Is this normal.

[IT]

I am a 21 year old male doing a trade apprenticeship. I have anxiety and social anxiety, depression, derealisation and therefor lowself esteem. I feel the best when i am working or when i am busy. I know a few people and am not inyerested in meeting people but i am friends and hang out with only 2 or 3, we do not do much like clubs and bars just ride motorbikes and chill where ever, as we are not into going out to clubs and bars. Although when we do go out riding or chilling or do anything i can not enjoy it. Is it because i am too mature for my age? What i think i would like is a real girlfriend not for a sexual relationship and would adventually be my wife. I have never been in a relationship because its probably not possible or would be too awkward with the mental issues i have, although i think it would help me and possibly fix my problems.

My question is am i too mature for my age thats why i am not enjoying things apart from working, and is it normal to have little friends?

Thanks.

[geoff]

hello IT, by this I would think that you are into computers, never the less it seems as though you maybe tired of motorbiking and decided that you are missing one thing in life right now and that's not having a girlfriend, but because of the problems you suffer from this has then made it so difficult to be able to find someone you would love.
As we mature the joys in life suddenly change, and yes you have matured so bikeriding no longer gives you the excitement you once had.
`You don't have to go to nightclubs or bars to meet a lady friend, so maybe you could join a bike club and slowly get acquainted with some girls who also love to ride the bikes, then your passion for bikeriding will suddenly return. Geoff.

[Starwolf]

Hi IT, welcome to the forums.

Doing an apprenticeship while suffering mental issues is much to your credit. You deserve to feel self respect.

It is true that depression tends to act as a bit of a party pooper. It often lessens enjoyment of entertaining activities. For most of us, it is also true that the best things in life are those that can be shared with a special someone. Though if we are unhappy within ourselves, it can be difficult to accommodate another person's needs and idiosyncrasies in the long term. Depending on another person to make ourselves feel better or validate ourselves is fraught with hazards.

If you are undergoing counseling at the moment, discussing your thoughts and feelings could help you figure what lies at the root of your loss of interest.

If you're not interested in mixing with people and avoid meeting places, bumping into a potential partner could be difficult...unless you take a chance with online dating. Having common interests breaks the ice so -as Geoff suggested- you could join a bike club or take up a new activity. Volunteering is a great way to connect with caring, compassionate people.

Kindest thoughts.