It might just be cause I’m a teenager

[Becrosee]

Hey,I’m new.

I don’t have real problems I don’t think, or a mental illness. I just always have this nagging weight on me that I never really talk to anyone about so this seemed like a good idea I guess.

Im in high school, I’m still a teenager obviously so this might be apart of growing up. I sit in a group of amazing people, we have a really good friendship. The problem is, there’s always drama and I always have this urge to fix things. I do end up in the middle of all the drama, but that’s just because I want to help. When I see one of my friends down, all I want to do is help, I feel down when they are. I even cry myself to sleep over the fact that I can’t help. My helpnevef works. I just make things worse. I feel like a burden sometimes, like maybe they’d all be better off without me. I mean,I easily piss everyone off, I can’t help with anything. Idk I just feel irrelevant, no they don’t make me feel this way, I just have this horrible paranoia that everyone around me has ill feelings towards me, to the point where I have people because I think they hate me. This then leads to me hating myself and the cycle just continues from there.

I know none of this makes sense. I don’t really know what to do. I don’t know how to help my friends who two of them suffer from depression.

I also never seem to look out for myself. The other problem with me is I see myself in the mirror (TMI) when I get out of the shower, and I just hate it so much. Sometimes I come to the conclusion that I should eat smaller amounts or not at all. I’ve started wathcing my calories (800 or less a day now) and walk to loose weight. All this stupid stuff I do just because I think no one likes me so I should improve myself.

This then alllllll makes me feel down. Like I have this weight over me, no not just on the scales. Idk it’s hadd to decipher.

Is this just all apart of being a teenage girl? Am I just being silly?

[Birdy77]

Hi Becrosee,

I'm glad you've come here to talk about some of what's going on for you. It can help to talk about stuff and get it off your chest so to speak.

I can relate to a lot of what you wrote, and I can relate to being a teenage girl (but that was a while ago), and yes, I do think quite a lot of what you wrote could just be part of being a teenager, but not every teenager would feel the same feelings. It's a confusing time of life in my experience.

I have been a "helper" for a good portion of my life as well, twisting myself in knots to try and fix everyone's problems. You sound like a very caring and empathic person and it's lovely that you want to help your friends, but try to remember that you can't actually fix their problems. It's hard to come to terms with (took me many exhausting years to work this out!). It's lovely to support your friends, but in the end, that's all you can do, let them know you care and will be there for them, but you can't take on their issues as your own. You have enough on your plate as it is.

It's very hard not liking the person in the mirror, I can relate to that as well. Body image issues are a really big problem for lots of us, and I wish I could fix that for you (ha ha! See what I did there?) ... please make sure you take care of your body and eat enough, lots of fresh veggies and water and healthy food and walking will keep you healthy. Your body is going through lots of changes right now, so keep it well nourished and as you move towards adulthood your body will change shape as well.

I hope you feel comfortable to come back and talk about anything at all, we care about your wellbeing and always happy to listen.

🌻birdy