work experience, you can utilise it for another job. In the past, I was stuck working in one my hospitality jobs and I really didn't like it either. I was there was 1.5 years and I regret not quitting sooner! I applied for other places and they took me in! I'm much more happier in the work places I'm currently at. If you don't like your current job, you don't have to stick with it. You're in charge of where you want to work. Apply in other places! Look through job search engines like seek.com! Your mental health is more important than your current job!

In the meantime, definitely speak to management regarding this, as Jay suggested.

Look after yourself, buddy 🙂 You got this!

[chinchilla]

Hi Jireh!

Thanks for reaching out to us, we wouldn't be able to sleep knowing that you're dealing with this all on your own!

Uni is a tough time, its a pressure test. It's not about what you learn, its about destroying your ego and making you do things when you don't want to. Sometimes it can be really rough, but its not your life, its just one part of it, and life doesn't end if Uni does.

From the sounds of it, it looks like you dropped a subject to have more time to spend on the others, but now that you've picked up a job that requires so much of your time, and it also doesn't sound like its a healthy environment for you to grow in, it may be an option for you to just pick up that course again and try knuckling down. That way you'll save time finishing your degree and you'll get paid to study.

Please remember that you don't have to go through Uni alone, find some smart kids and become good friends with them, you guys may be able to help each other out and have fun in the process!

In closing Jireh, things can get tough sometimes, but thats what gives them value.You've already gotten yourself this far so I know you're strong enough to finish the rest of the journey!

[BballJ]

Hi Rizz23,

Thank you for reaching out, it is so important that you have reached out for support, you situation seems tough but reaching out for help here is so important.

Can I please encourage you to start your own thread that way we can speak to you in that. Your thread has concerned me because the fact you have googled how to suicide.

You deserve all the help in the world, I understand your situation is tough but please keep talking to us.

Please also know if you feel these thoughts again, you can call the Beyond Blue helpline on 1300 22 4636 24/7 to discuss these feelings, please do not do it alone.

My best for you,

Jay