I’m surrounded by people but I feel so alone

[Shay9]

Hi

I am always surrounded by people. I have a big group of ‘friends’ at school. I work almost everyday in a busy place after school and I have two sisters. But I don’t feel like there’s anyone I can talk to openly. I sit with the same people every day in class and at lunch but I don’t feel like I can call any of them a best friend. Everyone seems to have someone who there closer to than me. I don’t get invited out to do things even when every other person in our group is unless I organise it myself. I’m not very close with either of my sisters or my parents. I feel like when I finish school I’m going to have no one left in my life. Not only that but everyone seems to have their whole future planned while I’ve got no clue what I’m going to do once I finish school.

What am I doing wrong?

I know that there are people people who are going through a lot worse than what I am but I just feel so lost.

[geoff]

hello Shay, it must feel pretty lonely for you and I'm sorry for you, however I'd like to know a bit more about why you aren't close with your parents and sister, that's only if you feel comfortable.
Planning your future will often change every year or even every few months, no one really knows because they don't know how well they score in the exams, I wanted to do architecture but my results were nowhere what was needed, I think you need about 95%, but I was nowhere near it, so then what was it going to do, well as time goes by and the opportunities that come along you decide.
Just remember that when you finish school most friends seem to go their own way, but always say 'we must catch up', but it rarely happens.
Friends become distant, so you make new friends along the way, and can I ask what year you are in. Geoff.

[jc2000]

Hi Shay9,

I was actually in your position at the start of this year, I'm in year 12, and part of a large group of friends (there's about 15 of us) and i had people to sit next to in every class and all of that. but i also felt disconnected from all of them from an inability to go and see them often and from not being in the same classes as them (my friends are all science nerds and I'm more in the arts and social sciences). I used to be the one constantly organising things for us to do, maybe because i was bored or maybe because i knew i wouldn't get invited out if i didnt plan it myself.

I remember sitting there at lunch with all of them and seeing them each talking to their closest friend and me feeling alone. I was fortunate enough to rekindle a good friendship of mine from when i was in year 5 and that's helped a lot, but i know next year we are all going to drift apart and go our separate ways for universities because of everyones varied interests and different universities. and i'll admit; i'm terrified because i've never been good at making friends, and i'm sensing you feel similarly. I'm going to tell you what i'm going to tell myself which is just to put yourself out there, you need to just go out and introduce yourself to people, go to social event put on by the uni, meet new people. of course some of them may be duds and you will not be suited to each other, but still try.

all of my friends have a plan for what they want to do next year, but i still have nothing. so please don't feel like your the only one, there are so many people in the same boat.

I hope to hear from you soon,

Julia

[LuLu_]

I feel the same. Loneliness seems to follow me. I sit down with my family and I just want to be somewhere else. I go to school and I just wish I could be at home or with my horse. The worst thing is sometimes being with people can be more lonely then actually being alone. Its tough.

You aren't doing anything wrong. I feel the same way,, that I will lose all my friends next year. There is a small part that doesn't care. That small part makes me not enjoyable to be around. I just get into a slump of not caring. But a big part does care. Perhaps I care so much my brain tells me not to care so I don't feel pain and get hurt.

I hope you feel slightly better soon. Do not worry about not knowing what to do with your future. Most people change multiple times before they find the right path.