Broken and Alone

[Jadoss_xx]

My boyfriend of 2 years just broke up with me and he was one of my only friends, he was my best friend, but just feel so broken and alone.

He broke up with me for the following reasons;

1. I was too controlling and he was always depressed whenever he thought of 'us'

2. He said he's sick of always changing himself for others and not putting himself first.

3. He believed another girls rumour that I sent nudes to my ex whilst my boyfriend was on holiday, even though he said he beleives me that I didn't do it.

4. He doesn't trust me because I broke up with him for a night because I was in a troubled headspace and had a depressive episode, although I did apologise for that later.

5. I wanted to catch up with an old male friend while we were on holidays, who I used to have a thing for, and I understood and apologised.

I just feel like it's all my fault and I feel so broken because it was so unexpected and sudden. I just need someone to talk to right now...

[Peppermintbach]

Hi Jadoss,

I’m reading and “listening”...

I feel breakups are horrendous and painful. I’m so sorry about this...he sounds like he meant the world to you. As you said, he was your best friend.

You must be feeling so heartbroken, devastated, shocked and lost...I’ve had my heart broken before too so I can relate...

I feel there’s no “rulebook” when it comes to grieving the end of a relationship. It generally hurts a lot is all I can say...

My gentle suggestion is to be extra kind to yourself during this period and to honour your pain. By honouring your pain, I mean letting the tears fall, letting the pain out, etc and try not to ignore or deny the pain as that just prolongs “process”... at least in my experience anyway.

I know maybe your mind and emotions are telling you that it’s your “fault” but relationships are a 2-way street so I don’t feel you can shoulder all of the blame...just my thoughts...

I’m not sure what your support network is like. But if you have a good relationship with your friends and family, I feel it can be helpful to reach out to them for support and company. While they can’t directly mend your heartbreak, they might be able to offer comfort and support....

And of course, you’re most welcome to chat here any time. You can write any time you like and as much or as little as you like (just whatever you feel comfortable with). I feel there are many caring people here who would be willing to listen...

No rush or pressure but I hope we hear from you again if you feel like writing...

Kind and caring thoughts,

Pepper