Lapses...every now and then...advice?

[Muddlee]

Hi guys,

It's been a while since my last post (which ironically was about setback) but here we are again venting my last lapse. So its been I think 3-4 months since I had a memorable setback (nearly ruined my GF's anniversary with a panic attack). Since then things have actually been great. Survived my end of year exams at University, went through the festive season with somewhat ease and January has truly been the best month for me. I can really see and FEEL (if that makes sense) myself gradually getting stronger, relaxing a lot more and handling stressful situations better. But this week hasn't been the best...It started a week ago with a few new intrusive thoughts and worries dwindling around (one of them involving a sensitive conversation I had with a friend about 2 YEARS ago) and then some more worry and then some more worry (same old same old). Today was a bit tougher than others as I had work and struggled a bit, but I go through it (phew!). But what's bothering me most is that I'm going to see some friends tomorrow night and have my GF's birthday on the Sunday and am totally packing it about being confident, relaxed and having a good time. I know that these lapses are not only normal but important for recovery (especially if I face and manage them) but I just hate having to ruin a good couple of days/weeks with these up and down moods. Just reaching out for some advice or past experiences on how to manage setbacks/lapses and cope with them during stressful times so I can maybe finish of this grey week with a silver lining.

Kindest of regards,

Muddllleee

[white knight]

Hi muddlee,

Firstly I'd like to mention just a possibility.

I used to look upon every event as stressful. Then one day l was about to pick up my new car.I mentioned to a friend that l had anxiety about it. He said "the problem you have is you cant differentiate between anxiety and excitement".

Just be aware of the fine line between them imo.

Medication. Thats why we take it, to avoid these relapses. You might feel you dont need it but?. Relaxation classes?. For our mind to reset it neefs help. Once these events are past there will be other events that are likely going to make you anxious.

Work closely with your GP about this. Its worth the inconvenience.

Tony WK

[geoff]

hello Muddle, Tony has raised an interesting point 'can't differentiate between anxiety and excitement' which is a very good description of your current situation, because excitement can lead to you worrying that everything will go as planned, and there won't be any problems, but with this worry then brings in other intrusive thoughts which may or may not have any bearing on what's about to happen.
Once you start to self doubt your abilities then that's when the problems begin, so they mount up, one on top of the other until eventually you start to believe them, which will make you fall.
You can never predict what may happen all you want is to wish your g/friend a Happy Birthday, but you have to remember that if something does go wrong, there is always another option to overcome the problem, so this needs someone who can deal with situations like this, and if you can't then there will be someone else to step up and take control.
Relapses are something which happen to me, it doesn't matter how strong you feel or how well you have been traveling, depression still remains with us, but when I have one, I have to go back and think about my strengths, my support and know that this short period will pass.
Focus on your g/friend and mention that you hope it goes well, and she will say 'don't worry because we love eachother'. Geoff.

[Muddlee]

Hi white knight,

Thanks for the response dude, read some of your other threads I think your awesome! Well great news is that I did get a bit anxious before my GF's bday dinner (which I think was triggered by a bit of guilt the afternoon before because I didn't have time to go to the boys night out :(...BUTTT I was easily able to manage it calmly and help myself out and had one of the easiest nights out ever, it was a great night 😄 Totally understand what you mean by the fine line between anxiety and excitement. I definitely think that in this scenario it was 50/50 which still means that these feelings and thoughts can't all be anxiety (damm you generalist thinking). And yes I have asked questions about medication to my gp which was about 4-5 months ago and about a 1 year ago prior to that. Very cautious with the idea at first but note the vitalitiy and helpfulness it during really rough times. So far they've told me because of my age and good progress that its not necessary, but always keep it mind. Also have been practicing some meditation on the headspace app and keen to get involved in this muscle therapy program run at my uni. Relaxation classes would defintely be an attractive option for me. Ill keep you posted.

Muddleee

[Muddlee]

Hi geoff,

Thanks for the love and care dude, sincerely appreciate it. I know what you mean by excitement triggering some unnecessary anxiety, thoughts, feelings, beliefs etc. For instance, I was worried about a chain reaction from having intrusive thoughts whilst out. So I would firslty get excited about going out and having a good time then wham...what if my night out is ruined by my anxiety/intrusive thoughts? What if she sees I'm overly anxious or withdrawn? What if I do something thay upsets her? etc etc etc. Obviously most (if not none!) of this actually happened and did regret the fact that I self doubted myself so much to handle it even if it did happen. And thanks for your advice on lapses and relapses, have to be realistic in thinking about them and remind myself of my 'options' if they do get the better of me, starting with something as simple as these forums. One thing I'm trying these days is to lower my high standards a bit and treat myself with dignity, respect and helpfulnes. Defintely helped me out on the Sunday.

Muddlleee