Young people

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Eeep! When study is overwhelming! - Tips, ideas and coping strategies

replies: 51

Hi! Just thought I’d make a post with some tips for study. I know this is something we can all struggle with. These are all suggestions so feel free to take them or leave them! Hope they help! If you only remember one thing, let it be this: You are important. Your grades don’t define you. (support) Studying can feel isolating but know you’re not alone! Reach out – and find or make friends that can support you along the way. If you’re having trouble finding some friends, join some local communities or clubs! They have lots at Uni’s and even stuff like open days are great ways to meet new people and find out what’s happening. Study groups can also be a great way to meet people and stay motivated. Also remind yourself why you’re doing this; inspirational wallpapers or quotes can be super inspiring. Remember the saying about the oxygen mask? If you can’t take care of yourself first studying will be harder. You are important. You know the drill - water, food, exercise, sleep. Try to stay calm. Stuff that might be able to help include mindfulness, breathing exercises, colouring in, going for walks, journaling, listening to music… If you’re struggling – reach out. See a therapist. Talk to your student counsellor. If you need help, don’t be afraid to ask for it. Also lots of Universities and TAFE offer disability services – which includes conditions like Depression and Anxiety. (study) Find the right study space for you. Maybe that’s in your room, or a coffee shop, or the library. Some people find that noise helps; other people not so much. If you like particular kinds of noise, you can find ‘coffee shop’ noise or ‘rain sounds’ to help concentrate. Make a plan. It helps to do it often so it becomes a habit. Anytime you get a due date, write it down. Maybe you could use a diary, planner, bullet journal or an app. I find the 30/30 App helpful - study for a bit and then break for a bit. You can also get add-on’s for your computer to block sites like Facebook if you find them too distracting. Find out what study technique works for you. Do you like cue cards? Mind maps? Colour coding? Does highlighting stuff help you remember? Charts, maps, diagrams? Recorded lectures? Goals! These are so important – not just writing down deadlines but rewarding yourself for meeting them. Even making smaller goals like ‘read two pages from a textbook’ can help. Break it down into bite size pieces, and don’t forget to reward yourself after!

NEW TO THIS FORUM? Please read this first

replies: 0

The Young People space is a sub-forum within the wider Beyond Blue forum community. 1. Its purpose is to provide members aged 25 and under a space to discuss anxiety, depression and other related life issues. If you are aged over 25, please be mindful that this forum is a space for younger people to connect and provide peer support for each other. 2. Content from this sub-forum is displayed on both the beyondblue and youthbeyondblue websites. 3. Please bear in mind that some members find content relating to suicide and/or self-harm distressing or triggering. If you would like to post on these topics, please do so in our Suicidal Thoughts and Self Harm section. Please see also our guidelines for making posts on this topic. Posts made here in the Young People sub-forum containing content relating to suicide and/or self-harm will be moved. 4. These forums are moderated, so your posts may not appear straightaway. Information on how our system works can be found here. Being familiar with our community rules can help ensure that your posts appear online as quickly as possible. 5. This is a peer support community, and to get the best out of being here we recommend that you 'give support to receive support'. More on how that works here.

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Depressed and getting no where

replies: 2

I'm just going to post the crux of my situation, thanks if you read it. I got my first full time job two years ago which I just left a fortnight ago due to bullying. I was harassed constantly for a year by other workers and by the management themselves, not because I did anything but because they were bullies with a history of abusing innocent workers. I left because another job came up with another company which I thought would be more professional, but this new job is a manual job (which I understood before applying), but the problem is that I feel that I am way too overloaded with work for the day. I've been working 9-10 hour days and the management have been complaining that I take too long to do the work. I asked my colleague who was training me in the job and he said that is how they are, its a bit of a bad culture there which I didn't know as I'm new. I know I won't be staying there so I am so depressed at the moment that I am busting my behind and then I get home every day and just go to sleep for most of the night, wake up have dinner and then go back to sleep. I feel so useless because I don't know what to do with myself and I don't know if I'll ever be able to have any career or decent job without being harassed. I was great at my last job but I was pushed out of it by people that harassed me, lied about me and at one point I was violently assaulted. I just don't know what to do, makes me wonder if it is even worth trying sometimes. I've dealt with depression since high school and I am just so sick of people when all I want is to be left alone and just go about my work. If it wasn't for my girlfriend I probably wouldn't care as much about being alive. I've got no current prospects and I'm basically sick of trying. I don't know what to do. My girlfriend is pretty much the only thing that makes me happy right now but my parents don't approve of our relationship and because I don't have a regular income I can't move out right now. Just shaking my head at the moment because I don't know if things will ever get any better for me. I feel like such a loser. Sorry just needed to get this out to someone.

