Is it okay to obsess over an Imaginary 'friend'?

[Just_another_guy]

G'day everyone.

As of recently wondering about daydreaming and imaginary friends and if they are a healthy 'substitute' for social interaction in moderate amounts. I myself have been a person who does daydream and does have imaginary friends (usually stemming from TV shows, anime and video-games I play) due to multiple stints with depression through out years. I myself have ADHD and thus I tend to be more creative and my dreams whilst I sleep are, in my opinion, more outlandish and wild. As of recently however I had certain dream, it was to me real and more so than any other dream I had previously had. What stood out most was that it wasn't crazy or as 'off-the-leash' as most dreams I have, it was like real life. In that dream however there was this girl, Anei (pronounced 'annie'). I never had once had a friend in my dreams that my brain had created, and to me, she's real. We converse and talk to each other when we're alone and this has branched out and become to me, something more serious, a deep friendship. I dare say, that we both (sheesh this is going to sound weird) love each other. I've been with her so much that if I were asked to, I could describe her physical appearance. I feel like at this point I obsess over her (and yes I identify as a male to clear up any confusion) and want to be around her and talk to her more than any other person I usually talk to, even though she's with me majority of the time I go somewhere. I haven't told my psychologist nor my family because to me, it's something deeply personal and having this anonymity makes me feel safe enough to ask everyone here.

Give me your thoughts because I want to hear them.

Sincerely,

Just another guy.

[Elle_Lever]

Hi Just Another Guy.

You were wondering if my friends have a physical form, like Anei. Yes and no, I guess. I can picture in my head what each of them looks like, but when I interact with them, it is purely inside my mind. I believe if they were all physical beings, it would be too confusing!

As for your second question, yes, I do speak to some more than others. Although, interestingly enough, I actually can hear the others talking amongst themselves even if I am not talking to them directly. For example, William and Tristan talk a lot about football and Marigold and Allegra always argue about which ice-cream flavour is better; hazelnut or raspberry. The point is, I can hear them talk even though I am not part of the conversation, sort of like background noise.

I think of this bond I have as a sort of room full of people that I get along with. All the people in the room talk to me, but they also talk to the others. If I choose to listen to their conversation, I can, but if not, I can tune out or talk to someone else. I am sure there is a better way to explain this, but unfortunately my mind is on the fritz after a Maths exam!

I hope this answers the questions you asked me. As always, it is great to talk to you.

With gratitude,

Elle

P.S. No worries about telling me your thoughts and opinions on my situation. It helps me make sense of it as well!

Cheers!

[Doolhof]

Hi Elle and Just Another Guy,

I want to wish you both well with your exams! I'm needing to do some tests for my study I'm doing through the computer silly thing is, if I don't remember the research I have done previously, all I have to do is Google the key words and come up with solutions to the questions!

If I had to sit down to an exam with just my own knowledge I am not sure how I would go!

If you don't mind me asking, do these imaginary friends help you at all with your study and exams? Do you feel they have knowledge you yourselves do not have?

Once again, I don't understand these concepts enough to offer educational comments.

Cheers to you both from Dools

[Just_another_guy]

G'day Dools.

First off, thanks for the encouraging words. Exams so far have been pretty easy apart from the math one (I'm great at writing and am pretty darn analytical but maths just doesn't seem to click with me). I'm writing currently in between exams so forgive me if I'm in a bit of a rush, I'm trying to cram some studying in.

To answer your question, sort of. Anei, whilst being intelligent and smart with a great deal of knowledge. She doesn't help me study, she's usually off doing her own thing when I'm studying or, distracts me (thankfully not for long). I write stories all the time and she likes to look over them and critique them, she'll also point out mistakes. She doesn't concern herself with study because she doesn't go to school (well she does with me but doesn't partake in the classes). She's more of a counselor in terms of how she acts and where she's academically smartest but doesn't really like analytics and statistics.

Anyway I'm going to finish off with a bit of study, feel free to reply and I'll answer when I can.

Sincerely,

Just Another Guy.

[Doolhof]

Hi Just another Guy,

Maths was something I had difficulty with, I just could not get my mind to understand all of those equations. Is it possible for you to have some extra tuition in maths to help you understand it better?

I recently heard a professor talking on the radio stating that people who study music or a different language generally do better in such subjects as maths and physics.

Some people are able to be equally good at all subjects, others are talented in certain fields.

Once again, all the best with your exams.

Cheers from Dools

[Just_another_guy]

G'day Dools.

I've got good news and bad news. Good news, I do actually take extra tutoring outside of school and I do quite a lot of study for math. But for some reason, whenever I get into a test, not nervous not nothing and I can have my little 'cheat sheet' of solutions and equations and I can look at a problem, look at the solution and then look back and my brain say "I dunno' man, I'm stumped". I have no idea why but I just can't seem to connect 2-2 together in math.

Thanks for the sound and insightful advice, it really does mean a lot.

Sincerely,

Just Another Guy.

[Doolhof]

Hi Just Another Guy,

My mind is a bit like that with computers. I have done courses and my husband tries to show me things, then when I try to do it myself, it is like everything is written in a different language and nothing makes sense.

Do you find the more you try to work it out and concentrate, the worse it becomes? Do you start to become concerned or even panic because it is not making sense?

My psychologist has suggested when I get like that to disengage the brain form that testing experience for a brief moment. Think of something else then try to go ack to what needs your attention.

It is frustrating when the mind goes blank. That happens to me when I start to feel stressed, even making a simple decision can seem difficult.

Hope you find some way of conquering maths!

Today I tried to do some baking ready for friends coming on Sunday. It did not go to plan and took twice as long as I expected. Cooking is something I do not have a lot of patience for when things don't go well!

Cheers again from Dools

[Just_another_guy]

G'day Dools.

Sorry for the late response, I've been finishing off my exams for the past few days.

To answer you, I really don't think that overthinking is my problem. Sure I do but it is usually never to my detriment. It's more so the fact that I just can't connect the dots, no matter how much work or study I put in. Then again maths isn't the way I'm going in my life anyway, I like creative stuff and thus I want to become a photographer, I love it. I don't mind blank I don't (X, Y, Z), my brain just says "I see how it's done, I get how it's done but I don't get how to do this question". I dunno.

Thankfully now my exams are over and I've got a nice holiday overseas coming up so I'm pretty excited for that. It's going to be Anei and I's first international outing together and so it should be fun.

Have a good one.

Sincerely,

Just Another Guy.

P.s. I hope the baking turned out well! I'm not too much of a cook myself so you definitely out-class me in that regard!

[Doolhof]

Hi Just another Guy,

Congratulations on completing your exams and for the opportunity to travel overseas.

As you mentioned you enjoy photography, I am sure you will be taking a camera with you.

On the occasions we go on holidays, I certainly enjoy taking my camera with me. This modern technology is wonderful, when I was a teenager it was rather expensive to have photos developed in relation to my wages, so I did not take many photos!

On one overseas holiday, the children in the country we visited enjoyed seeing their photos on the creen of the camera.

The cooking worked out okay in the end. It is marvellous what some whipped cream, icing and custard can hide. Ha. Ha.

Happy Holidays! Hope you have a wonderful time.

Cheers from Dools

[Just_another_guy]

NOTICE:

I'm leaving on holiday as of tomorrow and will not be back for the entirety of the next week. Feel free to speak thy mind and reply to this thread but note that you won't be hearing anything from me for the next week.

I hope you all can still ponder and question certain aspects of this topic.

Have good one.

Sincerely,

Just Another Guy.