Anxiety and feeling sad

[Tegan1]

Hey guys, this is my first post. I’m 14 years old.

i just came back from school today and the whole day I was feeling sad and down, I am undiagnosed but i know I have anxiety and small signs of depression. My friend said she didn’t want to be friends anymore today and I had no one else. But my old school friends hung out with me and made me feel wanted.

I have anxiety that stops me from talking to people and doing activities at school. But I deal.

My my parents are divorced, my dads poor and lives in a 2 roomed garage trying to supply for my sister and I. He is like my best friend, but gets angry at me all the time, he smokes and isn’t healthy with food. On my mums side there is my stepdad and mum. They are so mean to me and always put me down. They are rich though and are super healthy. They are really strict and have so many rules and get angry when I do the smallest things. I cry all the time. But I try to help myself by doing sports and listening to music. Watching cartoons also keeps me in that childhood mood and it make sure me happy.

i hope I can help some people if you have any relatable issues or questions xx

[Cerise547]

Hey Tegan! I'm 13 years old, and I also have anxiety, as well as OCD. I am also undiagnosed, but I know from the symptoms that I've come across that I have them.

My parents are separated, and I live with my lovely mum and brother. My dad doesn't seem to care about me, as he doesn't support us or seem to want to talk to me. I recently saw him for the first time in a couple of years, and that was really really scary. He has a girlfriend who he lives with, and he seems to care a whole lot more about her than he does about me.

I really hope that we can talk and support each other in the future 🙂

I hope that you feel welcome on here, and it is lovely to meet you.

-Cerise547

[white knight]

Hi Tegan, welcome

You are very insightful. Well done.

Diagnosis is crutial. Its like having a vibration in a car. You adjust the exhaust, balance the wheels, renew the engine mounts. Then in desperation you take the car to a mechanic and he finds an electrical fault. All that time and money for incorrect work.

Same with mental illness. You might "think" you have depression but there are other sorts of depression that can make us emotional like dysthymia and melancholy depression.

I assume you spent time with your mother and step dad. If you feel uncomfortable in their company ask if you can reduce it. You are entering an intense time in your schooling and need to focus on that. Alternatively when you vist lay low and catch up on serious study meaning less time "in their face", so to have less contact. But remember "richness" is often an illusion and is not relevant. Love is relevant.

Your dads anger is from frustration presumably from trying to raise a teenager. Be patient with him, do your work around the home before pleasure. Family intolerance is actually normal.

Tony WK

[jc2000]

Hi Tegan1,

My name is Julia, I'm 17 and I have depression and anxiety. I was actually around your age when i first noticed signs of it, but told myself i was fine, and that it wasn't anything to worry about and I went undiagnosed for 3 years. I can see the difficult situation that you are in, what with your parents being the way that they are, but i really do recommend you go and get diagnosed and get help. It's really important that you try and get your mental health sorted, and take care of yourself before you get into your senior years in school. I say this from experience; hiding undiagnosed mental illness does not help you in school. I don't know what it's like to have divorced parents, i will admit, but my parents may as well be divorced. My mum sounds a little like both of your parents combined, she can be very rude, insensitive, gets angry very easily, but my dad is a complete teddy bear.

It's good that you've got some of your old friends to support you, make sure you keep them close. and the way that you've described your the way you try to deal with everything sounds exactly like me when I was 14, I thought that was kind of interesting.

Maybe you could try talking to your dad or a school councillor? when I came forward about my issues about a month and a half ago, i went to my school councillor because i was afraid to talk to my parents and my family, people often underestimate the abilities of a school councillor. My councillor helped take me to my GP and helped to organise for me to go see a psychologist, and it helps.

If you have any questions or need any advice; I'm here and I hope to hear from you soon,

Julia

[EdenF]

Hi Tegan,

I want you to know that it's not your fault. Us adults are horrible communicators sometimes and we also dont know what we want most of the time.

As for your dad, if he is working and struggling with money he will probably be beating himself up that he cant support you and your sister as much as he would like. He is not angry at you, he is just tired or exhausted. Maybe he needs a hand cleaning or cooking food. Just a little support from family can go a long way. Tell him you appreciate everything he does. He may be smoking because he is stressed and eating unhealthy because he doesn't feel like cooking. But if you can offer to help, he might be up for that idea.

As for your mum, she has her new life with her new partner. Unfortunately for you, you remind her of her past relationship with your father. the same goes for your step dad. They want their relationship to blossom but they may feel held back by taking care of you.

This is pure speculation.

Remember, this is not your fault. It is theirs. You are probably an amazing person who is having to take up the slack of your parents being at war with each other. To get your needs met you will have to comply with theirs. It's an unfortunate situation for a young person but you need to be the adult here. If you can read into the situation that both of your parents are going through and see where you can help out or ask even, maybe they can get their needs met and so can you.

I am a dad myself, hope i can help.