Shame

replies: 3

I’ve been struggling a lot with my self image recently, sometimes my self worth. It’s been a long time since I’ve thought like this but today hit me pretty hard. My boyfriend and I were going to the beach, and all I was thinking is is this bikini too tight on me now? Once we get to the beach we can’t find a park very close so we walk a fair way. Once we’re there the beach is surrounded by pretty much tan and beautiful people, and all I’m feeling is like this pale chubbachub, I know I shouldn’t care so much about it, what I look like but I hate the stretch marks on my legs and the sheer weight of my thighs. My boyfriend asked me if I wanted to go for a swim I said no, I’ll go later another time maybe. He just thought I was mad at him for something that happened earlier in the day and I was just being annoying. I didn’t want to tell him that I didn’t want to swim because I was worried about chaffing on my big thighs from walking back to the car wet. I usually talk to him but I’ve been finding it hard because every time I try he seems to want to fix it or just say no ur not fat and why don’t u believe me when I say your beautiful, he just ends up getting annoyed that he can’t fix my mood and then I feel 10x worse, and I just wanted someone to talk to, because this really gets me down a lot, I know it shouldn’t and I know it’s shallow but it’s taking up a lot of my time thinking bad about my body, does anyone know ways to get out of this frame of mind?

Taken by surprise with anxiety

replies: 2

Hey everyone, First time writing in one of these so here we go. A few months ago I moved into an established sharehouse (4 including me) and it’s great. I had a friend already there and the 2 guys are brilliant, my friend and them don’t get on as well as I do them due to my similar sense of humour. Over the past month I’ve become attracted to one of them, it’s hard because I enjoy his company when he comes home work as we just hang out and talk, we’ve had a similar up bringing and he’s supportive of me trying to build a business (he read out lines of a book 2 me I’d underlined). A month ago I had a bit of a crisis, I graduated uni last year and I’m trying to work on my own business whilst having a casual retail job. But I realised that I felt like I had no purpose, retail wasn’t sustaining me financially, mentally or creatively. I realised that I need a full time job whilst building my business, it’s dawned on me that I’ll have to move states due to the nature of my work. Being from the UK and moving around so much I’m prepared for it. But this time it feels different, when I left home I was excited because where I was living I didn’t know many people, it was the same when I left the UK. The prospect of leaving has my heart torn in two, I want to do what’s best for me but I finally feel like I belong somewhere. I have an interview which I’ve told my housemates about and I’m worried that it’ll change the dynamic (it’s happened previously) in the house but I keep getting told I doesn’t matter or I shouldn’t have said anything (I don’t overly like keeping secrets). The last few days my brain has been swirling with so many thoughts and feeling, I feel mentally exhausted. I feel like I belong where I am now but in way that where I’m living at moment isn’t the right time for me. I could imagine bringing up a family here but the thought of being here indefinitely bores me to tears. I like the adventure of going somewhere new but the thought of starting again and not meeting people like my housemates kills me a little bit. I only have a few close friends and I count them as some. In all the time of moving I’ve never felt as I do now, as to whether I’m making the right decision. A part of me also knows it’s also the thought of leaving my housemate I’m attracted to, it sounds daft because I know I don’t know he how feels. I’m afraid of starting over, not having the housemates I have now, and the prospect of not meeting someone I’m attracted to.

