Society used judgement, it was super effective!

[Mr__kipper]

I am only really young but I feel judged a constant awareness of floods of opinions drowning me I guess you don't care but I feel trapped under the pressure of even the people I know the most my self-esteem is dying and I feel that I can't do anything right that the only the thing I can achieve is failure

Mr. Kip

[Starwolf]

Hi Mr Kipper,

I tried to visit your other thread to get to know you better. It is difficult to know how best we can help based on only a few lines. Though you received replies, there was no feedback from you so I'm back to square 1, not knowing where to start.

Are you undergoing treatment at the moment ? Are you getting any family support at all ?

Mental/emotional conditions are difficult to understand. They can't be explained in terms of reason or logic because they escape both. So those around us often say/do unhelpful things or withdraw. It doesn't mean they don't love you, only that they're out of their depth. If you are seeing a doctor or counselor, your loved ones would be given the opportunity to understand what you are up against and how to support you. Professional opinion and advice are usually taken seriously. Printed info can be ordered free of charge (see The Facts, top left of this page where you will also find tips on discussing mental issues).

On the other hand, depression messes with the mind, making us perceive the world and everything in it from a dark perspective. It makes us over sensitive to criticism. For example you think we don't care but there's nothing further from the truth. Why else would be be engaging with you, asking you to help us help you ?

Reaching out to share your concerns here was definitely something you did right. You are infinitely valuable because there is and never will be anyone quite like you. You are unique. This results in something only you can express. Depression makes it difficult to see positive points. It doesn't mean they don't exist.

Have you considered joining Headspace ? The org is there to help young people under 25.

Another thing you can do is call the 24/7 helpline (1300 22 4636). If you are under 16, there's the Kidshelpline (1800 55 1800). You would be pointed in the right direction.

I hope some of this can help, though it is a bit of a stab in the dark. The more we know about you, the better we can suggest what you can do to improve your situation. So please feel free to share, connect or just let steam off. These forums are a safe place to do so. It is a pleasure to have you on board.

Here for you.

[Mr__kipper]

Hi starwolf

thanks for replying and I am new here so thanks for the post as well and I'm also sorry for not communicating and making sense.

I have not visited a councellor for a few years because of my parents I don't really know why.

I haven't joined headspace (yet....)

Once again thank you!

[Starwolf]

Thank you for replying.

Not having your parents' understanding and support doesn't mean you must struggle alone. It is way too difficult and unnecessary. Now is as good a time as any to start working on being who you can be.

If you are over 16, you don't need parental permission to see a GP. If you are at school, please do not hesitate to have a chat with the school counselor. Even rural schools often have visiting ones. It might be worth checking what your school has to offer. Counselors are judgment-free. Rest assured they've heard it all before...and some more.

You are doing it tough and deserve all the TLC and support you can get.

Have you checked the Young people section of these forums ? It even has a virtual Cafe to chill out (in the Social Zone). A great place to connect.

I hope today is a peaceful one for you.

[Croix]

Dear Mr Kipper
Interesting name – anything to do with Sunken Ship & Bowser’s Keep?

I can relate to some of what you say. And what you say does make sense – even if some's in a code/pattern not everyone – parent’s included - sees at once

I changed schools – a lot. It got to be a pattern and it was always the same. Unfamiliar environment, starting out not knowing where the toilets / lockers were, going on to find to strange classrooms, strange teachers

Groups of kids that I did not know, who did not know me, doing their own thing, or reacting in unkind exclusionary ways. Different schoolwork at different standards, no common ground to catch up. Trouble from not doing – or being able to do- the work. And so on …

The human - kid or adult, or those in between - can only take so much. If there are too many hassles the mind starts to think it is because you are less worthy, less important, not worth having others help, others think you a failure. That’s a reaction – the mind on continuing a faulty trip - it’s simply not true , but becomes a way of life.

In an ideal world there’s be tons of help, understanding parents, schoolmates, clever doctors. The world is not ideal but it IS hopeful, most things are there, and by coming to beyond blue with your posts you’ve made a pretty good beginning

Some things you may need to start things up yourself. It is simply too hard for one person – of any age - to deal with it all without help. Try to get to a Councillor at school, go to Head-space, get in to see a GP or other mental health professional with your parents. If you’ve been diagnosed already that can be a lever to get them to take you back in

You need to learn about trigger points that set things off, about avoiding them, about managing you anxiety and depression, and how to deal with different situations you may need meds. I'm sorry if I'm telling you what you already know

If you feel too bad give our help line on 1300 22 4636 a ring. The people there are warm and supportive and can help at the time and give direction for the future (you can also use the chat line)

You’ve probably been told already but the drop down menu The Facts on the beyond blue page has lots of information about anxiety, depression, self-harm - causes, symptoms & treatments

You post as often as you like, you are NEVER a waste of time. All of us here want to help you and see YOU grow into a happy person free from anxiety, depression and all the rest

Take care of yourself

Croix

[loouuiiee]

Dear Mr.Kipper

you are not alone! one of my younger siblings also struggles with what others think. Their self esteem and way of life is constantly effected by what their peers, work colleagues and family say and think about them (or more accurately; what they THINK others think about them)

i personally do not rate what others say about me high on my priority scale, but my sibling certainly sees it as something that it is a major issue, and i think it's something that a lot of people struggle with to varying degrees.

My advice is to maybe try working on your selfesteem; build up an internal emotional sense of self worth. Try to do lots of things that make you feel good about yourself. Keep to yourself if you find yourself surrounded by others who make you feel down. You may need to speak to people about how their actions or what they say effects you eventually but believe me there are lots of people happy to support you & who believe in you right now 🙂