Depressed boyfriend. Need support

replies: 1

We've been together almost a year next month. We had this instant connection when we met, we both told eachother about our trust issues and he opened up and told me about the abuse he suffered until he was 18 by his dad.something he has never done before & hes never had a girlfriend, everything kind of unfolded quickly- it was great. We decided to move in together late last year so he left it all to me. As it was all done in a rush even i knew i jumped the gun on the place i chose. I guess it all started the moment we moved in, I could just tell he did not like it. He would come home and feel miserable because there was nothing closeby- we were big on going to cafes and on runs and his mates lived a far. Despite this it didn' stop him from buying furniture or bringing home flowers. So I brushed it off. Fast forward to the start of the year and I said something he took wrong. I made the biggest mistake even though I didn' say it to intentionally hurt him it was just me being insecure about an issue and I didn' think it was something bad. Ever since, he started being more distant and told me he needed space and he was shutting down. I didn' realise how much I stuffed up and it affected me alot because I hurt somebody that I love so I was constantly upset. I was so confused that something so small could ruin everything we had. He told me I broke his trust and that he wasn't the same. The only way he deals with this is by shutting every one out and keeping to himself. Whenever I would ask him if he still wanted to be together or how he felt all he would say is "I don't know". The last 2 months have been hard as we both dont have anywhere else to go and are constantly home. We still talk and at times joke around, sex hasn' stopped but I know he isn't his happy self anymore. I left for a week but had to come back as I couldn't stay away from my home. He said he missed me but still wasn' sure. Recently he admitted he doesn't not want to be with me but is finding it hard to overcome this and doesn't know how long or if he will ever be okay. I'm not willing to give up on him. Ive Had a few breakdowns as I'm trying hard to be here and support him without letting this affect me cause hes not the same guy I fell in love him with- I just needed to vent and I see im not alone. How did you get the strength to not let it affect you infront of him? He has never spoken to anyone about his past but he needs to, how should I go about this??

Life Can Be Problematic

replies: 6

Hey everyone, long story short I'm 22 and trying to get my life together, I'm in the process of getting some voluntary work experience through a job agency, The problem is if my job is not local I'm going to have to rely on public transport which I have never really used and still trying to get comfortable with, Every time I raise the important of having my own car my dad doesn't want to talk about it. His theory is get a job than the car, Maybe that worked in the 70's but in 2018 it's the opposite. I feel like im making no life progress as im still trying to get my licence, Feel like things are not moving along as they should, find myself at home alot and down wishing life were different, Friends don't understand my issues and I have nobody to vent too so this is what brought me here to beyondblue Can anyone relate to this... Thanks for reading this, dont expect anyone to bother with replying but it would be nice aha

Moving

replies: 3

hi, I'm a 14 year old girl and I just moved from the top of Australia (where I lived for 5 years and grew many friendships) to NSW and I am not dealing well with it all. I feel lost, like my life has no meaning. I am simply going to school, studying, laying in bed all weekend and repeat. I have made 2 friends but they both live an hour away from me because I don't go to my zone school. I don't fit in and all I want to do is go home, back to the Northern Territory. It is too hard to live down here and every time I think about home I start to cry, which is like every night. I just want to go home but my parents never want to go back because they grew up in NSW and want to stay here. I am only 14 so I cant go and live up there by myself and I just don't know how to deal with it. I fear that when I am old enough to move there alone, it won't be the same as it used to be and all I want to do is live out my life there. It is my home. I just need some way to deal with it and someone I can talk to.

Everyone loves my best friend and I'm just there

replies: 2

So we are a group of 5, 3 guys and 2 girls including myself. My best friend is beautiful, tall and thin. I can look nice but nothing compared to her. I just found out at all three friends are currently crushing on her at the same time. I feel so unneeded in my group, and so unattractive and hideous I don't like any of them that way but it would be lovely to be desired and appreciated. This may sound selfish but I'm sure a lot of girls understand what I mean I have a history of anorexia and I can't help feeling that if I was thin again more guys would like me I just feel so worthless and gutted. It's actually such a humiliating feeling. All the care about is her. They don't even know how they make me feel. Any help guys?

‘Changing into another part of me’

replies: 4

Hello reader, I’ve come to ramble again about my mental health here and just wanted to vent out and see what might be an issue since I’ve got a psychologist appointment soon. ill start with the fact I’ve posted here before about the issue of me ‘changing to a different state’. This also may be due to psychosis, I’m not sure. I was only recently diagnosed this January. This happens at random or certain times such as after 9:30pm or when left alone (e.g by myself or not around friends or people I like) and what happens during this is I become completely number of most emotion except anger and narcissism is raised drastically. I’m above everyone else and deserve more, I don’t feel emotion or care, empathy is gone and sadness is non existent. I don’t feel until I switch back to my normal self. Currently im in this state, I seek knowledge of what my issue is and this is often what happens when I change. Everything is silent to me, my brain doesn’t think to me and all I hear is single thoughts instead of my usual racing mind and non silent self. I’m completely aware about myself and it’s other part. We share thought and memories, there’s no blanks in them or anything. Often when in my normal phase, I have my other part of me talking like a thought would come through, it’s like a thought except it’s not my usual thought if you know what I mean. Imagine you looked at a duck and wanted to feed it, another part of me says “No, end it’s pathetic life” or another example is when talking to people when I really care about what their saying, I ‘think’ “I don’t care about you, you don’t matter”. It’s kinda like an intrusive thought except I don’t feel worried about it at all since I can’t really feel it or im so used to it. i often behave silently and it’s very noticeable if I do switch. Most commonly is I tend to have no facial expression, I’m monotonous and my English is hightend in vocabulary. I also express a lot of rage and violence’s if provoked. I’ve been provoked in the past and have hurt people without thinking, but let’s not think about that it’s not too important. my finals point here is that I’m so confused to what on earth this is about, is it an ASD alter? Psychosis? DID? I’m not very sure and would like to hear what you think. If you want or can, perhaps you should read my other posts that I’ve made. I’m it sure if I know how you can find them but I’m a strange child with a little bit of everything Thanks for your replies and I’m out of characters.

Unsure of approach to socialising

replies: 3

Hi, I'm new to this forum, in need of some advice about the best way to approach talking about oneself. I have a get-together tomorrow and I'm worried already that I'll be the silent loser in the corner... I'm a bad storyteller and conversation-maker. My mind just goes blank when I try to recall a story. I'm fine with the listening and asking questions bit, just suck at talking about myself. I just came back from a trip overseas so technically I should have heaps of stories. But, say today, I couldn't bring myself to talk about any of my journeys with a friend. He talked about himself, and the conversation flowed but then when it came to my turn, all I could muster was a few facts about what I had learnt about overseas and the general vibe I had felt about the place. Nothing more, as my mind was blank. I think I have trouble remembering specific facts like how many floors of flowers there were in a building. It's partly why I can't tell stories as I start a story then have to go back and correct the numbers and facts, and get worried that I'm losing the other person's patience. As well, I have a harsh inner critic that says "that's stupid and boring" whenever I think of something, although usually it is actually a stupid and boring idea I just thought up. Like "Oh I saw a mahjong auto-shuffling table" which would be really random to talk about and difficult for anyone to relate to. Perhaps it is my attitude in general - I usually have no patience for superficial things. I want to talk about stuff that is relevant to people, but it ends up being silence because my mind becomes blank. Could someone please tell me how to best approach this? Selfhelp videos keep telling me to be spontaneous, let my guard down etc. but that advice isn't working because it feels forced and I always feel like I don't have energy to spout anything that comes to mind and then try to make a story out of it. It just ends up in me spouting random facts and awkwardness ensuing. Is there a more fun and enjoyable approach?

Why is it so hard to find a job?

replies: 3

I graduated from High School in 2014 and did a few courses here and there like I did my Certificate IV in Community Services and Certificate III in Early Childhood Education and Care and really just trying to find something that I can relate my interest to and to get an idea of what it is that I'd want to do. I'm currently doing my Diploma in Community Services (Case Management) because I finally found an interest in the field. I did work as a Disability Support Worker that paid well for a year and they unfortunately terminated my employment because they wanted someone who can do more hours than I do, I tried arguing that it is also because I am a full-time student but it seemed like the admin person just had something to say which really pissed me off. I tried so hard looking for a job in the field, maybe something other than a support worker again, just want to try something different but why the hell is it so hard to look for a job? Out of the 60 jobs I applied for online, all I'm receiving are rejections because I'm not "experienced" enough. Well how can you expect someone to be "experienced" if you can't even give them an experience to do?

Eeep! When study is overwhelming! - Tips, ideas and coping strategies replies: 51

NEW TO THIS FORUM? Please read this first replies: 0

Depressed and getting no where replies: 2

Shame replies: 3

Taken by surprise with anxiety replies: 2

Depressed boyfriend. Need support replies: 1

Life Can Be Problematic replies: 6

Moving replies: 3

Everyone loves my best friend and I'm just there replies: 2

‘Changing into another part of me’ replies: 4

Unsure of approach to socialising replies: 3

Why is it so hard to find a job? replies: 3